The Global Protectors – Seven Days

By Marcus_Lycus@hotmail.com

The Global Protectors, Ultra Woman and Dynamo are copyright Doctor Droid (www.superstories.net/droidzone), other characters and text are copyright Marcus Lycus.

Any resemblance between characters in this story and any actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially Mistah Impossible, he's a completely original character!

Please e-mail me with any comments, complaints or suggestions. Remember feedback leads to more stories!

Part 3 – Maple Leaf’s Monday

The team leader, Maple Leaf is tough but fair. She not only leads the team on the battlefield she often puts in 18 hour days running the team’s finances and raising funds for their foundation. In addition she created and markets a best-selling line of motivational books and videos "The Heroine Within". The National Organization of Women has twice elected her Superheroine of the Year.

(From The Big Book of Superheroes and Heroines – 2004 Edition)

Maple Leaf, leader of the Global Protectors, chaired another small meeting. With Shamrock on a plane somewhere over the Pacific, Star in California (thank God, Maple Leaf did not need another day of her whining) and Aussie Girl still powerless the team was looking more like it used to. Back before all the flakes came in and everything became a headache.

"Good morning and happy Monday everyone…"

Rising Sun and Valkyrie smiled, Tigress just scowled and La Sola moaned a bit as she nursed her hangover.

"…we have several agenda items to cover today."

With Shamrock gone, the team voted to cancel her low-selling calendar (12 months of a fully clothed Shamrock hugging cute kittens) and replace it with 12 months of La Sola in tight tango dresses with a bonus topless centerfold to be sold only in Europe. They also decided to dock Shamrock a month’s pay for defying orders and to cover the cost of flying her back from Tahiti.

The next twelve agenda items were dealt with just as quickly and painlessly but as they were discussing the two new interns coming in something strange happened...

Maple Leaf blinked and found her familiar costume replaced with a fur-trimmed Eskimo parka that cut off just above her butt cheeks. The cool breeze between her legs told her there wasn’t anything under it. Rising Sun’s costume had become a red silk oriental robe that also barely covered her butt. La Sola was now wearing a blue string bikini that looked ready to fall off her any second. Tigress was in a similar one only it was a leopard print suit and Valkyrie was in a chain mail halter top with studded leather panties and a winged helmet on her head.

"What the-" Maple Leaf began to say but there was another flash of light and the team found themselves on a white sandy beach with a volleyball net in front of them. Above them on a lifeguard chair someone blew a whistle. He was a green-skinned midget in a bright purple tuxedo and a bowler hat. He smiled and opened his mouth wide, wider than should be possible and shouted "HELLLLLLLLO ladies! So glad you could make it today hee-hee!"

"-hell?"

"Que es?"

"Nani?"

"Our powers are gone!"

"Ladies, ladies, don’t tell me you haven’t heard of little ole’ me?"

"I have." Valkyrie answered frowning. "He’s Mistah Impossible, a magic imp from the fifth dimension who sometimes bedevils Ultra Man. In our dimension his magic powers allow him to do almost anything, the only way to stop him is to play his game and win by his rules. Then the effects of his magic will fade and he’ll have to leave us alone for a few months."

Val scowled and added under her breath "If the rest of you had studied the Big Book of Supervillians like I recommended you would know that already."

Mistah Impossible vanished in a puff of smoke, reappearing in Val’s arms and gave her a wet kiss on the cheek. "That’s right my Swedish sweetheart! But with the big blue cheese in another dimension right now I decided to branch out and sample some international cuisine! Since this is your first time, I’ll make it easy, I challenge you to The Name Game!"

"The what?" Maple Leaf demanded.

Valkyrie dropped the imp and sighed loudly. "We have to get him to say or write his name backwards."

Rising Sun was busy trying to hold down the hem of her short robe in the strong breeze but remembered something. "Hey! That’s not Mr. Impossible’s game, he stole that from Mr. Myx-"

The magic imp vanished again only to reappear on Rising Sun’s shoulders clamping a hand over her mouth. "Hush now my Japanese Jumping Bean, do you want to get us all sued?" He turned to the sky and shouted "I am an original character! Just like Licky Louse and Ronald Ruck! No copyright violations here!"

He let go of Rising Sun’s mouth and straddled her neck. "But the Swedish Meatball has it right, get me to say my name backwards and I’ll leave, but until then… it’s time for EXTREME BEACH VOLLEYBALL!" He clapped his hands and hundreds of volleyballs fell from the sky pounding the women forcing them to bump, set and spike just to prevent being battered unconscious.

As she was jumping to bump a falling volleyball, La Sola’s bikini top finally gave up and fell to the ground. The Spanish bombshell had no time to worry about her dignity though, she had to keep jumping and hitting balls as her legendary breasts flapped left and right. Rising Sun missed a ball and was knocked on the head, her robe flying open exposing her tight body to everyone. Maple Leaf realized she had to do something before they were all stripped bare or battered unconscious.

"Wait! Ow!" Maple Leaf cried out. "Time out! I have a question about the rules!"

Mistah Impossible sighed and clapped his hands. He vanished and the volleyballs stopped in midair. He reappeared behind a tall desk, dressed as a judge in black robes and even wearing a white wig. He snapped his fingers and Maple Leaf’s parka was replaced by a business suit. A business suit where the short skirt barely covered her ass and the where she wore nothing under the tight blazer, but a business suit all the same.

"Approach the bench counselor."

"Um, right, thank you your honor. I have some questions about procedure before we go forward. First of all, when you say backwards what exactly do you mean, would, for example, Impossible Mister be acceptable? Or does it have to be spelled backwards?"

"Spelled backwards of course. Now then back to the game-"

"WAIT! I’m sorry but this raises another question, since ‘mister’ can be spelled M-I-S-T-E-R and M-R I need to know if we should get you to say Elbissopmi Retsim or Elbissopmi Rm? Or would either be acceptable?"

"Actually my dear Canadian Cantaloupe, I spell it M-I-S-T-A-H, I think it has more pizzazz that way."

"M-I-S-T-A-H? So we would need to get you to say… what?" Maple Leaf looked down obviously thinking very hard. Impossible started to twiddle his fingers looking really bored. "Elbissopmi Ret- no, no, Elbissopmi Ha… Hat… Hats… oh how would you say that…"

"ELBOSSOPMI HATSIM you dumb bimbo! How hard is that? Elbissopmi Hatsim! Now get back to the game!"

Maple Leaf looked at him smiled. "Actually, the game’s over Mistah (with an ‘a-h’) Impossible. And you lose!"

"What? No! I mean that didn’t count! Do over! Do over!" He started to cry and shake his fists, the sky turned dark and cloudy and the volley balls fell faster and harder!

But then, just as his face was turning dark green and lightning bolts were starting to fall, he stopped, he smiled, and said…

"Ah phooey! I’ll just have to get you girls next time!"

Mistah Impossible disappeared in a puff of smoke and the Global protectors found themselves back in their conference room, fully dressed (as fully dressed as superheroines get anyway) looking like nothing had happened.

"I can’t believe it!" Valkyrie yelled. "Four minutes! You beat him in four minutes! Even Ultra Man has never tricked that guy in less than twenty minutes!" The other heroines rose to their feet and gave their leader a round of applause.

Maple Leaf smiled and gestured for them so sit down. "Oh it was nothing, all you need is a bit of thinking and most problems can be solved. Which reminds me, we need to decide on a plan for the Fatally Fearful Five…"

***

"Stupid Mistah Impossible making my meeting run late, as if I didn’t have enough to do without interdimensional imps coming in like they own the place…" Maple Leaf muttered as she stormed down the hallway towards the Gaea Building’s marble lobby. But despite her irritation she managed to put a small, professional smile on her face and greeted her two new interns.

The first was a pretty blond in a blue suit with a short skirt and a short top that flashed her midriff every time she moved. The other was a brunette, a bit taller than the blond in a black pants suit. Maple Leaf noted the brunette would actually be pretty if she wore some make-up and washed her hair.

Walking up to them Maple Leaf realized she wasn’t sure she remembered their names. But confidence was the mark of a good leader so she wasn’t going to admit it.

"Lisa! Stacy! It is so good to finally meet you both!"

"Um, actually I’m Eliza and this Kristen."

"And um, we’ve met before."

Maple Leaf blinked, trying to match faces to the names.

"You uh, rescued us?"

Maple Leaf blinked again.

"From Villainy eXtreme? Back when we were high school cheerleaders?"

"Oh yes of course! How could I forget? Wow it is so good to see you both again, how are you?"

Eliza (the brunette) continued to scowl but Kristen (the blond) smiled and happily began filling Maple Leaf in.

"Well after you rescued us we went to the national cheerleading championship in Tampa Bay and we only took second but I think that was totally worth it considering we were doing a new routine and those girls from the inner city school really deserved…"

Maple Leaf mentally tuned the girl out. She was only an intern after all and Maple Leaf already saw the girl was a fan, no point wasting energy winning her over.

"… so now we’re both marketing majors at Mega U and when I saw you had an opening for interns, well there was just no stopping me! Right Eliza?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"And Maple Leaf, I just wanted to say I never believed any of those stories about you and Rising Sun and Tigress at the mall, y’know about you having an orgy with the VX troops or about that video they were selling on the internet, that stuff was totally fake as far as I’m concerned, cause you guys are the best and I know you’d never do any of that stuff!"

Maple Leaf carefully studied the young intern for signs of sarcasm. Maple Leaf remembered that night in the mall very well and definitely did not want to be reminded of it. But the girl seemed sincere, she really believed in the Global Protectors. Good.

"Well Kristen that enthusiasm will certainly serve you well here! I was going to give you the grand tour but since you’re so eager why don’t you get to work right away."

"Uh, I was kind of hoping to see…"

"Plenty of time for that later on! Let’s get you two set up."

Maple Leaf led the two college coeds down several flights of stairs, past the team’s holographic training room, VTOL jet hangers and advanced science labs to a 10’x8’ windowless concrete room in the sub-basement. There was a small table, two folding chairs, a few stacks of pictures and envelopes and several sacks of mail.

"You’ll be in here for the next few weeks. Your job is to open the letters, find out who they are addressed to and then send them a 5"x9" glossy picture of the heroine they were writing to. If they don’t specify a member, send them my picture. There are markers over there so feel free to write in a personal note like ‘to my biggest fan’ or whatever, then use a rubber stamp to sign it. Keep a tally sheet of who’s getting fan letters, I like to use them in monthly evaluations. You get a half-hour for lunch, we don’t have a cafeteria here so you’ll have to brown bag it. This is an unpaid internship of course, but we do reimburse you for bus fare. Any questions and you can see, uh Shamrock I guess. She’ll be back here Wednesday. Have fun!"

With that Maple Leaf turned on her heel and left, closing the door behind her.

"Well…uh… sorry Eliza this isn’t exactly what I expected."

"Gee Kris, considering she didn’t even remember us, this was exactly what I expected."

"I mean, I knew we’d have to do some grunt work but I thought at least…"

"Hey this was your idea remember."

"Yeah, yeah. I never got why you signed up for this though, I thought you hated superheroines?"

"Oh I have my reasons…"

***

After dropping off the two interns Maple Leaf returned to her office, still running late. Stupid college girls coming in here acting like they own the place, Maple Leaf just did not have time for this crap…

Roberto, a member of Tigress’ ‘second chance’ program for juvenile delinquents was already there waiting for her. Soon Maple Leaf’s soft moans could be heard from within along with muttered words like "yes, that feels good, harder, faster, oh yes that’s what I need…"

Maple Leaf was lying on her stomach on Roberto’s massage table as the team's massage therapist tended to her strong back. Maple Leaf was so glad La Sola had suggested she get a massage, this Roberto guy really was talented, she could see why Tigress and La Sola were always calling him into their offices.

"Oh, let me tell you Roberto, this is such a tough job, you cannot imagine the stress I am under."

"Si senora you are so tense."

"What with managing the team, fighting villains, hitting up our donors… forget about having a personal life."

"It must be so hard." Roberto agreed moving his hands a bit lower and smiling.

"I mean I can’t even remember the last time I was out on a date or saw a guy except on team business."

"It must be so frustrating senora." Oh yeah. He knew where this was going.

"Let me tell you I didn’t know how the other girls deal with stress until La Sola recommended you. This is just what I needed."

"I understand completely." Roberto reached down for the clasp at the base of Maple Leaf’s back opening it so that her costume fell loose. He started to slide it down, a knowing grin on his face.

Roberto had to smile when he thought about how sweet this Global Protectors deal was. Several gorgeous horny women with no time for dating? It was a dream job. He’d already helped Tigress and La Sola with their ‘tension’ this morning. And after he took care of Maple Leaf maybe he and some of the guys could welcome those two hot young interns in the basement. At this rate, today might just be the best day of his life.

He pulled Maple Leaf’s costume a little lower, caressing her tight buttocks and unzipped his fly.

So he was completely unprepared when the Canadian heroine sat up and slapped him across the face.

"I don’t know what you think you’re doing mister but it stops now!"

Roberto staggered back a few steps his whole head aching from the superheroine’s blow.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Would you try something like this with Tigress or with La Sola?"

"Actually that’s exactly what we-"

"Enough! You’re fired, get the hell off my property!"

"I-"

"Now!"

Roberto grabbed his bag of scented oils and ribbed condoms and ran for the door.

Maple Leaf spent the rest of the afternoon filling out paperwork on Roberto’s dismissal and reporting it to his parole officer. ‘No wonder I can never get laid’ she thought ‘with all these hassles, who has time? And I can’t believe that pervert managed to fool La Sola and Tigress, they’re usually such good judges of character.’

***

It was after 6 and Maple Leaf was finishing her e-mail when the alarm went off. Tigress called her from the monitor room. "Maple Leaf, we have a mission, and I think you’re going to like it."

Minutes later the Global Protectors were flying over Megapolis heading for the plume of black smoke rising from downtown. The situation was terrible, innocent people were in danger and property was being destroyed but Maple Leaf could not help but smile. This was going to be so sweet!

As they passed the Mega Air building the heroines’ improved hearing began to pick the sounds of the battle. Cries of fear, explosions, sirens, pleas for help and above it all a sweet, melodious voice crying out "Destroy all humans!"

Ultra Woman, the most popular heroine in America had apparently gone insane and was trashing downtown. Maple Leaf was especially happy to see all the news teams there covering Ultra Woman’s rampage. Once they saw the Global Protectors beat the renegade heroine, Ultra Woman’s career would be over. And the Global Protectors would be on top for good. All they had to do was stop one Amazon, how hard could that be?

Maple Leaf squinted down at the warrior princess. Even "Destroy all humans!" sounded musical coming from Ultra Woman’s beautiful lips. Even as she tossed a Mercedes into the fifth floor of an office building, Ultra Woman was graceful and elegant, moving like a dancer. Even after cutting a swath of destruction across Megapolis her skin and hair were flawless. Maple Leaf hated that stuck-up bitch more than ever.

***

"OK team, Ultra Woman has turned evil." She said after considering the situation. "Now get her!"

"Excuse me Maple Leaf-san is that your whole plan? Get her? Shouldn’t we think a bit more?"

"Fine, Rising Sun. OK. Here’s the plan. Tigress and Val you hit her head on, distract her and try to wear her down. Rising Sun you’re the most agile flier here, swoop in and grab her magic rope, from what I hear we can use it to capture and control her like the Collector did last year."

"Not exactly like that I hope."

"No La Sola, not ‘exactly’ the way the controller did. Anyway La Sola help evacuate people from that building before it falls. I’ll wait here and back up anyone who needs help. OK? Now get that damn bitch!"

***

The plan did not go well at all. Val and Tigress dove in at top speed but somehow Ultra Woman was faster. She dodged Tigress’ attack and gave her a nasty blow to the face sending the dazed African flying into La Sola. The two were carried far over the city finally landing in the St. Griffin River miles away.

With her other hand she managed to grab Val by her hair and toss her down the block towards a construction site. The Swedish champion didn’t even have to cry out before she slammed through a dozen girders. The building collapsed on top of her pinning her under tons of steel.

So Ultra Woman was more than ready when Rising Sun flew in reaching for her lasso. She easily sidestepped the Asian’s attack and quickly tied her with her trademark golden rope. "Hey!" Rising Sun yelled "This isn’t Ultra Woman’s Lasso, it’s just some steel cable painted yellow-AH!" Her cry was cut off as millions of volts of electricity flowed from Ultra Woman’s hands into the slim Oriental knocking her out of the fight.

At that point Maple Leaf should have realized that ‘Ultra Woman’ was not just acting out of character but was exhibiting a whole range of new superpowers. But, blinded by rage, the Canadian crusader flew in alone.

"You goddamn bleach blond why the fuck don’t you fall down!" Maple Leaf landed several punches on Ultra Woman’s pretty little face. Inside she hoped she’d finally realize her dream of breaking that perfect pert nose and knocking out some of those supernaturally white teeth. But the amazing Amazon just looked at her, smiled her perfect smile, opened her unharmed mouth, and belched green noxious gas into Maple Leaf’s panting face.

A wave of nausea hit Maple Leaf and her vision became blurred. She felt Ultra Woman’s hand in her hair, saw her hold up five fists and felt them smash into her face. Maple Leaf tried to raise her arms to protect herself but couldn’t seem to get them to move right, they just flailed around with no coordination.

"What’s happening…"

Ultra Woman punched her a few times in the gut before answering. Though her vision was swimming Maple Leaf could still hear clearly as the beautiful voice explained: "Oh you poor dear, you must be so confused. I have to say I am very happy you and your bimbo patrol were here for this. Not only will I destroy Ultra Woman’s reputation today but I will also expose you for what you are, a bunch of overrated Barbie dolls pretending to be heroes."

Holding up the Canadian by the hair, Ultra Woman pulled down Maple Leaf’s top and exposed her breasts to the news crews. "Check it out boys! This is what you’re here for right?" She shook her body a few times to make the point clear.

"You must know that’s all you Global Protectors are good for" Ultra Woman whispered. "You’re just a pretty face and hot body for men to leer at, you’re nothing special, certainly no heroine."

Angry Maple Leaf tried again to control her body, she squinted her eyes, managing to focus on Ultra Woman’s pretty face. She finally realized the truth.

"You’re not Ultra Woman! Your skin is plastic, you’re a robot!"

"Please Maple Leaf dear, if I wanted to make robots I would call myself Doctor Robot wouldn’t I? This is a sophisticated android, what else would you expect from Doctor Droid?"

Maple Leaf used the delay to pull herself together and take a swing at the Ultra Woman droid but her fist bounced harmlessly off, all she had done was bruise her knuckle.

"Oh Maple Leaf, if you couldn’t dent my droid’s titanium skeleton before I gassed you, why do you think you will now? You’re no fighter, admit it, all you’re good for is S-E-X."

With that the droid pulled off the rest of Maple Leaf’s costume and tossed it to the crowd. Twenty news cameras and countless home video cameras zoomed in for a close up. Ultra Woman raised her voice again "Check it out guys, she is one hot tamale huh? Let’s see how hot she really is!"

Ultra Woman’s long delicate fingers reached between Maple Leaf’s legs and began to massage her clit. Built in vibrators stimulated it faster than any human fingers could. Already dizzy and disoriented, the sensation caused an immediate reaction in Maple Leaf. Her back stiffened, her long nipples stood up and she started to pant.

Would this be the end of Maple Leaf?

"If…if you’re just a robot… you won’t mind if I do this!" Maple Leaf squeezed her strong thigh muscles together crushing the robot’s left hand. As the droid tried to adjust, Maple Leaf spun her body (ignoring the pain as several hairs were torn out by the roots) and planted both legs on Ultra Woman’s sizable chest. Maple Leaf pushed again driving her stiletto heels through the plastic breasts into the droid’s power plant.

"What? No! It cannot be!" The robot shuddered and jerked dropping the Global Protector. Its skin started to melt from the energy released. Bolts of electricity arced out making the crowd run for cover. Still groggy, Maple Leaf realized the robot was about to overload and explode, taking most of downtown Megapolis with it. She started to crawl to her feet, she had to get it out of here, even at the cost of her own life.

But then… at the last possible second, a glowing golden rope flew out the heavens encircling the robot. A red, white and blue angel pulled the lasso closed and pulled the robot up, up into the stratosphere where it exploded harmlessly.

The crowd cheered as the real Ultra Woman landed before them.

***

"And so as soon as I returned from Dimension X and heard about this robot impostor I flew here as fast as I could. It’s a good thing Maple Leaf and the Global Protectors were here or who knows what damage it might have done?"

"What about the overload? Didn’t Maple Leaf endanger the city?"

"Oh no, Maple Leaf is a great heroine and a strong leader, I am certain that if I had not come along she could have grabbed the robot and flown it into the stratosphere herself. Say, where is Maple Leaf anyway?"

Still sick and disoriented, Maple Leaf heard the reporters and saw the TV lights. All she knew was that she had won, and now she had to go to them, to get the credit… She stumbled to her feet and staggered towards the impromptu press conference. Dimly she heard the musical voice of her arch nemesis.

"Maple Leaf! There you are!"

Maple Leaf saw her. Her enemy. Her tormentor. Stealing her cameras, stealing her victory, stealing her glory.

"Oh no, your costume, could someone lend me a blanket for her?"

The Amazon turned away and Maple Leaf saw her chance. She put whatever strength she had left one punch. She smiled as her fist broke Ultra Woman’s pretty little nose with those cute little freckles and blood spilled all over her luscious lips.

Then Maple Leaf passed out.

***

"Here we are Maple Leaf-san safely back in your office. Do you feel better?"

Maple Leaf scowled and muttered something under her breath.

"Do you want to watch TV? Let me turn it on."

SNN was replaying the clip of a naked Maple Leaf slugging Ultra Woman. Maple Leaf groaned, she could practically feel the team’s poll numbers slipping.

"Uh never mind." Rising Sun turned the TV back off. "I spoke to Ultra Woman-san afterwards, she said it’s OK, you didn’t know what you were doing. And I’m sure the media will forget all about it in a week or two."

Rising Sun gently placed Maple Leaf on the couch. She was unfortunately still naked, some goddamn fanboy had taken her costume, it was probably on ebay by now.

Rising Sun covered her leader with a thick wool blanket. "Now, you’re still fighting the effects of the gas, you need to rest." Rising Sun tucked her leader in. "Val is resting in the med lab but she’s not hurt too badly. She should be fine tomorrow. Tigress and La Sola are helping Ultra Woman repair the damage. Now just get some rest and I’ll come and check on you in the morning."

The Japanese heroine turned out the light and closed the door behind her. As soon as she was gone Maple Leaf sat up and turned the TV and computer. She fired up her e-mail and started typing.

Her stupidity had caused a lot of damage to the team tonight and there was no way she’d wait till tomorrow to start fixing it. She was sure the insurance companies were already looking to raise the GP's rates, a lot of donors also supported the Ultra Women foundation and might pull their funding for the GP, the merchandising companies might also be turned off by the image of Maple Leaf, naked, slugging America's premier heroine (she saw SNN was playing it AGAIN!). This could be a disaster.

But Maple Leaf was the leader, and she would do whatever it took to save her team.