Tales From The Locker Room

Midnight

by Skytower

There are times your lucky and times you just think your lucky. This was one of those times. The lab was a wreck, I had a lot of bruises and Wonder Woman was on the floor unconscious. It hadn't been a good night.

I know, I can hear you now saying "hey, you won, WW's out and prime for the taking, what are you so upset about?"

Well to begin with I don't like fighting heroines. I'm a coward remember? Sure I can beat most of them, as a group they aren't too bright, but they are incredibly lucky. How I got into this current mess is an example of that.

It was midnight in the Justice League locker room. I was there as usual hiding in a Mira Nova doll (my Buzz Lightyear suit was in decontamination after a battle with Skunk Girl, a wanna-be heroine whose name says it all) and also as usual was bored out of my mind. Batgirl, Wonder Woman and Catwoman had started out the night, and I had hopped to get some dirt on their mutual love interest, Robin, Superman ,and Batman. When these three get naked in a hot tub you can almost count on sex talk. But then Mary Marvel showed up. Mary Marvel doesn't even know what sex is, and ,aside from supervillains, no one wants to tell her. So she settled in (naked at least, Wonder Woman doesn't allow clothing of any type in the hot tub) and the quilting bee began.

An hour later it was midnight, and I had four meatloaf recipes. Terrific. But then things started to heat up when Batgirl leaned over and started to nibble Mary's breast. Now Mary has a nice pair, small but firm and with brown nipples, but Batgirl has always been a bit too polite to just go at them. What was more puzzling was that Mary didn't scream, she just sighed and sank into the water a bit. She was stopped by Catwoman going at her pussy while Wonder Woman had decided to just go it alone and was fingering herself.

Well, ok, I was dreaming. Or there was a supervillain about. It turned out to be the later. I knew the guy actually--I had sold him his equipment. Of course while his credit card said he was Bill Gates (I don't ask for ID, I trust the villains I'm dealing with to be honest, and besides, lets face it, is there any bigger crook than a credit card company?) the name splashed across his chest was "Dr. Erecto!" including the exclamation point. Talk about insecurity.

He stepped out from behind the stealth screen and it dropped, revealing a machine hooked into their water system. He stood for a minute and then gave a pathetic laugh. I mean it, Jerry Lewis could have had a better villain laugh. The guy didn't much look the part either. He was about five feet tall, pot-bellied, and bald. He was wearing a black cape and a sash with the Dr.Erecto! name on it and nothing else. And he was erect. Give him this, the penis was big. It didn't matter what he looked like of course, after being in water for an hour that had my special aphrodisiac additive the girls would have gone after a stone statue if it had a penis. Wonder Woman pulled the guy into the water and suddenly it was a pile on. I doubted he had as many limbs as he was going to need, but that wasn't my problem. My problem was the extended service plan.

You see when I sell stuff, I sell as is, unless you buy the extended service plan. If you buy the plan the stuff doesn't break or blow up. It's a little trick I got from some big American corporations. But even though he wasn't even using his own money, Bill had refused the extended service plan. Talk about cheap.

So, the water additive additor machine he was using was going to blow up in about five minutes. Which meant I had five minutes to get out of there. I was determined not to save the heroines this time, I had been doing too much of that over the past few years. Still I wasn't going to leave empty handed. On the pegs at the far wall hung Batgirl's, Catwoman's, and Wonder Woman's costumes. Those would fetch a nice price. I stumbled across the room tripping over a few things in the process (the Mira doll suit was new and I'm not used to walking with breasts [and to be honest I made the Mira suit's breasts at least 2 cup sizes too large], they threw me off balance) and grabbed the suits. Then I heard someone say "Oh My goodness gracious!" but at that point I teleported out of there.

The next day I expected big headlines about the Watch Tower exploding, but the only thing in the paper was a paragraph about some guy being detained. The Watch Tower was still there. Then I remembered all the stumbling around I did. One of the things I had stumbled over was the power cord to the additor machine. I must have pulled the plug and that's why Mary Marvel said "Oh My goodness gracious!". So on the upside the heroines were safe and I had their costumes. On the downside the heroines were safe and I had their costumes. Having Batgirl's or Catwomans' costume wasn't a problem, they can get new ones. But, as well as WW's costume, I had her magic belt and golden lasso. Without the belt Wonder Woman is regular strength and the lasso is one of a kind. So number one on the Justice League priority list was to find the guy who had them and get him. Me.

For a confirmed coward (I wouldn't go so far as to say I've won awards, but if they gave out an award for being a coward I'd be in the running) this was not a good situation. They'd find me sooner or later, I mean they got Batman ,and if he can't find evidence then they can call in any one of a dozen mystics who could cast spells to find the lasso. I couldn't destroy it, but I couldn't just give it back either. They'd want to know how I got and I needed to be able to keep sneaking into the JL locker room so I could get stories to sell to the Enquirer. So I decided to sell the stuff back to them.

First I ditched the Mira suit, making a note to redesign it when I got the chance, then I got into my orc suit. The orc suit is 8 feet tall and green with tusks and horns and a really big green penis with yellow dots (and yes that is how they really look, I spent 25 years in an orc prison and the guards rapped many an elven prisoner so I know what they look like) that was barely covered by a loin cloth. The suit also wore padded leather and spikes and generally looked like every tax collector I'd ever known. Once I got into the suit and had it up and running I set a tracer scrambler into operation and called the Watch Tower.

"Justice League Watchtower, Mary Marvel speaking." Mary said appearing on the screen. She didn't look any the worse for her sexual adventures the night before.

"I have Wonder Woman's lasso, belt, and costume." I growled. "I would speak to her you weak and ugly girl."

Ok, so she wasn't weak or ugly, but have you ever met an orc who gave out compliments?

"Wait one minute please." Mary said as polite as ever. She's incredible, I've seen her being tortured and still be as polite as if she is at a tea party. The screen went blank for a minute and the light on the scrambler came on. Mary was polite but she wasn't dumb.

"Who are you?" Wonder Woman demanded when the screen came back on. I almost fell out of the suit laughing. She was wearing a Supergirl costume! And it was at least a size and a half too small!

"Me Grunt-Grunt." I growled, grunted, and spit. "Me got your costume and pretty belt. Me will trade."

"For what?"

"One ton raw Femiumn ore."

As a slight side note, the bracelets Wonder Woman wears are made of a rare metal that the amazons call "Femiumn" (which proves they got some real man-hating issue's to deal with. I mean come one, Femiumn? Why not just call it "We hate men and this metal is strong so it must be a female metal" But what ever they called it the stuff was very valuable.

"No." she said.

"Ok. Me sell to Mars." I said and cut the connection. The secret to haggling is to make the buyer scared not only that they won't get what you have, but that someone they don't like will. Mars was the god of war and as big a chiseler as you'll ever meet. He never pays anyone. I gave it an hour and called them again.

"Mars not home." I said. "Him at big party on Olympus. Me make offer again."

"Where can we make the exchange." Wonder Woman demanded. She was wearing a robe now. I guess the Supergirl suit didn't survive when she took a heavy breath.

"In center of Death Valley." I said. "Noon."

"How can I trust you?"

"Me honest orc." I said. "You come alone, no tricks."

I cut the connection then and teleported out to the center of Death Valley. Death Valley is full of miles and miles of miles and miles. Even at the speed Superman goes I'd spot him coming and get out of there. Also it was cloudless, which meant they would spot me by satellite thus avoiding any co-ordinate mix-up problems. I once spent a week with a very whinny, annoying princess waiting for the hero to show up only to find I was waiting on top of the wrong mountain. Man was I spanked after that!

After a few hours of waiting ,one of the Justice League super planes comes by, circles me and then lands about fifty feet away. They got nice looking planes, silver and sleek and with the big JL logo on tails. The rear cargo door opens and Wonder Woman walks out pushing an anti-grav loader filled with dull grey rocks. She set the thing down under the plane and walked over to me all defiant like. It would have been a better act if she weren't wearing a flowered pattern dress that just had to belong to Mary Marvel. Honestly, didn't they have spare cloths up there? It was too small and in the hot desert sun transparent.

"There is the ore." She said. "Where is my costume?"

"Here." I said holding up a FoodKing shopping bag (it was all I had to put it in). With a grunt for show I threw the bag about a football field away.

"Why did you do that?" she demanded.

"Me no trust you." I said walking past her and toward the ore. I was toying with the idea of grabbing the plane too. In the rear scanners I watched as WW hotfooted it to her costume, but I wasn't worried. I'd check the ore for a tracer and teleport it out of there before she could struggle into her suit.

Or at least that was my plan. Soon as I got two feet away from the ore I heard the word "Shazzan" and suddenly a lightning bolt threw me flat. When I started to get up Mary Marvel punched me down again.

HEROINES! I mean they talk about trust and good and honesty and all that, and what do they do? They set a trap for you.

I set the orc suit to auto-battle Mary while I directed the scanners toward the ore. I didn't see any tracers in the ore or the anti-grav unit, but I did see Wonder Woman running toward us. I build good suits but not that good.

I launched my hand into the air (you can pick up a lot by watching Japanese Giant Robot cartoons) and it got a good hold on Mary's throat. While she was dealing with that, I dove toward the ore and got a good grip on it. I teleported it and me out of there but it was a split second too late. Wonder Woman had a hold of the orc suit's leg and came along for the ride.

We materialized in my lab and Wonder Woman wasted no time in trying to defeat the orc. I left the suit on auto battle mode, selected Wonder Woman from the opponent menu and let them fight while I checked the alarm systems. Sure enough the hiding of Mary Marvel in the ore hadn't been the only trick. Though there were no tracers in the ore, a few of the samples had been coated with radiation. I turned on the labs shields but it was too late, they had a lock on my position. This was not going well. I set the labs defenses to auto and left them to deal with the JL. I had to turn my attention back to Wonder Woman.

When I put the suit into auto battle mode and chose her as the chief opponent the suit battled Wonder Woman as I would have, (if I wasn't a coward that is). First it tore off the top part of her suit, then it ripped the bottom half using any spare wreckage it could find, and third it raped her. Step one had gone ok, as had step two. But by then the suit was suffering some serious damage. Circuts were going off like popcorn. I was flat on my back while she sat on my chest and threw punch after punch at the orc suits head. Luckily I was in the chest so I was safe.

Taking manual control, I shot the remaining arm up and got a death grip on her right breast. While she gasped in pain I shot the legs of the suit out at an angle that no living orc could have handled. Both legs went straight out, forcing her legs apart. At the same time I bear hugged her and sat up. The result was the Wonder Woman slid down the suit's chest and landed in its lap, and the penis was waiting. Her eyes went wide as it pushed into her pussy and her mouth opened.

So far so good. I head butted her and then used what was left of the arms to really apply the pressure to the bear hug. She was fighting it, but I was slowly forcing the air out of her lungs, and the movement of the penis inside her (I built a high powered vibrator into it for just such an occasion) was really distracting.

Just when I thought I had her, she gave out this really loud shriek, busted free of my grip and began to take the suit apart piece by piece. I don't have to tell you which piece went first. When she tore the suit's head off I ejected.

My chair shot out of the suit until it got near the ceiling and then started to fall. The parachute opened and I floated softly down into Wonder Woman's hand. She wasn't happy to see me.

"Who are you?" she asked, and I'm not sure if she was more angry or surprised.

"Skytower T. Gnome." I said holding out my hand. "Pleased to meet you."

Wonder Woman, being a heroine and not too bright, fell for it and took my hand. In my hand was a small shrinker that looked like a joybuzzer. I had made it for the Joker, but he got caught and never picked it up. So when Wonder Woman took my hand, it activated and down we went.

I recovered first, I'm used to falling, she wasn't used to shrinking. While she was getting her bearings I pounded her in the stomach until she doubled over and then hit her in the back of the head. She went down, naked and out for the moment. I picked her up, took her over to a containment cage, put her back to full size and then locked her in. Maybe I should have kept her shrunk, but the cage was for full size heroines, not 12inch tall ones. Besides, naked, Wonder Woman was just another naked woman.

I walked over to the control panel and saw the Justice League, all of them, pounding away at my defenses. Didn't these people have jobs to go to or something? I had put my lab in an abandoned military base inside a mountain in South Dakota. Nice neighborhood, low rent, easily defensible. From an army anyway. I had about twenty five minutes at most before they battered their way inside.

Great, I had to move again. Oh well.

I started teleporting stuff to the other abandoned military base I had chosen (they litter the Midwest these bases) and while I was doing that Wonder Woman woke up.

"What part of 'no tricks' didn't you understand?" I asked as I packed up my favorite pair of manacles.

"I do not bargain with criminals." Wonder Woman said standing up all imperious like. It would have been more convincing if she was wearing clothes.

"You couldn't have mentioned that while we were talking? We could have avoided all this."

"It would be better for you to surrender now."

"This from the naked chick in the cage."

"How did you get my costume?"

"I sold Dr.Erecto that machine he used, it was part of the payment."

"You sold him that abomination?" she was actually mad enough to leap at the cage.

"I gotta eat you know. It's not like I could have sold it to you. Besides from what I hear you had some fun."

"You're an evil little man."

"No, I'm a gnome, and I like to think of myself as mildly naughty at worst. Come on, the skimpy suit, the bondage thing with the lasso, you just scream that you want to be forced into sex."

"You will face justice for your crimes."

At this point Superman got in a lucky shot and killed the power. It was like he was listening to her. It was only off for a moment, but the energy cage shut down and Wonder Woman leapt out. She was fast too--ran over and grabbed me before I had a chance even to teleport away. Trouble for her was that I still had my hands free. I reached into my top pocket and pulled out a tranquilizer patch. This is a small patch with a powerfull sleeping drug on it. It can soak through skin, cloth, and even some types of metal. She had about two seconds before she crumpled to the floor. Unfortunately on top of me.

You know I've always liked big breasts, but this was the first time they had really saved me. I landed between them when she fell. After that it was simply a matter of squirming my way out from underneath her.

The delay had been costly though. The defenses were down, Mary Marvel and SuperGirl were coming through one wall, Superman and Batman through the other. At least I had gotten all my stuff away. I set the self destruct for ten minutes, scribbled off a quick note on where I'd leave the lasso (NO WAY was I going through this again), stuck that in Wonder Woman's pussy so she'd find it, grabbed her belt and lasso and teleported myself out of there.

"He left the lasso where?" SuperGirl asked.

I was back in the locker room, back in my Buzz Lightyear suit. Wonder Woman was in the hot tub with SuperGirl. Only a night had gone by and the amazon was still steaming. Wonder Woman had been soaking in the hot tub for an hour when SuperGirl joined her.

"Under Hugh Hefner's pillow in the Playboy Mansion." Wonder Woman said. "He got away with the ore too."

"A 12inch tall guy did this?" SuperGirl asked, in a tone of voice that I must say flattered me. "How come we've never heard of him before?"

"I don't know. But according to Batman, this Skytower has been behind many of the villains we have faced, selling them equipment."

"And he was really 12 inches tall? And he captured you and took away your costume?"

"Yes he did." Wonder Woman said in a voice of strained patience. "Make no mistake about it SuperGirl, size does not matter (she actually said that)--this is an evil and powerful little man."

Who has to support himself by hanging around locker rooms at night. The woman's ego was amazing. She just couldn't take the fact that a non-supervillain guy like me could take her.

"What do you think he will do with the ore?"

"I do not think, I know he will use it to make some evil weapon."

Actually I'd sold the ore on the black market already. Some enemy of SuperGirl's needed it to make some super strong chains.

"12 inches tall." SuperGirl said again. "Was he cute, like a pixie?"

"He was not unpleasing." Wonder Woman said. She looked at SuperGirl. "Just as you are not unpleasing."

Suddenly she was all over SuperGirl, cupping her breasts and kissing her.

"Hey!" SuperGirl protest holding her back. "Didn't they clean this thing out!"

Well they had, but I had spiked it again when I saw Wonder Woman going through a workout. As SuperGirl tried to keep the amazon at bay, I sat back and smiled.

When I say no tricks, I mean no tricks.

End...

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