The Global Protectors – Seven Days

By Marcus_Lycus@hotmail.com

The Global Protectors, Ultra Woman and Dynamo are copyright Doctor Droid (www.superstories.net/droidzone), other characters and text are copyright Marcus Lycus.

Any resemblance between characters in this story and any actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially the Avenging League of Justice. They are like, totally original characters and not a spoof of the JLA and Avengers. HONEST! (Please don't sue me!)

Please e-mail me with any comments, complaints or suggestions. Remember feedback leads to more stories!

Part 2 – Star’s Sunday

"By far the most famous and popular member of the team, Star is at least as well known for her music and TV appearances as for her heroics. Actually better known. To tell the truth she is rarely seen fighting alongside her teammates, though she usually shows up to be interviewed and congratulated afterwards."

(From The Big Book of Superheroes and Heroines – 2004 Edition)

Jenni (with an ‘i') Westin (a.k.a. Star) flew over Megapolis heading for the Gaea Building. She was about 20 minutes late for the Sunday afternoon meeting but that was still 10 minutes early for her. She was just in too good a mood to properly annoy the other girls. Besides, she almost wanted to be on time for her last Global Protector’s meeting.

Humming "Moving on up…" she strolled into the conference room where (as usual) Maple Leaf was rambling on about something stupid. The Swedish girl was there, so was the Jap and the Spic but Irish and Tigress were missing. Tigress was off in Africa she remembered (thank God! That lady was just too scary sometimes) and the Irish chick was probably off getting drunk or something. Damn Irish, they’re barely civilized, they’re like animals.

"Star, nice of you finally join us, as I was saying Shamrock won’t be able to get a fight back from Tahiti for another two days. Of course this means-"

Frowning, Valkyrie interrupted her. "She would be able to fly back on her own if she practiced a bit more often. I once flew here from China in just two hours and still defeated the Quarrelsome Quartet."

"Show some respect! Shamrock saved the world last night." La Sola threw in.

"She wouldn’t have had to save the world if you have gone to the party like you were supposed to." Maple Leaf scowled at La Sola.

"So long as the world gets saved who cares who does it?"

Star tuned out the argument; she got winded just flying across town. Instead she focused on tonight. She thought about what she would say when she announced her new status on the Tonight Show Monday. She’d have to thank the Global Protectors of course, but she’d also throw in some jokes about them and maybe that embarrassing story about Maple Leaf and her evil twin. Hell if she played her cards right they might invite her to guest-host the show, and then who knows? The Star Show had a nice ring to it…

"-the point being we need to reorganize the schedule again. La Sola, since you seem to like monitor duty so much you can take Shamrock’s shifts for tonight and tomorrow."

"Sorry Maple Leaf, remember you assigned me to work with Megapolis PD on that drug cartel case until Wednesday. They need a Spanish speaker."

"Uh, right. Yes… In that case…"

"Star hasn’t done monitor duty for a few months now." Rising Sun grinned at the lazy American from across the table.

Maple Leaf thought for a second and liked the idea a lot. Star had been more obnoxious than usual for the last few weeks and chaining her to a desk for a few days might just get her back in line. "Excellent point, Star you’re on duty for tonight and tomorrow."

Star snarled at the Japanese girl but put on her sweetest southern accent for their leader. "Oh I am so sorry boss-lady but I just can’t, I’m on Leno tomorrow night, gotta promote the team y’know."

"And your album."

"Well, yes, a girl does have to earn a living."

"Leno tomorrow, so I can put you down for tonight then?"

"Um…" Star thought fast, she couldn’t do it tonight (not that she wanted to) but there was no way she could let them know why. She had to come up with something fast.

"I, uh, I have my high school reunion tonight! Ten year reunion, I’ve been looking forward to it for months!"

"Ten year reunion? I thought you just turned 24?"

"Actually didn’t you turn 24 last year too?"

"Um…"

"Ladies, I don’t think this is the time to debate whether Star is 24 or 28 or just how many times she has turned 24. I know you must be looking forward to your reunion Star but the rules are you have to request leave two weeks in advance. Considering how little work you’ve put in the last few months working on your album I don’t think I can justify giving you tonight off."

"But boss-lady, the team gets 10% of my album sales, so shouldn’t that count as work time?"

"10%!? Maple Leaf you got 20% of my album sales!"

"And 20% of my calendar!"

Maple Leaf sighed, she really did not need a big argument about royalties now. "Yes, yes, and I’m sure Star meant to say we get 20% of her album too, didn’t you Star."

Star smiled, she was going to get tonight off after all. "Oh, I am so sorry, of course I meant to say 20%, what was I thinking?"

She had been thinking of the special contract she’d negotiated months ago that ensured she paid less in royalties and made more money than the rest of the team put together but it would be rude to bring that up, especially since they didn’t know.

"Right. So it’s decided then." Maple Leaf looked down at her planner in irritation. "I guess I’ll take monitor duty tonight and tomorrow and Star will go to her reunion."

Star sat back and flashed Rising Sun her ‘eat shit’ smile. If everything went as planned tonight the girls would be seeing a lot of it soon.

***

That night Jenni (with an 'i') flew out to the West Side stopping a few blocks from her destination to fix her make-up and check her hair. Then she waited another ten minutes so her date would be good and anxious when she arrived. Usually she’d make him wait at least 30 minutes but she wasn’t in yet. Besides, she was too eager to wait that long.

Once she felt the time was right Star took off again. She could see him waiting by the water tower on top of an abandoned warehouse. You couldn’t miss him with his bright blue spandex suit, Robin Hood hat, quiver and bow. He was pacing back and forth, checking his watch every few seconds and looking up at the sky. He saw her and waved.

Star put on her best smile, flew in and landed gracefully in front of her new lover. The tall muscular man took her in his arms and greeted her with a long deep kiss.

"Mmmm, Blue Archer did you miss me?"

"More than you can imagine shinning Star. What kept you?"

"Oh you know how Maple Leaf is, carrying on and on about stupid bullshit. But after tonight I won’t have to worry about her anymore will I?"

"Nope. After tonight you’ll be playing in the big leagues, The Avenging League of Justice! The greatest heroes in the world!"

"Oh, the ALJ! It’s like a dream come true. And I owe it all to you big boy."

Star turned and kissed him again her delicate fingers finding his fly and starting to unzip it. Blue Archer started to stop her "Honey I really appreciate it but we’re already running late and… and…uh…" he lost his train of thought as Star caressed his member and kissed him again. "I guess we can be a bit late…"

Star smiled, she had him.

***

They’d met a few weeks ago when he’d helped the Global Protectors fight the Clone Arranger. The two had immediately hit it off. Star, a heroine/pop singer and Blue Archer a superhero/playboy.

They’d kept their little relationship a secret though, she’d been working on him this whole time in order to get this invitation. A chance to join the Avenging League of Justice, the world’s mightiest superheroes! No more boring meetings, no more hanging out with losers like Shamrock and Maple Leaf or getting chewed out by Tigress. Star was going right to the top of the hero gig and she was going to look down on her old team and spit.

All she had to do was pass the try-outs.

How hard could that be?

***

Fifteen minutes later.

As the Blue Archer wiped himself off he explained the situation.

"They’re really excited about you joining. Since Ultra Woman quit last year they’ve been dying to get more women on the team."

"And I’m the first one they’ve seen? That’s amazing!"

"Actually…" Actually they’d already asked Butterscotch Fox, the Green Hornette, Amber, the Asian Avenger, Crimson Hawk and Miss Americana but they’d all turned the team down. Hell, Americana was suing Apollo for sexual harassment. But Blue Archer knew better than to tell Star about that. "Actually, that’s right, you are the first. We’re uh, very selective."

"Cool! So like, is this warehouse your secret headquarters?"

"What? This? Oh God no!" He laughed. "Star, sweety, this is the real thing, not some fly-by-night group like Youngblood or Alpha Flight. Come here, let me show you."

Blue Archer walked behind the water tower, the blond watched him take off a glove and put his hand on a specific spot. A secret door opened up allowing them into the water tower.

"Uh, that’s it? Your secret base is inside a water tower? You don’t even have a warehouse?"

Blue Archer just chuckled and stepped inside. Apprehensive, Star followed him in.

"Now watch this…"

"Watch what?"

"Computer, bodyslide by two, homeward bound."

***

There was a flash of light, a bizarre feeling of being torn apart and reassembled, and then they were there: the Avenging League of Justice Satellite!

Star blinked a few times, looking at the vast main hall, filled with trophies from their many cases through the years. Alien spaceships, doomsday devices, killer robots, all of them were on display like a hunter’s trophies. Signs that no one, no matter how powerful, was a match for the ALJ.

Then the aftereffects from teleporting caught up with Star and she puked all over Bloodlord’s Chainsword.

"Sorry about that honey, should have warned you not to eat before your first teleport."

Once she felt better, Star checked her make-up again in the miniaturized compact in her communicator. It looked OK.

Blue Archer offered her a breath mint.

"This should help with the puke breath sweetie."

She snarled but accepted the mint. 'Puke breath? Did that stupid jerk just say I have puke breath? Soon as I’m in I’ll drop this guy like a week-old tampon’.

Finally they entered the meeting room. The ALJ’s current membership was waiting around their round table. Their names were like a who’s who of superheroes:

Apollo – Legendary Greek god of the Sun.

Colonel Liberty – America’s greatest soldier.

Nightbat – Dark avenger of crime.

Sea King – King of the sea. (duh!)

Red Lightning – Fastest man on Earth.

The White Witch – Mystic mistress of mighty magics.

And of course, Blue Archer – The masked master marksman.

Even Star was speechless at the sight of them.

"You. Are. Late." Nightbat growled. Star cowered a bit at his deep whispering voice

"Yeah, sorry about that Bats, she ran a bit late and then we had a bit of a teleporter mishap so we’re running a bit behind."

"Crime does not wait for us Archer."

"Uh, right, sorry. So, I, uh, wanted to introduce a new candidate for membership, she’s a veteran of the Global Protectors…"

Several of the heroes groaned at the mention of the notoriously superficial heroines.

"… and a very powerful heroine, her name is Star and she’s here to join the ALJ."

Blue Archer waited for applause. None came.

"So, um, can we vote her in?"

There was another long pause, Star started to feel a bit of sweat running down her back. Then the old guy, Colonel Liberty, spoke up.

"Well son, you see, it’s not that easy you know. Back when I was leading the team during Dubya-Dubya Two we’d let any guy or doll with a domino mask and a cape sign on to fight the Furer and Tojo but things are different now. We're gonna have to make you jump through some hoops before we can decide if this little lady here is really ALJ material."

"Huh, what'd he say? Am I in?"

"Uh, Star honey, he just wants to know if you're really cut out for this team."

"What? Of course I am! I can fly, I’m strong, I’m bullet proof and… and… I’m the most famous heroine in America! I’m going to be on Leno tomorrow!"

"All that’s true lil'lady, but if being famous was all we wanted then, we’d have let Grace Kelly on the team. You don’t know Grace Kelly do you? Before you’re time I imagine, but back in the day she was hot stuff…"

Apollo interrupted the golden age hero before he wandered too far off topic. "What my bold companion wishes to say is that though thine powers are great we must know if thou doest have the heart of a heroine! So you must be tested! Three challenges we shall set before thee, succeed and thou shalt join our august ranks! Fail and we’ll make you an honorary reserve member and invite you to our next cosmic cross-over event."

"Um, OK I guess. What do I have to do?"

"Thy first challenge shall be a challenge of the body!"

Star smiled, she was so ready for that. She stuck out her chest a bit more (White Witch scowled at her but Star just ignored the flat-chested loser) and smiled at the team.

"Well boys, what do you want me to do?"

Red Lightning bit his tongue before blurting out what he really wanted her to do.

"Far below, in the land you mortals know as India, a great dam is about to give way, unleashing the power of Poseidon upon the mortals who do dwell in its mighty shadow! You must prevent this calamity with your great powers! I, Apollo, legendary lord of the Sun shall accompany you!"

"Huh? Blue Archer, what’d he say?"

"He said a dam’s gonna break and you have to stop it."

Star thought about that. Dams were really big.

"Um, guys, maybe we could start with something smaller, like maybe I could stop a bank robbery…"
But Star’s words were lost as they teleported down.

***

When Star was done with her dry heaves she took a good look at the situation. The dam had serious cracks in it and water was starting to seep through. Even as she watched the cracks were getting bigger.

Above her Apollo was just hovering in mid-air, surrounded by a golden glow, the wind whipping through his curly black hair and his white toga blowing around him offered Star a glimpse of his Olympian proportions.

"Mmmm, nice."

The dam shuddered again and a 20-foot long piece of it fell into the valley.

"OK, OK, focus, I can do this. Just gotta hold up the dam. But what if it breaks behind me? Maybe I can fix it with something? But what? Or build another dam? But that would be a lot of work. Damnit, I bet Rising Sun would know what to do, she’s not so smart, I can figure out something."

***

Fifteen minutes later.

"Hey uh, Alpo?"

"Apollo."

"Right, like what am I supposed to do here?

"Thou musth save yon mortals."

"But like how?"

"Well you could…"

Just at that moment the dam finally broke, thousands of tons of water spilled downward towards the village below. Star stood dumbfounded but with the speed of a sunbeam Apollo went into action! Using his Olympian strength he caught the fragments of the dam and reassembled it using his Solar Vision to weld them in place. This took only seconds so he still had enough time to fly circles around the water that had already poured through creating a vortex that carried it safely back into the lake. He then used his Olympian intelligence to improve the dam’s design, quarried a thousand tons of granite from a nearby mountain and rebuilt it stronger than ever. He also dug new irrigation pathways for the village so that they could double their crop yield.

Five minutes later he returned to the hill where Star was waiting.

"Wow Alpo, that was, like, wow."

"Thank you moral woman, but when you are the son of Zeus himself these deeds are akin to removing the garbage from thine domicile. But alas, this trial was not mine but yours, and fear you have failed it."

"But… but… I saved this cat from a tree while you were flying around. That’s gotta rate a B+ or something."

"I fear it does not m’lady."

"Isn’t there something I can do?"

"Alas I can think of nothing…" The Olympian shook his head sadly and reached for his communicator.

"Well, thanks for giving a girl a chance." She leaned in and kissed the Olympian. She ran her fingers through his hair. She rubbed her bare leg between his, feeling the bulge that formed. His hands reached for the clasp that (barely) held on her costume, she pulled up the hem of his toga…

***

Fifteen minutes later.

"Truly the woman is a champion for the ages! Her wisdom is as Athena’s, he beauty as Helen’s, her skills as Aphrodite’s…"

"Yes Apollo, I think we see, I think we all see." Nightbat commented grimly.

"So, like, that’s it right? I’m in?"

"Sorry there little lady, you’ll have to hold your horses a wee bit longer. You still have my little old challenge to take care of. And that’s the challenge of the old noodle you hear."

"Huh?"

"The next test is supposed to test your thinking skills."

‘I’m so dead’ she thought as the teleporter activated again.

***

The nausea wasn’t as bad this time, Star could almost stand up when they arrived. They were in some kind of stinking, festering, hot jungle. Star could feel her hair getting limper each second.

The old guy, Colonel something or another, was standing next to her. He was wearing some kind of weird red, white & blue army uniform but with a big round shield and a hood with a big 'L' on the forehead. He looked even more patriotic than Star. Colonel Liberty turned to her, he had this big corny grin on his face like when her uncle was playing ‘pull my finger’. He pointed through the jungle to an old shack.

"Y’see young lady, these here communist drug-dealing terrorists captured Ambassador O’Connor and say they’ll be killing him at midnight which I reckon is in about twenty minutes." He squinted into the dark. "Now I count about fifteen of them, no sweat for a high-powered liberated woman like yourself, but the problem is the one who has a gun to the ambassador’s head. He hears anything, and it’s all over for that brave man over there."

Even with her enhanced senses, Star couldn’t see jack shit. "Uh, right. So, like, you must have done this a hundred times…"

"A hundred? I don’t know about that. Well let me think, my first hostage rescue was back in Dubya Dubya Two, the big one we used to call it, Hitler’s boys had Glenn Miller and the Army Air Force Band hostage and I parachuted into occupied Belgium to-"

"Wait a sec. Dubya Dubya Two? You mean you were around for World War II?"

"I sure was, why one time I fighting Panzer Frau and the SS-"

"But then you must be… (let me think it’s 2004 and WWII was back in 1941) … you must be like, a hundred years old!"

"Not quite that old sweetie, but old enough. The super soldier vitamins Uncle Sam gave me have helped me keep going, plus being frozen in an iceberg-"

"Right. So the point is you’ve done this before, so what’s the plan?"

"I am sorry little girl but this is your show, I’m just here to see how you do."

"Right. Got it."

Star's brain started to race (well by her standards anyway). 'OK. Plan. Save the ambassador, without him getting shot. Ah who’m I trying to kid…'

Star moved closer to the defender of liberty, letting her body brush against his muscles. "So, uh, I hear you and Ultra Woman, the Chinese Ultra Woman have something going."

"No, no, you must be thinking of my young protégé Captain Liberty, a lot of people get us confused y’see. Why I remember back during the war when he was called Young Buck, he was our unit mascot, not a day over 12 and we brought him into a warzone, things were different back then-"

The old guy just wasn’t getting the hint. She wiggled closer to him and tried again. "So, uh, I guess my real question is, like, is there a Mrs. Liberty?"

"No ma’am I never needed anything more than my love of my country, my flag, and liberty herself, the most beautiful woman a man could ever, ever… Pardon me miss, but what are you doing?"

Star smiled and stepped into the moonlight. Then she pulled down her top exposing the two most famous breasts in America. She smiled and put a finger over the Colonel’s grizzled mouth. "Tell me Colonel, is Liberty really the most beautiful woman you know?"

"Well… I… there was this girl in France…" Star finished pulling off the costume and undid Colonel Liberty’s belt.

"Oh God and country…"

***

Fifteen minutes later.

"Mmmm, I see why they call you a super soldier."

"Well I have been known to raise the flag in my time… Time. Sweet liberty! What time is it?"

Star checked her communicator. "11:55. Why?"

"The ambassador!"

Colonel Liberty, the sentinel of freedom, pulled up his pants as he ran towards the hut. Leaping down the hill he jump-kicked two guards while throwing his mighty shield through a window. He knocked two more guards out in the half second it took to shield to fly across the room. The shield caught the commie drug dealer terrorist leader in the arm knocking the gun out of his hand before he could even think of shooting the ambassador. Less than a minute later all the terrorists were unconscious and Star walked through the front door.

She broke the ambassador’s handcuffs and pulled off his blindfold.

"Oh Star! Thank goodness you came to rescue me."

"Well of course Mr. Ambassador, sir. You didn’t think I’d let some commie drug-dealing terrorists hurt a good American like you. Oh this is Colonel Liberty, he helped me out with this."

"Helped you out? Now just wait one cotton-picking minute here little lady…"

Star smiled. "Don’t you remember, I was definitely the one doing all the work for, oh, about fifteen minutes there."

Colonel Liberty laughed. "You got me there little lady, you got me there. In fact let me just say I’m looking forward to having you on the team."

***

And so…

"I was on the beaches at Normandy, and I was there for Tet Offensive, and when the 82^nd Airborne parachuted on to Mars and let me tell you I have never seen a woman serve America they way this lady does."

"Why thank you Colonel! That’s so sweet! So I’m done right? I’m in?"
The White Witch glared at her. "Actually my dear, there is one more trial. We’ve tested your body, and your mind, now there is the test of the heart. You and I will-"

"Uh, right, actually maybe instead of you and me going somewhere and doing something, maybe, like me and uh, him could do something?" She pointed at Red Lightning.

"OK."

"But I’m supposed to-"

"Now, now Miss Witch, I think it’s only good manners to let the little lady have her way, she is our guest after all."

"By Zeus he’s right."

And so…

***

"Let me get this straight. A rare bird has escaped from the Megapolis Zoo and I have to get it back without hurting it right?"

"Yup."

"And with your speed you could do this in, like, five seconds right?"

"Yup."

And you don’t strike me as the kind of man who like to waste his time huh?"

"Nope."

Star reached for the waistband of his tight red running shorts…

***

Fifteen minutes later.

"She’s good."

"Finally! So like, can you all swear me in now?"

Archer, Apollo, Liberty and Lightning all smiled and yelled out their affirmation. Sea King was busy thinking about what he would do when he was back with his dolphin friends and just nodded. White Witch was about to object but as the token female member she knew it was pointless.

"So I'm in right? Right?"

Then Nightbat spoke.

"I hope you don’t mind if we review the tapes first."

"Uh, tapes?"

"I had my Nightbat Spy Satellites film each trial, I figured no one would mind. Does anyone?"

"Uh…"

Nightbat activated the monitor screens. Half the team looked up eagerly, while the other half squirmed in their seats. Until finally… fifteen minutes later.

"Yon vixen seduced me!"

"Yes, by liberty she seduced me too!"

"I couldn’t control myself! She must have used mind control!"

"Yup."

"I see. Star do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"What the fuck? This is bullshit! So maybe I slept with one or two or three or four of these guys so what? I can fly, I can rip up steel bars, you can’t hurt me with bullets and I’m a hell of a lot better looking than Dyke Witch over there!"

"Hey!" White Witch adjusted her costume to show more cleavage.

"I mean you let in arrow dick over there and what can he do? Oh I shoot arrows! Look out Doctor Darkness, I have boxing glove arrows!"

"Star? Sweetie? You don’t mean that…"

"And how about grandpa? Look at me I’m a 100 years old and I have a trashcan lid! Where’s my maylox! I want to watch Mattlock!"

"Leave Mattlock out of this young lady!"

"And this guy, what does he do? Swim? Talk to fish?"

"I… well… yes… But I also have little wings on my feet that let me fly."

"Ooo, I’m sure the Wraith Lord is quaking! Now do you want to be a bunch of L-O-S-E-R-S or are you going to let me in?"

***

Fifteen minutes later.

Star returned to Megapolis in a flash of light. She kicked the side of the water tower and dented it. Then the nausea returned and she puked over the side of the building onto the parked cars below.

"Fucking assholes. Goddamn fucking assholes. Just jealous of me. Jealous! Cause I’m the best there is. Best damn heroine in the world. Millions of fans. Everyone loves me… Everyone."

Crying, Star flew back to her apartment to get some sleep before leaving for Los Angeles. Now she had to think of something else to say on Leno.