Wednesday Afternoon

In The

Justice League Locker Room

by Skytower

With apologies to Francis Bacon, some are born to villainy, others have villainy thrust upon them. That's me, the second part of the sentence. I never really started out to be a villain. I never really started out to be anything really. For me happiness is something to tinker with, a slice of pizza, and a TV. Sure I'd admit that what I tinker with is usually a torture machine, and that thanks to me at least a hundred heroines have gone down to defeat, turned into slaves, strippers, sex slaves, sex maids, sex dentist, sex lawyers... well you get the idea, and my idea of quality entertainment is "Godzilla eats the Power Rangers". But I'm a lackey...as long as I'm working for a villain, I'm not at fault. Not that any of the heroines will ever agree with me on this. In fact, a lot of them think I'm actually dangerous. Go figure.

After my latest bit of work I decided to see what some heroines were up too. They'd had a bad time of it in their last adventure, and I was hoping there would be no hard feelings. To make sure I zapped myself into the Justice League locker room (forget the conference rooms, the real talk is in the locker room) and settled down to listen. I hide in a box of toys that were put in the corner and forgotten about. I just sit inside one of the dolls (in this case the Mira Nova doll) and listen.

It was Wednesday morning and SuperGirl, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl and BatGirl were laying on the medical tables being tended too by Mary Marvel. They were all naked (well Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl were wearing their gold belts, but nothing else), which would usually make Mary blush, but they were also heavily scratched up so I guess that over-road her blush instinct.

"I swear by Hera I shall hunt him down." Wonder Woman growled as Mary applied an ointment between her legs. Wonder Woman didn't have any more pubic hair, just a big red spot and Mary applied the stuff carefully.

"I told you he was dangerous." SuperGirl said.

"Amazing that such a little man could hurt us so." WonderGirl said. "What powers had he that he could overcome us?"

"He hides in the shadows, the little roach." BatGirl said. "I say we find him and squash him."

A chorus of agreement met her determination and I began to wonder just what the hell had gone wrong. Actually I knew what had gone wrong, but why was I getting the blame? Hercules was the one who raped them and he was working for Lloth the spider god...why pick on me? All I did was drug them into helplessness.

"He was very mean." Mary Marvel said as she spread the ointment all over Wonder Woman's breasts.

Sigh... Well, might as well tell what happened. It was a few months back that I had subcontracted for StarFire, an old foe of SuperGirl's who had just gotten out of prison. Things did not go well and StarFire and SuperGirl ended up at an old military base that I was renovating into a supervillains hideout. StarFire lost the battle with SuperGirl (of course, she was a pretty lame villainess), but SuperGirl not only saw me but tried to fight me. She lost and got introduced to a Godzilla sex bot that I was working on. The programming on the thing wasn't finished yet, so when it was going down on her the simulated atomic breath was triggered. You'd think she'd have thanked me for that, (she still has the sex bot by the way), but no, suddenly I'm: "Skytower a perverted villain who must be stopped!" So for the next few months every time I try to sell some weaponry or steal some stuff she turns up, ready to pummel me. Here I am 12 inches tall, essentially harmless, and she's treating me like Lex Luthor! For the most part I just ran, some of the time I stripped her naked and ran (you'd be amazed how few heroines are hot for a chase when they've been stripped. Some will chase you anyway, in fact some like it better that way, but most will scream and try to cover themselves), once or twice I left her tied up and stripped and ran (SuperGirl costumes fetch a good price on evil ebay) and ok, I'll admit that leaving her stripped, naked and helpless in the street gangs hideout was a little not-so-nice of me, but hey she got infree in a few days. Still if she kept bothering me I was going to go broke

I got a call from Herc while I was recovering from the SuperGirl/street gang thing. He had a deal for me. He'd found out about Mary Marvel's superheroine campfire group and wanted my help to subdue them all so he could have his way with them. I put him on hold for a sec and did a quick background check. The Herc from my old universe (the one controlled by Wicked Wanda) was a noble hero. Not so this one. Hercules was on the outs with Olympus after getting beaten by Wonder Woman. I didn't get the whole story, but it seems that he made some sort of bet with Ares and after loosing to Wonder Woman in battle Herc had to give Ares Zeus's crown or something. Zeus was really hot and Hercules was blaming Wonder Woman for not letting him win. He'd decided to prove that he was a real man and rape Wonder Woman and a bunch of other heroines. All I had to do was make sure they wouldn't fight back. (As a point of trivia this is how he raped Wonder Woman's mother) He'd then step in and show Wonder Woman and the rest that he was a Big Man. (If anyone can find logic in that please let me know) I laid out a simple deal, he could have Wonder Woman and any of the other heroines on Mary Marvel's camp out, I'd see to it that they were helpless, in return I'd get a few uninterrupted moments with SuperGirl and Wonder Woman's magic lasso. It seemed the best way to get her off my back was to make sure she didn't remember me. It had worked with CatWoman after all.

Mary holds her annual camp out in deep in the forest of EverGreen, a small pocket dimension that was created for her by the Wizard who gives the marvels their powers (talk about extravagant gifts!). There is a lake, a couple of cabins and a kitchen. If you've ever seen any movie of any summer camp you have an idea of what it looks like. The heroines all felt safe there since no one had ever been able to find the place. But then no one had stuffed himself or herself into BatGirl's utility belt either (as a side point of interest to all you villains out there, in a pocket of her belt she carries condoms). They arrived in costume and started to settle in. I snuck out of BatGirl's belt and looked around myself. It was a beautiful place, clean air, friendly animals, think Disney without parades.

Anyway they all switched to civilian clothing and just hung out for most of the afternoon. There was a little hint of fun when Wonder Girl decided to go skinny-dipping but Mary put a stop to that.

That night they sat around a fire and sang old camp songs and told each other scary stories. What's worse they were all clothed. I had seldom been so bored. But listening to them I found what I had been looking for. Mary, it seemed, was going to make chocolate chip cookies the next morning.

As weapons go, chocolate chip cookies are vastly underrated. They aren't as powerful as cotton candy, but they are more dangerous than Rice Crispy treats.

That night as the heroines slept (BatGirl and SuperGirl in the same bed until Mary made them split up, I think they did it too tease her), I was hard at work baking my own brand of chocolate chip cookies. Just to be sure they worked I took a bit of a time out and tested them on a few heroines in the Superheroines in Distress Bar. From what I understand the cookies made Vampirella happy for a few hours at least. (not that she ever thanked me)

The next day I hid in the oven and as Mary put her chips in, I substituted my own before she took them out. At dinner I watched all of them pig out (literally, these gals can eat!) and while they were doing that I set up the inter-dimensional beacon.

"I feel strange." Mary said as the drug took hold of her. "My tummy hurts."

She staggered off in the direction of the bathrooms and I wondered if I had gotten the recipe wrong.

"Who are you?" BatGirl suddenly asked SuperGirl.

"I don't know, who are you?" BatGirl replied.

"Why are we here?" Wonder Girl asked.

"I can't remember." Wonder Woman said.

"You look nice." SuperGirl said to BatGirl.

"So do you." BatGirl said. She leaned over and they kissed.

"Wait, don't I look nice?" Wonder Woman asked.

"Of course you do my dear." Hercules said walking into the clearing. He was naked and the effect on the heroines was instant lust. Of course Herc can take some credit for that, he's over six feet tall and got muscles on muscles, but the thing that was really driving them was the combination aphrodisiac and amnesia drugs I had spiked the cookies with. Hell at that point even I might have been enough to set them off.

"Crawl to me my slaves." Herc said stepping more toward them. Right there I got my first good look at him and realized that things were about to go bad. He was naked alright, but he was also wearing what looked like a spider shaped hat. But it wasn't a hat. It was a real, large spider and there were a dozen more of them crawling over his body.

Talk about a mood breaker. But the heroines were so filled up with drugs that it didn't matter. SuperGirl and BatGirl were on the table wrapped up in themselves while Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl were crawling in the dirt and fighting each other to get to him.

"Your work is done Skytower." Hercules laughed. He pointed to a large chest of gold at the other edge of the clearing. "You have my thanks and the thanks of Lloth."

"Your welcome." I said, teleporting the gold to my place. "Mary Marvel is somewhere in the bathrooms."

"Find her and bring her to us." He said. Wonder Woman had reached him by then and was kissing his toes.

I should have just gotten up and left, but obeying villains is a bit of a habit with me. Besides Herc was going to be busy for a while.

Mary was in one of the bathrooms rinsing her mouth out. She looked better and I realized that she'd been throwing up. Well my drugs can have that effect on some people. The downside (from my point of view) is that none of the drugs got into her system. So when Mary looked up and saw me in the doorway I was in trouble.

"Your Skytower." Mary said taking a step toward me. "SuperGirl told me about you."

"Hi." I said.

"You're a villain!" Mary gasped. (She actually gasped, like I was someone to be scared of). "Shaz..."

She only got part of the word "Shazzam" out of her mouth. When Mary says that word a bolt of lightning flashes down and turns her into the ultra-powerful Mary Marvel. I didn't want that to happen so I pulled out my trusty squirt gun and shot a stream of elasto-goop into her mouth. Elasto-goop is basically bubblegum with super-powerful plastic adhesive added in. It expands and dries in seconds and I've found it handy as an instant gag. Mary put her hand to her mouth to pull the stuff out and I shot more of it, sticking her hands to her face.

She thrashed around a bit trying to get herself unstuck and when that didn't work she charged toward me. I shot some of the goop onto the floor in front of her and she slipped in it for a second until it solidified. Then she was stuck.

So Mary was out of things for a while. Her hands were stuck to her face, he feet were stuck to the floor and she was gagged. While she was struggling I went to tell Herc.

I gotta tell you, seeing Herc and the women was an icky sight. Of course we are talking about beautiful women and a handsome guy, but we're also talking large spiders. Each of the heroines was on the ground being whipped all over their bodies by spiders who were using glowing whips. Wonder Woman had Herculess's penis in her mouth while a couple of spiders were spanking her.

"Mary didn't get any of the drugs." I said. "She's tied up in the bathroom."

"My thanks gnome." Hercules said. He had a big smile on his face.

"What's with the spiders?"

"Lloth desires a new realm to control." Hercules said. "Through pain shall these women be made ready and then by my seed shall Lloth fill their wombs. Their children shall consume their bodies and souls and emerge with their powers, ready to conquer this world."

"No kidding?"

"Aye, and in her last moments of life Wonder Woman shall know that it was Hercules who defeated her!"

Actually it was me that did most of the work and Lloth who'd finish up, Herc was nothing but a middle man, but I didn't want to mention that right then.

"Fetch me back the pure one." Hercules said. "Drugged or not she is helpless as long as she can not speak, and she will not speak with little Hercules in her mouth!"

What a looser, I thought as I walked back into the bathroom. Lets face it when you start naming your own body parts you really need to get some help. Still the basic plan was sound. Lloth was a dark god. She ruled a group of dark elves that called themselves "drow". She was a nasty treacherous god and normally I stayed away from her, so that was why she had tricked Hercules into subbing for her. The amazing thing was that Hercules thought he was going to live through the deal. To Lloth treachery is not so much a way of life as it is a high ideal to be always sought for.

Either way I'd gotten paid so it wasn't my concern. I walked in on Mary who was sitting on the floor hitting her bare feet against something. I had to give her credit, she'd pulled her feet out of her boots. Still I also had to give her to Herc so I walked over and slapped a tranquilizer patch onto her leg. She fell asleep and I was just about to grow up a bit and drag her when a thunderbolt struck me down.

"HOW DARE YOU!"

In my entire life no conversation that has ever started with the phrase "How dare you!" has turned out very well for me.

I turned and saw two great looking ladies. One had black hair and one was a blonde and they were both built. They were also both angry. The blonde pointed a finger at me and I was in a world of hurt for a few minutes.

"Do you know what you've done?" the black haired one demanded.

"Suffered a lot of pain?" I asked not bothering to get up. "Not a bad shot for a love goddess." I recognized them now, the black haired one was Athena, goddess of Wisdom and the blonde was Aphrodite, goddess of love.

"You know who we are and still you do not cringe before us?" Aphrodite asked.

"I'd have cringed if you gave me the chance." I said standing up. "What are you two doing here anyway?"

"We were summoned by Mary's prayers." Athena said. "When she smashed the sacred seal."

"You're kidding? She had a sacred seal in the bathroom?"

Aphrodite pointed at me again but Athena held her back.

"Little worm do you not realize who we are? What danger you are in?"

"Yes to both questions, but with all due respect I've seen goddesses like you two reduced to kitchen maids and worse. The awe sort of wore off after the Athena from the last dimension I lived in begged Wicked Wanda to kill her. I know the rules, you can kill me, you can make me suffer, but that's about it."

"It will be enough." Aphrodite said starting to point again. "Enough to make you suffer for your crimes."

"What? You mean what Hercules and Lloth are doing? Why don't you blast them?"

"The gods don't war amongst themselves." Athena said. "Battles between good and evil must be settled by mortals."

"Sounds like you gods got a good deal."

That earned me another blast of pain from Aphrodite. Seriously it wasn't like I was enjoying the pain (well not much anyway), it's just that after being a lackey for 2 evil mistresses my threshold for pain was pretty high. Wicked Wanda once dangled me over an open fire for a month.

"You will find a way to undo what is being done or you will suffer." Athena said.

"A bit late don't you think? I mean it's not like Herc can take back what he put in, and even if he could it'd be messy. Why not just blast Herc, he's not a god."

"Zeus would not allow it."

"So he'll let a demon goddess use his son to take out 5 heroines but he won't tell his son not to help her? No wonder people stopped worshiping you guys."

"You have set this in motion." Athena insisted. "You will set it aright. If you do not I will personally let all from the dimension formerly ruled by Wicked Wanda know where they can find her lackey."

Ok, that got my attention. I had some serious reasons not to meet up with anyone from Wicked Wanda's dimension until Wicked Wanda herself was in charge again.

"Well ok, there is a way I can stop Lloth's kids from being born, but you two will have to keep her and Herc busy for a while.

"We can not battle." Aphrodite insisted.

"You don't have too."

So a few minutes later I led the two goddesses out of the bathroom and into the clearing. They were both glassy eyed, naked and wearing colars. And I gotta tell you, they put the heroines to shame in the looks department. Large breasts, wide hips, long hair... the works.

"I found some more for you Hercules." I called leading them to him. He was sitting on the ground smiling as the spiders were whipping the heroines. Some of their stomachs were already getting big and I realized I didn't have a lot of time.

"By Zeus!" he shouted. "The twin harpies of Olympus, long have I wanted to silence their tongues with mine own."

"Well you have fun." I said handing him the leashes.

"I will." he said, thrusting his face into Athena's bush.

The man was an idiot. He didn't even stop to think how I managed to capture two of the prime Olympian godesses.

While Herc was getting busy I teleported myself over to the halls of Valhala. Gods being gods don't eat the same food you and I do. Each pantheon has a special food that they eat. The Olympians call theirs ambrosia (sort of a really strong moca-java blend), the gods of Asguard eat golden apples. Or at least the regular gods do. In the halls of Valhala is an army made up of the dead hero's of Earth's Norsemen. Each day they fight, hacking each other to pieces, and each evening they are restored by Valkyries, who then treat them to a big feast. The stuff they use to heal the warriors is made from the golden apples and among other things it drives all evil infections out of the body. I'd been thinking about swiping some of it for a while now, and now I had incentive and I had the weapons I needed. I still had two bags of the chocolate chips.

I won't bore you with the details, suffice to say I left Valhalla with a gallon of the cure all and about a hundred brass, silver, and gold bra's. I left behind some really happy, if slightly confused, Valkyries.

When I got back to the camp Athena and Aphrodite were still at it with Hercules. I was actually amazed he noticed me since they were both licking his cock.

"I thought you left."

"I came back to get some stuff." I said holding up the heroines costumes. "Brought some apple juice too, good for babies I hear."

"Lloth's children need naught but blood." Herc laughed. "But feed them anyway, it will be a good jest."

I walked over to where the heroines lay writhing on the ground. They didn't look good. Their bodies were covered with welts and scratches and little spiders were crawling all over them. My drugs had worn off by now, but they were all still helpless. I started with Wonder Woman. She just growled at me so I waited a few seconds for her to scream in pain and then poured the stuff into her mouth.

Hercules laughed and I did the same to the other heroines. Then I ran back into the bathroom and found Mary Marvel, awake but still helpless. I squirted a solvent into her mouth and got out of there just as she said the magic word.

I stuck around long enough to see Hercules get pounded by the heroines while Aphrodite and Athena looked on and cheered. At one point they used Hercules body to squish the spiders. Then Wonder Woman tied Herc up with her lasso.

"You are an evil man." She said. "And you are going to face the worse punishment for your crimes. I order you, by the power of my lasso, never again to become erect. It does not matter how lovely or homely the woman is, nor will it matter how desperately she cries for you, you will remain limp, manless."

It was a pretty good punishment, worthy of Wicked Wanda actually and I wondered if Wonder Woman would make a good evil queen. Not that I stuck around to ask her. I was out of there before Herc's wail of damnation faded.

"If we are to find him we must do it alone." Wonder Woman said. "I would not reveal our humiliation to any man."

Everyone agreed with her.

"How do we find him though?" Mary said. "There's nothing in the Justice League database or any of the law enforcement files on anyone named Skytower."

"We will look in the places such as he might live." Wonder Woman said. "The darkest hells, the deepest caves..."

She went on like that for a while. So now I got a bunch of heroines who think I'm the next Darksied. Swell. On the bright side I did sell the bra's for a lot of money, and Lloth is blaming Hercules not me, so I think I'm safe for a while. As far as the heroines looking for me, well I live in the suburbs under a birdhouse, not any place they are likely to look for soon. And for a topper I stole all of Mary Marvel's cookies. Not to mention all the cash they had on them, all their clothes and Mary's and Bat Girl's diary, which would make for some good bed time reading. All I have to do now is steal some chocolate milk to go with the cookies.

End.

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