Tales of Carrion Mansion - Episode 1.

{Authors note: This series has grown so much that I have now given it an umbrella title.}

Warning. Do not read if you are under 18 years of age. This is complete fantasy, it has never happened, is not happening now and will probably never happen. If you are a kid looking for baby-sitter tormenting ideas then run, do not walk overto your library.

Elvira Peterson and the Witch's kids.

By Skytower 

Part one: The Magic Feather

Elvira slowed her moped to a stop and looked, her mind taking in the scene. It was just before sunset. A chilly fall wind worked its way through her jacket. Freshly dead leaves, blown by the wind hit against the wrought iron fence. They made a scratching sound then lay still as the wind died. The house beyond the fence was semi-Victorian in style, a cross between the House of the Seven

Gables and the house they had used in the last Addams Family movie. It even had a widow's walk on the roof.

A little voice in her head told Elvira to turn around, a weekend spent in this place would be a weekend in hell. But if she turned around there would be no babysitting fee. No babysitting fee and there would be no hockey camp next summer. For a moment Elvira's ambition to play in the NHL combated with her common sense. Ambition won out and she edged her moped toward the gate. It opened with an ominous creak, stopping her short.

"Great," she said softly, "another haunted house." Then she saw an electric eye to her left and relaxed.

The front door had no bell, just two gargoyle head knockers. They stared at her as Elvira knocked. After a minute the door swung open, revealing a very tall crimson haired woman dressed in a clinging green gown. Elvira craned her neck, looking up and up. If this was Mrs. Carrion her mother had not been exaggerating. The woman

looked to be almost seven feet tall, with a slim figure and bright green eyes.

"I am Lilith Carrion, may I help you?"

"Uh, yea, I'm Elvira. I'm here to babysit for the weekend."

"Please come in." the woman said. Her thin, blood red lips turned down in what might have been a frown. The rest of the face was equally pleasant and frightening. Arched eyebrows, very thin, over an aquiline nose and all of it on the palest skin Elvira had ever seen. The woman gave the impression of a rose with the thorns highlighted rather than hidden.

"Are you sure you are Elvira Peterson? You look nothing like the picture my son showed me."

"Picture?"

Going over to an end table Mrs. Carrion took an 8x10 glossy and handed it too her. Elvira looked and wondered suddenly if this wasn't some sort of joke. The woman in the picture was tall with a large bouffant for a hairdo, and a black dress that barely covered any of her. The dress especially left a wide view of her cleavage. Elvira herself was only five feet four inches, with soft brown hair and a sort-of slim figure. The only thing she shared with the woman in the picture was their names.

"This is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark." she explained. "I'm Elvira Peterson. Same name, different person. Didn't my mother tell you?"

"I believe she tried too." Mrs. Carrion said, a distressed look coming over her face. "But the hair dryer made our talk difficult."

"Oh." Elvira said. Her mother worked in a beauty salon and distorted conversations were all too common. Once a high school senior had come to take her to the prom, even though she was only ten at the time. A dominatrix had shown up at her 12th birthday party.

"Mother where is Elvira?"

Elvira looked up to see a boy and a girl at the top of the stairs. Twins. The two of them looked a lot like their mother, red hair, the boys cut short and the girls going down to her waist.

Their faces were almond shaped, with the most striking feature dark green eyes. She was wearing a green dress that mimicked her mother, he was wearing a pair of jeans and an Elvira T-shirt. Each had the pale skin that seemed to run in the family.

"There has been a mistake Jeremy." Mrs. Carrion said. "The Elvira you have told me off is not the Elvira Mrs. Peterson recommended. This is Elvira Peterson, you shall have to make do with her."

"Her!" Jeremy and his sister came down the stairs. "Look at her mother, she barely has any bust at all!"

Instinctively Elvira looked down. She was wearing a gray long-sleeve Danskin top, and it did tend to make her breast look smaller. Beyond that she was wearing a grey and black skirt with a wide leather belt and grey boots.

And I bet he doesn't like those either, she thought.

"So what were you gonna do, stare at my chest all night?"

"Yea." the girl said, giggling.

"Helga." Mrs. Carrion said sharply, glancing at her watch. Now listen children, this may not have been what you wanted, but arrangements have been made. Now Elvira will watch you this weekend, and I want you to be civil. Is that understood?" Both children nodded, though Jeremy still gave Elvira a disagreeable look. "Here are the numbers where I can be reached." she handed Elvira a small book. "You will be staying in the guest room." She turned back to the children, gave each of them a quick kiss and was gone. For a moment the three of them looked at each other, then Elvira hoisted her backpack over her shoulder.

"Where's the guestroom?"

After putting her backpack in the guest room, a large room with a private bathroom, Elvira called her mother and told her she was safe. By that time Jeremy and Helga had vanished. Mrs. Carrion had made a list of things the children had to do, with times they had to do them. At six pm the list said dinner. Finding the kitchen, Elvira pulled some canned Ravioli out of the cabinet and nuked it in the microwave. Then she set out in search of Helga and Jeremy. The corridors of Carrion Mansion were tall, lit by hanging lamps that were either gas or badly wired electric. The lamps flickered, not so much lighting the hallways and passages as defining the shadows. Dark wood paneling helped, as did the Victorian red velvet wallpaper. As she walked Elvira had the feeling she should be carrying a candle and wearing a gauzy nightgown.

"Jeremy! Helga!" she called out, trying to shake the feeling. For a moment there was no response, then part of the wall opened beside her. Elvira's heart jumped for a moment before Helga stepped out. She had changed from the green dress into a NASA style jumpsuit. Her name was stenciled onto the right breast.

"Jeremy's in the lab."

"Thanks." Elvira said, looking at the wall. It had sealed itself and there was no trace of a seam or crack. "Guess there's a lot of secret passages in this place."

"Lots, and some of them are really dangerous."

"They are huh?" Elvira asked, recognizing the tone in Helga's voice. Time to scare the baby-sitter, she thought.

"Yea, especially the one that leads to the dungeon."

"Let me guess, that's where your last baby-sitter is."

"Nope, Jeremy turned him into a statue."

"A statue."

"Yep, we stuck him in the attic."

"So what's in the dungeon?"

"The baby-sitter before the baby-sitter who's in the attick. Ever since Jeremy cast a spell over her she likes it down there."

"So your brothers a warlock or something?"

"Yea, and he's a good one so you better be nice to him."

"Hey, he's nice to me, I'm nice to him." If he isn't nice to me he's toast, Elvira added silently.

"Would you like to see him?"

"Uh, yea. Dinners ready."

"Very well, come with me." she started to walk and Elvira followed.

"How come we aren't taking the secret passage?"

"Your too big for that one. We'll take this one."

They had stopped beside an old suit of armor. Elvira looked around, but saw no sign of a door.

"They really hide these things don't they." she mused, running her hand along the wall.

"You just have to know where to look." Helga said, taking hold of the armored suits sword she twisted it.

Instead of the wall opening Elvira felt the floor vanish beneath them. With a loud scream she and Helga vanished into the darkness.

They landed on a large foam mattress. Helga bounced off casually, leaving her baby-sitter gasping for air.

"You could have told me." Elvira muttered hoarsely. She looked around, impressed at the lab. It was a large room, filled with test tubes, beakers, and other equipment she couldn't hope to identify. The walls were lined with shelves filled with small bottles. Either the kid really was some sort of mad scientist, or Jeremy and Helga had gone through a lot of trouble to fool her. Jeremy, still dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, bent over a table halfway across the room. Getting up Elvira walked over to him.

"What do you do down here?"

"Things beyond your limited comprehension." the boy said, attaching some wires to a barbie doll that lay on the table.

"Playing with dolls? Yea, I'd never understand that."

"He's not playing." Helga said, handing her brother a small probe. "He's going to bring Lucrectia to life."

"Oh, ok. Well he can do that after we eat."

"Eat? I'm conducting a serious experiment and you want me to eat?"

"Yea," Elvira took a step closer to him, using her greater height to force him back a step, "I want you to eat. You got a problem with that?"

"Someday I'll be bigger than you, then you won't be so tough."

"Look me up in a few years then, for now lets eat."

"We might as well brother." Helga said, looking up from one of the dials. "It'll be tomorrow before the power levels are high enough."

"Irrelevant, I'm..."

"Getting ready for dinner." Elvira interrupted him, stepping between him and the doll.

"I suggest you be nicer to me," Jeremy looked her over, pausing at her chest, "I am no one to be trifled with."

"You keep staring at my breast you'll be no one at all." Elvira snapped. "Like it or not kid I'm in charge here."

"Very well." Jeremy said, though his tone made it clear the discussion was not over. He put a cloth over the doll. "I hope you've made something suitable."

"Ravioli?" Jeremy's tone of voice suggested that his baby-sitter was trying to poison him. "How dare you feed me that!"

"You don't like it." Elvira said, leaning back in her chair. This kid was pushing the envelope.

"Of course I don't." he pushed the plate away from the table and stood up. "Didn't mother give you any instructions at all?"

"Yea, dinner at 6, bed at 830, breakfast at six. No parties, no..."

"Bed at 830?" Helga looked up from her now empty plate. "But we'll miss the X-files."

"Sorry kid, that's what's on the schedule. Don't worry I'll tape it."

"I will not submit to this." Jeremy announced sitting down. "It is bad enough that mother put you in charge, but these rules..."

"Are the rules." Elvira interrupted, getting up and walking over to him. Again she towered over the boy scientist. "And if you don't follow them I'll make sure you go to bed long before 830! Got it?"

"No." he snarled, standing up on his chair. He looked down at her, his green eyes dark with anger. "I turned the last baby-sitter to stone, what am I going to do with you? A frog? A snail? Perhaps," the boy looked down at her, "a spider."

"Oh yea, you really know magic." Elvira climbed on the table and looked down at him. "Don't make me laugh!"

A light came into Jeremy's eye, a light that both startled and froze Elvira. Suddenly she couldn't move.

"Laughter it is then." Jeremy shouted. He jumped from the chair, caught hold of the chandelier and climbed from it into a trap door in the ceiling. As soon as he was gone Elvira found she could move again.

"Your gonna get it now." Helga said, her mouth full of food.

"Yea right. What's he gonna do?"

Helga made no reply, but her giggling sent a shiver down Elvira's back.

It was nearly an hour before Jeremy reappeared at the door. Elvira kept Helga at the table, fearing the girl would slip away as well. She had no desire to start looking for Jeremy. With all the passages in the old house it could take days. Elvira still wasn't sure why she hadn't grabbed the punk. Could he really know magic? Or had it been some sort of hypnosis? But kids had hypnotized her before and it hadn't felt like that.

"Your still here." Jeremy said, walking into the room. He was holding a mason jar with a white feather in it. "I applaud your courage if not your intelligence."

"Thank you Lex Luthor. Start eating kid, or I'll put you to bed right now."

"I don't think so." he smiled. "Penna Titilare Elvira!"

With that he opened the jar and the feather flew out as if it was wired. Elvira jumped out of her chair as it came toward her, only to have it swoop in like some hungry mosquito. It hit her stomach and started to tickle.

"Hey!" Elvira yelled, reaching for the feather. It slipped out of her hand like quicksilver and moved under her arms. "Stop it!" she yelled, starting to laugh. The feather didn't stop, it just kept moving. Elvira grabbed at it, but kept missing. And laughing. She tried to run away, but the feather dived under her skirt and tickled her legs. She tripped and fell. Rolling on the floor laughing she lifted her skirt trying to get at it. The feather evaded her and sneaked under her belt. Franticly she unhooked the belt, but the feather simply dove into her top. Laughing hysterically she pulled her top off. It was no use though. The feather just kept moving and tickling.

Suddenly it was over, and the feather hovered above her stomach. Elvira became aware of Helga's laughter, high-pitched girlish giggling, and Jeremy's Vincent Price like chuckles. She climbed to her feet and the feather followed her. It kept its position not a foot away from her belly button. She clutched her skirt to keep it up with one hand and tried to cover her breast with the other. The top had needed no bra, and her bare breast rose up and down. Elvira had always felt a little self conscious about her breast. They were a little small, and the areolas were extra large, with the tips of the nipples exaggerated knobs.

"I believe your power over us is no more." Jeremy said, walking over to the table and sitting down. "Now here is the way it is going to work; I will give commands, you will carry them out."

"Forget it!" Elvira snapped.

Instantly the feather was on her again. Above her laughter she could here Helga urging it on.

"When you call me ‘Master’, the tickling will stop." Jeremy announced.

Elvira tried to run but the feather tickled her and she lost the grip on her skirt. It fell and tangled around her legs, tripping her. She kicked it off and scrambled to her feet.

All the time the feather was relentless, ready for any opening and moving at lightning speed.

Elvira ran toward the door. It shut in her face. She made a run at Jeremy but the feather caught and tickled her until she tripped, landing at his feet. Rolling under the table Elvira grabbed the tablecloth and pulled, trying to cover her self and block the feather. She got a few seconds of relief before the feather squirmed under the sheet. Again she tried to run, only to be tripped by Helga.

With a yell of glee the girl grabbed Elvira's legs and twisted them, forcing her on her stomach. Then she sat on the back of Elvira's knees. Elvira started to rise, but the feather attacked her sides again, while Helga started to tickle her feet. In vain she squirmed and twisted, all the while laughing hysterically.

Finally she was too weak from laughing to even try and push the feather away.

"Stop!" she moaned. "Please!"

"Stop what?" Helga demanded.

"Master." Elvira moaned. The feather and the girl stopped and she caught her breath.

"Very good." Jeremy said sagely. Helga jumped up and danced around laughing. "Now you shall go into the kitchen and prepare me a proper meal. You will find a list of my choosing on the refrigerator. Stop." Jeremy commanded as

Elvira reached for her cloths. "In punishment for your defiance you will not wear anything but what you have on now."

The battle had left her with only her boots and a pair of brown underwear.

"Pervert." Elvira whispered. Again the feather

attacked and it kept on attacking until she cried out an apology. Then it followed her into the kitchen.

"You’ve been watching the old Flash

Gordon serials again haven’t you?" Elvira heard Helga ask. "I can hear Ming The Merciless in your voice."

"He had style." Jeremy said.

Once in the kitchen Elvira tried to come to terms with what was going on. A magic feather had attacked her.

Impossible, she told herself.

Then what happened, herself asked.

She looked at the feather, hovering a few feet away.

"I was attacked by a magic feather." Elvira admitted. And Helga, she added silently. As a baby-sitter Elvira had learned to handle a lot of strange situations. She had after all babysitted for some of the freakiest families around. In her time Elvira had been tied up, hypnotized and she'd been tickled before, though rarely. Elvira had a love/hate relationship with tickling, she loved to have it done in the right time and place, and she loved doing it, in the right time and place. But outside of that time and place it was her one weak spot. Bud and Kelly had found it the last time she had babysat them, and it had been sheer torture. But nothing, not even Bud and Kelly had prepared her for this. Locks she could pick, ropes she could squirm out of, but how could she fight magic?

Jeremy's preferred food was a French dish that Elvira couldn't even pronounce, but at least the instructions were clear. Suddenly she tried slicing the feather with a knife, but she missed and once more was tickled. Falling to the floor Elvira laughed hysterically until Jeremy's voice came from nowhere.

"Do not try that again."

The feather retreated and Elvira went back to making the meal. Not only could she hear Helga's laughter, but Elvira could have sworn the feather was laughing at her as well.

The meal set, Elvira wheeled it into the dining room and placed the plate in front of Jeremy. He was sipping a glass of wine.

"Can I get dressed now?"

"No." Jeremy said. "Your not much to look at but you are a nice diversion. Just stand there and be silent."

A flash bulb startled her. As the stars cleared Elvira looked up to see Helga watching the Polaroid fade into existence.

Great, she thought, another kid with a picture of me topless. It had happened before, but usually with kids older than this. They were usually murder to get back, and that was from normal kids.

"Wine." Jeremy ordered.

Sighing Elvira picked up the bottle and filled the glass. She started to hand it to him and then stopped.

"What are you waiting for?" Jeremy demanded.

"Nothing." Elvira said, pouring the contents of the glass over the feather. It wilted instantly and fell to the floor.

"No!" Jeremy screamed. "Run Helga!"

He pulled the handle of his chair and both chair and boy vanished into the floor. Helga made a run for the door, but Elvira launched herself over the table and tackled the girl. They wrestled and Elvira came out on top. Pinning the girl

onto her stomach the baby-sitter pulled off Helga's sneakers.

"So you like to laugh huh?" The babysitter growled.

[It's not over yet, soon Elvira will learn it's not a good idea to get a junior warlock/mad scientist mad, and even less of a good idea to tickle his sister.]