SCARLET WITCH VS HAIRDRESSER 3

SCARLET WITCH VS HAIRDRESSER 3

THROUGH THE STYLING GLASS

By Yenoc and Scarlet

WARNING: This story contains sexual

situations and violence (nc, MF). It

is to be read by adults only. If this

sort of material is not to your liking,

then read no further.

PART I.

Chapter 1. Prologue

The sun had risen bright and warm that

fateful day, just as it always had, just

as it most likely always would.

However, the omnipotent powers that

be had drolly decreed that it was to be

anything but an ordinary day for Wanda

Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, a member

of the mighty Avengers.

There is no such thing as 'ordinary' or

'normal' in the life of a superheroine.

You live amid the restless sea that is

the rest of humanity, but the fates, as

they weave the slender, easily broken,

interwoven threads that form the many

colored tapestry of life, play a cruel

joke by instilling within you powers and

abilities that will forever set you apart

from the rest of humankind.

Whether one is born with these 'gifts',

as was the case with the mutant Wanda

Maximoff, or gains them through other

means, be it by accident or by destiny,

a superheroine will never lead a 'normal'

life. The Scarlet Witch was to learn

that spiteful lesson well that cursed day.

Chapter 2. When The Walls Come Tumbling Down

The Scarlet Witch drove her bright red

Posche 911 down a deserted stretch of

road in upstate New York..listening to the

new Tori Amos album playing loudly on the

cd player..the wind blowing through her

long, auburn hair. She smiled broadly to

herself..things had been going so well

in her life lately, especially her romance

with her boyfriend, Magnnus.

It was late afternoon on a bright, sunny

day. The road was full of curves and bends;

the kind just made for the buxom, young

Avenger's road-hugging sports car. She

was thoroughly enjoying the pleasure drive.

Suddenly, as she drove around one sharp

bend, Wanda's attention was drawn to an

old house on her left. The white, two-

story house was ablaze with flames..a

raging matchbox. There were no other

houses around in the vicinity.

The Scarlet Witch slammed hard on the

brakes and quickly parked her expensive,

European convertible in front of the

burning house. The five-foot-seven-inch-

tall, blue-eyed beauty immediately jumped

athletically out of the car, not bothering

with the door, and exclaimed to herself,

"Wow!! I hope no one is trapped inside."

The concerned Avenger stood nervously

beside her car, watching intently for a

moment. She was clad in her usual rose-

colored body stocking over which she wore

a crimson leotard, calf-high boots, long

gloves, cloth tiara, and full cloak, all

crimson in color. She also wore a circular

disk in the center of her tiara and an

oval broach on her cloak's collar below

her chin.

She carried a five-foot-long, one-inch-

thick adamantium scepter crowned with a

tennis ball sized ruby. The silver-colored,

metallic accessories were complex constructs

designed to augment the Scarlet Witch's

mutant power to create hex spheres which

altered probability fields.

The Scarlet Witch heard loud crackles and

pops, and a low roaring sound, coming from

the old house as it was engulfed in flames;

the windows were all broken and flames shot

out the frames. There was a thick, black

cloud of smoke streaming from the roof of

the house; the entire building was a raging

inferno. Suddenly, Scarlet heard a child cry

out from somewhere inside of the rapidly

burning home, "Help me! Mommy! Help!"

The Scarlet Witch gasped loudly as she

heard the child's high-pitched, pleading

voice. Her worst fears realized..she

quickly began using her abilities as a

true witch to rapidly create buckets and

buckets of water above the burning house,

seemingly from out of nowhere, to slow

down the raging flames..then she plunged

recklessly into the burning building.

Bright flames and billowing smoke were

everywhere; it was almost impossible

to see. A violet-colored magic Ioun

stone, given to Scarlet by a strange,

chaotic-neutral adventurer named Vladi

Wizard, suddenly appeared above the

crimson-clad Avenger's head and created

a faint, dark-reddish aura around her

which protected her from the fire and

heat..but she choked on the smoke..the

desperate heroine thought to herself in

trepidation, "I must find the child before

the smoke overcomes one or both of us!"

A female voice, the child Scarlet had

heard earlier, yelled out, "Mom! Help

me! I'm trapped upstairs!"

The Scarlet Witch quickly raced up the

stairs, continuing to cast create water

spells as best she could..the magic Ioun

stone glowed brightly above her head as

it served it's special function. She choked

on the thick smoke..the fire consumed the

oxygen...it was incredibly hard to breathe.

The smoke thickened as Scarlet finally

managed to reach the top of the stairs;

it choked her lungs.

The fire raged out of control; above the low

roar that seemed to come from everywhere,

the heroine could barely make out the girl

screaming stridently from a nearby bedroom,

"AAEEHHH! Help me!!! It hurts, the fire hurts!!!"

The Scarlet Witch whirled and, in a flash

of motion, spin kicked hard, smashing the

bedroom door open. She entered the room

and looked desperately around for the

child, screaming impatiently, "Child call

to me."

The choking Avenger suddenly spotted a

teenage girl huddled in a corner of the

small, smoke-filled room, crying. The thin,

blonde-haired girl looked to be 15 or 16

years old; she was surrounded by an

encroaching circle of fire..she already

appeared to have burns on her arms!

"Over here! Help me!!" the girl sobbed,

tears streaming down her terror-filled

face.

The Scarlet Witch rushed quickly to the

shaking girl and gently wrapped her arms

about her. The cloaked heroine deftly

touched the broach below her comely

chin, and..with a slight flash and a gentle

wind..they both disappeared.

Almost immediately..with a slight flash

of light and small gust of wind...they

reappeared...on the front lawn of the

home. "Are you okay child..is there

anyone else in the building?" the Avenger

asked anxiously as she quickly cast heal

spells on the quaking teen.

The fiery house suddenly shook and trembled

violently. The girl coughed and looked up

wide-eyed at the Scarlet Witch. "My brother

is in there!" she screamed loudly and bolted

headlong back toward the inferno.

The Scarlet Witch quickly tackled the girl

and gently held her to the ground. The

mutant/witch rapidly created more water over

the house as she demanded emphatically,

"Where?..I will go in for him..you stay out

here where you will be safe!"

The girl cried out in horror, "He was

in his bedroom upstairs! Save him!" The

Scarlet Witch quickly raced recklessly

back into the burning building..hoping to

repeat the previous rescue; she plunged

heedlessly back up the flaming stairs.

After Scarlet reentered the house, the

structure shook badly, suddenly several

ruts opened up in the earth around the

home. A wall of energy shot out of the

ruts and surrounded the home in an orb.

Once again choking on the thick, black

smoke..the heroic Avenger smashed her

130-pound frame into the door she could

hear a faint voice coming from, but

bounced off..landing on her rear. "I'm

coming boy..hold on," she called out

reassuringly out as she struggled back

to her feet.

In desperation, Scarlet smashed the base

of her scepter hard into the hot door

handle and stepped quickly into the room

as the door flew open. A thick, solid

steel partition suddenly dropped from the

ceiling over the doorway and abruptly cut

off her exit.

Steel shutters quickly slammed shut over

the windows. From somewhere in the room

the Scarlet Witch could faintly hear a boy's

voice cry "HELP! MEee! HELP! MEEE!" Strange

blue smoke suddenly began streaming into

the room from vents.

Scarlet abruptly stopped in her tracks and

gasped in surprise; as the steel partitions

dropped into place and she breathed in

her first lung full of gas, she could see the

tape recorder in the middle of the room

blaring the sound of a boy's voice calling

out for help. "Oh no..a trap!!" the stunned

heroine exclaimed and then collapsed limply

to the floor, asleep.

The flames in the house abruptly vanished,

the smoke and gas cleared, and the home

strangely looked almost brand new with

no damage to it. The energy orb emanating

from the ruts outside encircled the house,

which rocked and quaked on its foundation.

The house shuddered and pitched about.

Suddenly there was a loud boom and the

entire house rose into the air. It streaked

skyward as rockets attached to the bottom

of the abode fired up.

The Scarlet Witch moaned softly in her

drug-induced stupor as the housed soared

through the sky, the rockets pouring out

jets of flame. The dwelling rapidly flew

to preset coordinates in the sky; when

reached, the house halted its unlikely

flight and hovered in the air.

The very air and clouds themselves started

to ripple and glow with bright light as

reality shook and warped. A dimensional

fissure slowly opened up in the sky near

the structure..a portal into another

world, an unearthly realm.

The house suddenly streaked toward the

portal and entered it. Once through, the

fissure sealed itself. The Scarlet Witch

slept soundly..unaware of all of the

strange events.

Once in the new, unearthly realm, a very

different plane of existence, the house

set softly down in the middle of a strange

field. The field was filled with orange

and purple flowers that stood six feet

high.

The Scarlet Witch moaned slightly..the

knock-out gas wearing off. All was quiet

around the house, the stirring Scarlet

Witch evidently alone and isolated.

Scarlet moaned again and sat up..the

house whole..no flames! "Jeese!! Did I

become my evil alter ego, Wicked Wanda,

again and do all..this?" she wondered

out loud as she looked around her.

Chapter 3. Sinister New World

The Scarlet Witch shakily got to her

feet and went downstairs, astonished at

the strangely changed home. The only

sounds were those of nature and wildlife

outside the house..odd sounds. As Scarlet

walked into the living room at the bottom

of the stairs, the front door suddenly

opened of its own accord to reveal where

she was.

The wide-eyed heroine's jaw dropped as

as she walked slowly out the door and

stood, stunned, marveling at a world

that was obviously 'not Kansas anymore'.

"Ohhh myyy..what in heaven's name has

happened?" Scarlet quietly asked herself.

The land she saw before her was odd

to say the least. The sky was green and

filled with yellow clouds. The grass

and lower vegetation a deep crimson

red. The trees and higher plant life

were white and black.

The hot sun blazed in the sky, pink and

bright. The rocks were blue, and there

was a stream of beige water in the

distance; it flowed backwards. The tall,

orange and purple flowers in the field

swayed in the warm and gentle wind.

The buxom Avenger silently shook her

head..thinking she must be hallucinating.

"Oh dear..this can't be good," Scarlet

mumbled as she stood motionless on the

porch and viewed the odd landscape; she

could hear a faint humming sound in the

distance.

The Scarlet Witch quickly tried using

her Avengers' communicator, which she

took from a pouch in her cloak, but

only heard static. "Toto..where are

you boy?" Scarlet quipped and then

laughed softly at her humor.

An object suddenly rose over a stand of

nearby trees and homed in on the Scarlet

Witch. As she stood startled on the house's

front steps, the object zoomed quickly

toward her. The thing looked to be a grey

and brown fish, like a salmon, but the

object had wings; it's head faced Scarlet

as it closed in on her position.

The Scarlet Witch gasped loudly and

nervously raised her scepter..ready to

defend herself.

The flying fish stopped just in front

of Scarlet. It smiled at her, revealing

perfect, white, human teeth.

Then the strange fish suddenly turned

to the side and the crimson-clad heroine

was stunned to see that it had a video

monitor mounted into it's body.

The dazed Scarlet Witch slowly shook her

head again, and mumbled softy, "Ohh..my!

Where did the rabbit hole come from..when

did I fall down it?"

The fish's mouth abruptly opened and loud

static began coming out of it. The monitor

suddenly flickered to life and an image

soon filled the small screen before Scarlet.

It was The Hairdresser! He was clad in

a red leisure suit and his hair was pulled

back in a ponytail. "Hello my dear," his

voice sounded sarcastically from the fish's

mouth.

"YOU!!! I thought you had been banished

forever a few months ago...your a fool to

have brought me here!" the Scarlet Witch

stated contemptuously.

The Hairdresser yelled angrily, "I WAS

banished you bitch!! Your cursed hex

sent me to this insane world!!! I have

been losing my mind because of you!!"

"You deserved it you bastard..you raped

me..hell..you altered me, pierced me,

tortured me..your lucky I didn't finish

you..if I weren't a heroine..I would

have!" the young mutant/witch raged.

The Hairdresser bitterly mocked the

angry heroine, exclaiming, "BOO HOO

HOO! Cry me a freaking river!! Do you

know what it's been like in this place!?? I

have been here for the past five YEARS!!

And you are to blame!!! The passage of

time is different here!!"

"Five years???...Oh..oh my..well..still,

I was only defending myself," the Scarlet

Witch stammered in amazement.

"You thought you suffered before? Well

you will soon know what true suffering

is!! I have used this time to figure out

how this world runs and I am in control

here!! Welcome to Nowhere Land Avenger!

The unhappiest place not on earth!!" the

incensed villain shouted loudly.

The Scarlet Witch raged in anger, blushed

deep red, and sputtered, "You underestimate

me Hairdresser..you always have, you always

will..I'm coming for you fool..this time I will

make YOU to do what I DEMAND from

you..you will send me back..or..well you

don't want to know what I shall do!

The Hairdresser laughed and did a mock

scared tremble, "I am just so worried

about what you'll do to me!! Maybe I

should give up. NAH!! To your right is

grove of trees, a few miles beyond the

trees is where you'll find me, at my

home the Villa de Mousse. I'm waiting

for you girl. Come get me, if you make

it out of the field alive."

The Scarlet Witch fumed, screaming, "I'm

coming Hairdresser..count on it..you can't

stop an Avenger, after our first encounter,

I turned you to stone..after our second..I

banished you here..the next encounter WILL

be more of the same...surrender and I will

find a nice comfortable cell on earth for

you!"

"Bitch! You only leave this realm if I decide

to let you. Come and get me if you dare!"

the villain hissed angrily through gritted

teeth.

The Hairdresser's image faded from the

screen and was replace by a yellow smiley

face with the caption under it reading,

"Have a nice death!" The fish then turned

and looked at Scarlet and said in a strange,

mechanical voice, "This fish will self destruct

in 5 seconds."

The Scarlet Witch raced as fast as she could

away from the house and surrounding field.

Scarlet ran hard into the pretty flowers.

The mighty Avenger, destroyer of Ultron,

ran as hard as she could..fear evident on

her lovely face.

The fish started to vibrate and smoke

exited it's gills as it ticked down.

The Scarlet Witch gasped desperately for

breath as she dashed madly away.

Scarlet dove quickly to the ground..holding

her ears.

The fish exploded suddenly in a ball of

flame and blew the house apart. There

was a thunderous explosion and a sonic

boom as the explosion sent house bits

and flame high into the air. The force

of the blast swept swiftly over Scarlet,

covering her with residue from the fish,

complete with the appropriate smell.

The heroine coughed and gagged, wanting

to retch, mumbling to herself, "Ewww..what

an obnoxious smell."

Seeing the fallout from the house above

her, the gagging Scarlet Witch quickly

planted the base of her scepter on the

ground and energized it with her mutant

power. She was surrounded by a green

energy field which instantly transformed

into a protective force wall!

The shrapnel from the house and fish rained

down around Scarlet and bounced off the

shield. She looked up and was stunned to

see a huge crater left where the house had

stood, and blackened ground.

The Scarlet Witch quickly stood up, and

observed the destruction wide-eyed..she

wondered if perhaps the evil Hairdresser

hadn't finally gone over the edge..she

wondered if she would ever get home!

Scarlet silently shook her head and slowly

turned toward the humming sound..with a

grim look on her face..she started walking.

A slight smile formed on her pretty face as

she spat, "I'm coming Hairdresser..coming

for you!"

Chapter 4. When Pigs Fly

The Scarlet Witch smiled broadly at the

green sky and large flowers..though home

was far away..perhaps out of reach she was

strangely contented, "Okay Hairdresser,

you wanted me..you got me..I've beat you

before..I will again."

All seemed well in the field. It was calm

and nature was beautiful in this odd world.

Unfortunately, the poor heroine did not know

that she had been lulled into a false sense

of security, for there was something very

sinister about the field. As Scarlet walked

through the tall, pretty flowers, there was

a strange writhing noise behind her, like a

rustling of leaves as they hit the ground.

The lone Avenger should have known that

appearances could be decieving. This was

certainly not home..not earth, and most

definitely not New York City.

There were frogs chirping happily in the

trees as they preened their scaly feathers.

Birds hopped about on lily pads with their

strong hooved legs. Suddenly, in thedistance,

there was a loud grunting sound.

The Scarlet Witch smiled..still ignoring

the eerie feeling the strange world gave

her..she pushed on through the jungle

of plants..many with strange flowers,

large and varicolored.

The grunting noise got louder and

multiplied in number. Scarlet walked

quickly on, ignoring the sound, and

didn't see the five large, round flying

objects soaring out of the bright pink sun

behind her, homing in on her position.

The flying things were far off, but rapidly

nearing. As the Avenger walked quickly

past a stretch of the large flowers, it almost

looked like several of them turned in her

direction, as if staring at her.

The Scarlet Witch concentrated on the low

humming sound in the distance that likely

represented The Hairdresser's base, her

target..as she saw the absurdly strange

creatures..bird-like frogs..birds with

hooves..plants which almost seemed to

move..she felt like Alice..after the tumble

into Wonderland..the sights were awesome,

she felt a sense of excitement..it was a

new world to her..anything could occur!

Anything at all!!!

The alien world may have been exciting,

but it was also filled with untold dangers

and threats. The villainous Hairdresser had

set his trap well for the overconfident

heroine.

More flowers turned in Scarlet's direction,

seemingly watching her trek. The flowers

resembled sunflowers with larger petals.

The petals on the flowers seemed to shiver,

and became sharp and jagged looking.

The flying objects got closer to the foolish

Scarlet Witch. She was soon to learn the

looking glass can break into perilous shards

of glass.

The flying things grunted louder as they now

closed quickly in on the beautiful Avenger,

and then suddenly let out a loud, piercing,

braying noise, "WWWHEEE!! WWAA!"

The Scarlet Witch finally started to get

nervous at all the strange noises..she

pointed her scepter before her and began

to walk much faster.

The pink sun hid the flying creatures from

Scarlet's view. One of them soared down

and zipped just inches above the Scarlet Witch's

head. "WWWWAAAHHHH!!" it screeched.

"Whhhhaat the!?" the Scarlet Witch yelped

as she ducked instinctively. She decided

to run for a while..thinking 'maybe they

are big alien bees..don't know about

allergies to stings here!'

The strange creature zoomed rapidly back

up into the green sky and arced around to

make another pass at the running heroine.

Now the Avenger could clearly see the

flying thing that was trying to attack her.

It was large and round, with huge, wide

wings on its back; the wings were white

with long feathers.

The animal had four cloven hooves and

a snout! It made an awful snorting bray

as it zoomed at her. Poor Scarlet was

being attacked by....flying pigs!!!

The Scarlet Witch gasped loudly and said

softly, "Ohh my..not bees..mammals with

wings, and that screech like birds..ohh

my..Now I feel more like Dorothy."

The winged pig homed quickly in on the

fleeing heroine and just missed her head

as it's large jowls opened up and it

tried to sink razor teeth into her scalp!

"WWWEEHHH!!" it screeched angrily!

The Scarlet Witch dove quickly to the

ground at the last minute, and then

rolled nimbly back to her feet..like a

gymnast. "Enough of this!" she spat

angrily.

Scarlet, with a flourish, pointed her

scepter at one of the flying pig-like

creatures, energized it, and the creature

was caught in a green beam that changed

to a firestorm.

The firestorm surrounded the flying

pig and it shrieked and writhed in pain,

"AAARRROOO!!" The thing's wings caught

fire and it lost control of its flight.

As the animal headed for collision

with the ground, it passed over the

Avenger and raked it's front hooves at

her head and shoulders. The other pigs

honed in on the heroine as well.

Scarlet ducked and then quickly pointed

her scepter at the next closest flying

creature and energized it with her mutant

power, generating a beam of green energy

which suddenly transformed into an ice storm.

"Get away creatures..and live," she warned

the strange flying pigs, almost as if she

expected them to talk back.

The closest pig was caught in the ice

storm and crashed, frozen, to the ground

and splattered apart into pieces. The

other pigs saw the storm coming at them

and scattered. As if they were organized,

the pigs broke formation and adopted

different angles of attack.

One pig soared out of the green sky and

swooped swiftly down toward the scepter

wielding heroine; this one was smarter

than the first two and pulled suddenly

up at the last second.

However, as it flew off, the pig opened

it's mouth and expelled a small, round

object from within. The object landed

near the Scarlet Witch and rolled toward

her; something that looked like a red apple

had been dropped from the thing's mouth!

"Heeyy!! They seem intelligent!" Scarlet

yelled in surprise. She turned and ran.

As she ran swiftly away, the 'apple'

exploded with a bright flash of light and

sent food shrapnel whizzing at the heroine.

The other pigs adopted the tactic and

soon dive bombed at the young heroine,

trying to drop their fruity payloads on

her.

The Scarlet Witch eeped loudly as the

fruity shrapnel pieces hurt when they

struck her; the heroine ran quickly on

trying hard to dodge the fruit bombs as

best she could..occasionally tripping

over the vine-like plants that seemed to

become more and more common along the

path she took.

Scarlet wheeled and cast a hex at one of

the flying creatures and a green sphere-

like probability altering field closed

in and enveloped it from all sides...it

turned to stone and fell swiftly out of

the sky..narrowly missing her..thumping

down hard on the ground.

As the pigs kept her busy, the Scarlet

Witch did not notice the underbrush

seeming to move and slither around her as

more flowers turned and 'looked' at her.

The remaining pigs took turns diving at

Scarlet, dropping the apple bombs at

her. One of the apples landed just a

few feet from the heroine and exploded;

the force of the impact sent her reeling

forward. The Scarlet Witch yelled loudly

as she landed hard on her face and then

quickly rolled over onto her back.

The crimson-clad Avenger angrily pointed

her scepter at another flying creature and

energized it with her mutant power..this

time the green beam changed to a blinding

lightning bolt, frying yet another strange

flying farm animal. The corpse of the pig

dropped to the ground like a weight;

the body brown and roasted...ready to

serve!

The last two pigs flew side by side, one

spewed apple after apple at Scarlet,

bombing the ground and setting off

several explosions.

The second pig dove swiftly down on the

prone Scarlet Witch and snapped it's jaws

at her head. As it flew rapidly off, the

creature carried the heroine's crimson

tiara with it's attached silver disk in

it's mouth.

Scarlet yelled stridently out, "Nooo!"

Both pigs then turned and dove at her

yet again.

The Scarlet Witch cast a hex and a green

sphere-like probability altering field

closed in and enveloped one of the bombing

pigs from all sides...it disintegrated

into a cloud of ash.

The last of the flying pigs squealed in

anger, it's packmates lost and turned

into meat byproducts. The enraged animal

spit more apples at Scarlet and set out

to claw her with it's hooves.

The Scarlet Witch smashed her scepter

hard into the creature as it made its

pass at her. She was still lying on her

back on the ground..the scepter blow

cracked firmly against the large, swine

creature's body.

The pig shrilled in rage as the scepter

smacked against it's shin. It glared at

Scarlet and flashed teeth at her.

"That HURTS OY!!" it suddenly said in

a bad English accent and snapped at her

right arm.

The Scarlet Witch yelled angrily back at

the strange pig creature, "Then leave me

alone..I told you to get away and live."

The winged pig squealed loudly in rage,

"REVENGE!! NO BACON FOR HUMANS!!"

As the creature soared away, the Scarlet

Witch struggled to her feet. The boar swung

about and dove swiftly at the heroine in a

final kamikaze run, screeching in rage,

"DIE MEAT EATER!!"

Scarlet carefully pointed her scepter at

the pig and quickly energized it with her

mutant power, generating a beam of green

energy which suddenly transformed into..a

shotgun of small rocks..filling the air in

the flying pig's path.

The poor pig was hit in the face with the

'buckshot' and screeched in pain. It then

quickly flew away from the Scarlet Witch

and forgot about her all together.

The flying pig was hurt but would live

to reproduce; it flew until it found a mud

puddle where it could wallow in it's own

filth and recover. All seemed calmed again.

The Scarlet Witch took a deep breath and

slowly shook her head, "Ohh my..this is a

strange..and dangerous..world." She felt

badly for causing the demise of seemingly

intelligent creatures.

Scarlet thought the peril had passed and

she was safe. But was she? The flowers

in the field all seemed to be turning in

her direction; more and more vines slowly

slithered unseen along the ground.

The Scarlet Witch began walking rapidly

toward the exasperating humming sound

which represented the evil Hairdresser's

base..and her best chance of getting home.

End PART I.

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