The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines
By Marcus Lycus
I’ve been writing stories for three years now and filled them with tons of characters. To keep them straight I’ve been using the fictional Kirby Guides. I figure there are probably several volumes including the Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, the Kirby Guide to Villains, and the Kirby Guide to Myths and Lies which covers the stuff that is so obviously false no one would ever believe it. Since the 1930s the Kirby Guides have sent out talented writers and artists to chronicle the adventures of every superhero, vigilante and mystery man in the world. Sometimes the get a few details wrong, but generally it’s the best guide around.
My latest story, Global Protectors - All Fall Down, uses a lot of these characters so I thought I’d collect, update and expand these entries. I also threw in some unused characters and story ideas. If you see a character here you’d like to see more of please let me know.
Legal Horrors – The Global Protectors, Ultrawoman and Dynamo are copyright, trademark etc. of Doctor Droid (www.superstories.org/droidzone) and are used with his permission. Other characters and text are copyright Marcus Lycus.
Marcus Lycus
November 2006
The Kirby Guide to Superhumans, 2006 Edition
The AGENTS – For years there have been rumors of a secret government agency called the AGENTS (Agency for Genetically Enhanced Negation Termination or Subjugation or some similar nonsense) who control the world’s superheroes. Self-proclaimed experts say they look like out-of-shape bureaucrats cheap blue suits. But not one of them has ever provided a shred of evidence they exist. Nonetheless paranoid conspiracy theorists continue to accuse this group of everything from assassinating the Liberator to raping prominent heroines. These same rumors claim they have every superpower from super-strength to mind control. Obviously these reports are false. – The Kirby Guide to Myths and Lies, 2006 Edition
Ahriman – This villain is a Zoroastrian Sorcerer equipped with a flying carpet, magic wands and scrolls. He has shown the power to control the four elements and summon monsters. Since his hand was blown off by the Blood Corps he has worn a gold hook in place of his left hand. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The All-Stars – This 80’s sports-themed superhero team operated out of LA. Their members included the leader Sportsman, the strong man Gridiron, the speedster Sprinter, the crime-fighting duo Slugger and Batboy and the brawler known as the Boxer. The team broke up soon after Sprinter was raped and killed by Red Jack. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Allen-Richards Institute – Founded by a police scientist and a pioneering cosmic ray researcher the Allen-Richards Institute is the world’s premier think-tank for the so-called super-sciences such as temporal mechanics, metahuman biology, paranormal events, psychokinetics, interdimensional travel and xenobiology. Their monthly publication The Journal of Barely-Reproducible Results is required reading for both sane and mad scientists. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Amazing Arachnid – This teen hero can do anything an arachnid can. He can spin a web, any size and catches thieves just like flies. He has been served with numerous cease-and-desist orders by a major comic book publisher. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
Apollo – This self-proclaimed Greek God of the Sun protects the Earth from threats like his mischievous half-brother Hermes and his evil half-brother Ares. He is over 7’ tall and built, well, like a Greek god. His costume is a simple white toga, with nothing underneath. Not surprisingly he has been romantically linked to half the superheroines on Earth at one time or another. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
Astroman – In the 70s this new-age hero from the stars preached peace and love for all mankind. He teamed up with the right-wing hero Arrowman and drove across country ‘looking for America’. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
Aussie Girl – This heroine is the youngest Global Protector and also the boldest! The wonder from down under will try just about anything, from extreme sports to crushing villains. This graceful blond is the most agile of the Protectors and the best flier; she rarely keeps her feet on the ground. With her angelic face, athletic body and mischievous smile this cutie is going to be breaking a lot of hearts once she gets older. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
The Avenging League of Justice – Usually called the ALJ or the Avenge Guys they are the greatest heroes in the world. They have protected Earth since World War II when they were called the Invading Society of Justice. The current members are the Greek god Apollo, the dark knight Night Bat, the patriotic hero Colonel Liberty, the super-fast Red Lightning, the ocean monarch Sea King, the Amazon princess Ultra Woman and master of bowmanship Blue Archer. Their orbiting headquarters, all-star line-up and incredible history make them the envy of all other super teams. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
The Behemoth – Thanks to a nuclear accident, 97-lb weakling Dr. Bruce Flag transforms into the incredible Behemoth, a hulking purple giant with unparalleled strength. Fueled by rage, it is said the more irate Behemoth becomes, the mightier Behemoth becomes. The Behemoth has been served with several cease and desist orders from a major comic publisher. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Bikini Force – The most popular heroines of the mid-90s Bikini Force consisted of four gorgeous young ladies in bikinis and domino masks. They had vaguely defined elemental powers reflected in their names Sky, Sun, Sand and Surf. Their careers ended after Captain Cellulite and Commander Calorie destroyed their slim figures forever. However they strongly influenced the next generation of celebrity heroines such as the Teen Angels and Global Protectors. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
The Black Baron – Probably the most notorious supervillain in Europe, the Black Baron’s career is a record of infamy. He claims to be a medieval baron whose alchemy and black magic allowed him to survive thousands of years. During World War II he worked with the Nazis, helping them discover magical artifacts and training many of Hitler’s Necromancers. However in 1944 he betrayed the Axis powers, allowing the Allies to use his islands as an airbase during the invasion of Italy. After the war he was allowed to keep control of his barony on the Black Islands and was even recognized by the United Nations. He welcomed many former Nazi scientists and continues to shelter numerous supervillains. Human Rights groups criticize his rule and the U.S. government has called him a terrorist but his arsenal of black magic and super-scientific weapons have prevented any interference in his affairs. He wears a suit of jet black armor and a purple cape. No one has ever seen his face. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Blackchrome – This mysterious cyborg assassin was a creation of Villainy eXtreme. She wore a black latex suit trimmed with silver cables and gadgets. Besides her enhanced strength and reflexes, she was also equipped with razor-sharp finger claws and injectors for drugging her victims. In 2004 she nearly defeated the Global Protectors but was defeated by the heroic efforts of Star. Since then other women claiming to be Blackchrome have appeared, apparently VX is continuing the design. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Blood Corps – The most extreme team of the early 90s, the Blood Corps were ultra-violent heroes who used guns, knives and explosives to destroy their enemies. Their origins or motivations are a mystery, since they never showed any facial expression except grimaces and they never said anything except cool quips during combat. Their membership changed often since their missions were often just as deadly to them as to their enemies. Their most famous members include: Gun Guy, Ninja Chick, Nuclear Guy, Claw Guy and Cyber Chick. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Boxer – This pugilist was gifted with above-normal strength and endurance as well as uncanny healing powers. Wearing only his red trunks, gloves and a mask he fought street crime in the 70s. This handsome athlete was romantically involved with the Dancer and several other 70s heroines. Unfortunately his healing factor only generated scar tissue and did nothing for good-looks. He was soon a mass of scars and had a brutally disfigured face. Eventually he drifted into crime as the brutal enforcer known as Slab. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
Braveheart and Daring Girl – Braveheart is strong enough to lift a car and tough enough to bounce bullets off his skin. He wears a sleeveless denim jacket and black leather pants and covers his face in Scottish-style blue warpaint. Braveheart has been active for at least 15 years but never tried to break into the big leagues. His partner Daring Girl is an accomplished marshal artist and gymnast who joined him four years ago. Together they fight street-level crime in the mid-western city of Angelic Heights. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
Bruticus – This villain is a Viking warrior frozen for 1000 years by a Canadian Indian shaman. When he awoke from his slumber he claimed he was the rightful ruler of Canada and found his centuries of sleep gave him the powers of strength, invulnerability, and the ability to belches fireballs. He can also brew a berserker potion that turns ordinary humans into super-strong warriors. The Canadian heroine Maple Leaf is his arch enemy and he claims to have raped her dozens of times. But no one believes this outrageous story. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Caligula and the Gladiator Gang – This Roman themed villain believes he is the reincarnation of the Emperor Caligula and seeks to reenact his decadent life. He uses mental-stimulation devices he calls ‘laurels’ to directly stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain. The effect is incredibly pleasant and very addictive. He controls his Gladiator-themed henchmen by promising to activate their laurels if they do his bidding. Caligula claims he suffered a very dire injury in a very sensitive place during a battle with Tigress but no one really believes that story. Surely the heroic Global Protectors would never do such a thing! – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Captain Courage the Spy Smasher and Spunky the Girl Without Fear – These British WWII heroes bravely fought spies on the home front. However after Spunky’s horrible rape, murder and mutilation at the hands of Red Jack the Captain became an alcoholic. He died after falling through a skylight into a nest of enemy agents. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
Captain Cellulite and Commander Calorie – Disapproving of society’s unrealistic standards of beauty, these two overweight scientists developed the InFATuation Ray which turned caused people to spontaneously develop hundreds of pounds of fat. Their first and only targets were the girls of Bikini Force. After causing the bathing beauties to become bloated blimps they were hunted down and killed by angry fans. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Captain Lightning – In the 20s and 30s this brave space man along with his spunky girlfriend and scientist mentor protected the Earth from outer space threats like Warlord Xenu and the Pirates of Pundarr. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Clone Arranger – This scientist began his career cloning deceased Hollywood movie stars so studios could continue to make a buck off of them. When cloning was outlawed he went underground providing clones for supervillains. Thanks to him no one can ever be sure if a villain is really dead or if it was just a clone. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 edition
Colonel Liberty – A World War II super soldier Colonel Liberty is still protecting America today. With his invincible shield, incredible athletic skills and keen tactical mind he’s still more than a match for any modern threat. The Colonel was there for every great battle from D-Day to the liberation of Mars and expects to be around for whatever comes next. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
Dr. Claudius Crowe – This mad scientist was active from the 40s to the 70s, often battling Stellar Man and Stella. He disappeared during the 70s and his fate is unknown. He claimed to be the brother of Veronica Crowe and grandson of the Victorian heroine Lauren Crowe but these claims were never proven. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Lady Lauren Crowe – Some call this 19th century adventuress nothing but a tomb raider but others say she was the first true superheroine. Often accompanied by the American Indian warrior woman Running Deer and the Irish druid Bridgett O’Malley she had incredible adventures spanning the world until she disappeared somewhere in Eastern Europe. Her legend lives on a series of best-selling videos games and two mediocre movies. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
Veronica Crowe – This famous Nazi collaborator and tomb robber claimed to be a descendant of Lauren Crowe. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The Dark Count – Some claim this villain is the mythical vampire Dracula. Others say he is a modern superhuman who uses the old myths to enhance his image. He is nearly indestructible, drinks blood, hypnotizes victims and changes into mist. So if he’s not a vampire he sure is doing a good job of faking it. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Cutie Bunny – This Japanese heroine has the power to change her clothes, but must always wear playboy bunny ears. Yeah, we don’t get it either but she’s incredibly popular in Japan. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
The Dancer – This 70s heroine used her skills as a ballet dancer to fight crime. She retired when advancing age caught up with her and she fell 8 stories while trying to jump from rooftop to rooftop. Unfortunately she later turned to crime and was implicated in the Teen Angels case. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
Basil Deerstalker – Although he had no superhuman powers, costume or code-name some consider this Victorian detective the first superhero. A genius in almost every field, Basil solved crimes through sheer deduction, to a man of his brilliance the solutions were always elementary. He clashed with Doctor Darkness several times and reportedly met his end dueling with Darkness on a waterfall. However his body was never found and some accounts have him active afterwards. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
Doctor Darkness – Active since the 19th century, Dr. Darkness is the most wanted criminal in the world. His technology seems outdated, usually involving steam-powered robots, invisible zeppelins and bizarre electrical devices but he has proven his inventions are still effective. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Doctor Droid – The most mysterious of all criminal masterminds, no one has ever seen the real Doctor Droid. However his blue and black war droids are familiar foes for all superheroes and heroines. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The Dominator – This 4’ tall, bald man has an enlarged forehead and bulging eyes. However his comical appearance conceals a major threat since he is the master of mind control. He claims he forced La Sola and Valkyrie to make their infamous porn video, but then again he also claims he rigged the last American Idol and got George Bush elected so he’s probably lying this time too. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Draino – This giant purple monster has the ability to drain superpowers by physical contact. Videos of his intimate draining of Aussie Girl are some of the most popular downloads on the internet. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Dynamo – Once a simple car jacker, this criminal gained powerful electrical abilities after a bizarre accident with an experimental alarm system. He put on a blue spandex costume decorated with silver lightning bolts and launched a one-man crime wave. Initially he acted like most supervillains, using his powers to shoot lighting bolts and rob banks. Later however he somehow learned to use his electrical powers in more subtle ways such as disabling alarms and even manipulating the electrical impulses in the brain. He is a frequent foe of the Global Protectors and claims to have slept with several of them however these claims are probably nothing more than idle boasts of a second-rate villain. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Ex-Titans – While the ALJ are the greatest heroes on Earth and the Global Protectors are the most popular, the various Ex-Titan teams are certainly the most prolific. Unlike other superhero teams the Ex-Teams are racially segregated, only mutants are accepted. The Ex-Titans name comes from Professor Salvador’s theory that all mutants are descended from the Titans of Greek Myth. Over time not only have countless mutants appeared but most of them have clones and children from alternate dimensions running around. As a result there are dozens of Ex-Teams running around with names like the New Ex-Titans, Uncanny Ex-Titans, Extreme Ex-Titans, Teen Ex-Titans, Young Ex-Titans and Ex-Titans13. It is impossible to track them all in the space here so please see The Kirby Guide to Mutant Teams volume I-LX and our website www.Kirbymutantguide.com, which is updated daily. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
The Fem Avenger – This feminist vigilante had a short career in Megapolis. She wore a skimpy purple bathing suit with a long blue cape and was armed with a pair of metal bolos she called her brass balls. She disappeared in late 2004 and was probable just another short-lived wanna-be heroine. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
Firestarter – This red-headed mutant girl was a member of the young Ex-Titans and has the power of pyrokinesis (the ability to create and control fire). She disappeared a year ago while tracking down Maximillion Grande. Some reports link her to the vigilante heroine the Incinerator but they are unproven. By all reports Firestarter was a sweet and innocent girl who never harmed anyone. It seems unlikely she would become the deadly Incinerator. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
Freedom Girl – This new heroine claims to be the daughter of Colonel Liberty and a Polish freedom fighter he met while battling the Soviet Union. Colonel Liberty refuses to comment on her story but did praise her as a “bright, hard-working and patriotic heroine”. She wears a magic belt buckle created by Paul Revere that gives her enhanced strength and agility. Her costume consists of a blue long-sleeved bare-midriff top decorated with white stars and white cargo pants decorated with red stripes. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 Edition
Global Pillagers – Some claim the Global Pillagers are the Global Protectors’ evil counterparts from an opposite dimension where good is evil and men are women. However research by the Allen-Richards Institute shows this is a load of bullshit. Honestly it sounds more like a bad Star Trek episode or internet fanfic than something from real life. – The Kirby Guide to Myths and Lies, 2006 Edition
The Global Protectors – You’ve seen them on billboards, TV commercials, and music videos. Girls from 8 to 28 buy their clothes and shoes. Men and boys snatch up their videos and posters. They’re the Global Protectors, 8 beautiful young women in skimpy costumes dedicated to saving the world (and making a buck). The media likes to call them the Paris Hiltons of superheroes but the disdain of elitist commentators had done nothing to dent the popularity or profits of this group.
In the year 2000 the enigmatic Doctor Boyd perfected a process for creating superpowers by activating latent psychic energy in women. Since then he searched the world seeking out women with the wisdom and heroic qualities necessary to become champions of justice.
Each member hails from a different corner of the world:
· Maple Leaf, the leader from Canada
· Tigress, second in command from Kenya.
· Valkyrie, the team’s scientist from Sweden
· Rising Sun, their electronics expert from Japan.
· La Sola, the Latin bombshell from Argentina
· Shamrock, their shyest member from Ireland
· Aussie Girl, their boldest member from Australia (duh!)
· Star, their most famous member from the United States
The team has caused considerable controversy with their aggressive marketing and promotional campaigns. Critics say they’re more interested in self-promotion than saving lives. Whether you’re talking about Maple Leaf’s line of motivational videos, La Sola’s swimsuit calendars or Star’s recording career (and complete lack of talent) people tend to love them or hate them. But as Maple leaf herself says, “Not everyone is a millionaire playboy. The high tech HQ and supersonic jets all cost money ay?”
But the GP are more than just pretty faces in a magazine. These girls pack a lot of punch. The Global Protectors’ psychokinetic fields give them the powers of super strength, invulnerability and flight. Their bodies are always in perfect physical condition (as anyone who bought La Sola’s calendar will testify), their senses are sharper than normal, and they recover from injuries much faster than normal humans. Unfortunately their powers are tied to their physical state. If they grew tired or injured their powers rapidly decline until they are no stronger than ordinary women.
The team’s official costume is a strapless, backless leotard in the colors of each heroine’s flag complimented with a pair of matching boots. On their arms they wear heavy bracelets that cover the forearm concealing sophisticated communicators. Around their necks are metal chokers concealing powerful GPS locators.
Watch out Avenging League of Justice and Ex-Titans! With their powers, their looks and their state-of-the-art equipment the Global Protectors are on their way towards becoming the greatest superhero team in the world! – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
Global Protectors (Golden Age) – Little is known about this team of heroines who fought the Nazis during World War II. Like the modern Global Protectors they consisted of members from around the world. They consisted of Miss Mounty (Canada), Shooting Star (U.S.A.), Lucky Shamrock (Ireland), Green Dragon (China), Red Star (Soviet Union), ANZAC Girl (Australia), La Sol del Sur (Philippines) and Black Lioness (Ethiopia). The team disappeared mysteriously in 1945. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 Edition
Maximillion Grande – This Columbian drug lord was famous both for his grotesquely fat body and his sadism. He was mysteriously killed when an RPG hit his armored limonene. Since then his sister Maria Grande has been seen in Megapolis taking over the family business. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The Green Golfer – This champion golfer turned his talents towards crime and used exploding golf balls and gimmick golf clubs to rob people. He was one of the goofier villains of the 60s but his career took a deadly turn in the 70s. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The Hairy Hippy – Left-wing foe of the great patriotic hero Colonel Liberty. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Doc Hammer – Jake Hammer, PhD, MD, DDS, OBE etc was born on January 1, 1900 and claims to perfectly remember his own birth. From a young age he was an extraordinary human specimen gifted with bronze skin, a muscular physique and unique gold-specked eyes. Although Night Shadow and the Jungle Phantom preceded him slightly, and the Golden Age Ultraman made a bigger splash, Doc Hammer really set the template for all heroes who followed. Adventurer, explorer, detective, scientist, inventor, spy… Jake Hammer was all of this and more. Stronger, faster, smarter than any man alive he fought evil around the world throughout the 30s and 40s until he disappeared in 1949. He returned in 2005, after the Global Protectors found him a prisoner in Doctor Darkness’ lair. However his return was brief, he was soon recaptured and has not been seen since. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 Edition
Hero Boy One – This Japanese teen was cloned and bio-engineered to be Japan’s greatest, and most marketable superhero. He had dyed blond hair and wore a red and white bodysuit with a leather jacket decorated with the logos of his corporate sponsors. He was romantically linked to the Global Protector Rising Sun but his career was short-lived. He was decommissioned after being arrested at a Tokyo sex club. Nevertheless the program was deemed successful. Since then his corporate sponsors have launched Hero Boy Two and Hero Girl One. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 Edition
Human Dreadnought – Built by Hugo DeMott, a Swiss engineer out to destroy America for being assholes, this suit of precision-crafted armor is almost unstoppable. He nearly destroyed Cleveland but was ultimately defeated by the heroic efforts of the Global Protector named Star. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The Incinerator – This vigilante heroine has short red hair and pyrokinetic powers which had led some to connect her to the missing mutant heroine Firestarter. However while Firestarter was kind and gentle the Incinerator is violent and sadistic. She often burns criminals alive, either killing them or even worse leaving them scared and in pain for life. She is usually seen with the Penalizer. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
The Incubus – There are many myths and legends about this male demon who supposedly had the power to seduce and enslave any woman. He was regarded as nothing more than a myth until 2003 when he nearly defeated the Global Protectors. He usually appears as a handsome and suave gentleman but in his true form he is a hulking red-skinned demon with a forked penis. He feeds off the sexual energy of his victims and found an almost limitless supply of power when he challenged the Global Protectors. It was only the heroic efforts of Star that saved the day. – The Kirby Guide to Villains 2006 Edition
Jungle Queen – This 30s heroine claimed to be the daughter of the legendary Zan-Tarr and queen of the African jungle. Dressed only a skimpy leopard-skin bikini she battle the Nazis and other threats until she disappeared. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
King Kaiju – According to Japanese conspiracy theorists King Kaiju is an alien life form living below Tokyo who creates monstrous creatures for the Japanese government in order to keep the populations fearful and under control. They further claim he has caves under Tokyo filled with cloned heroines whom he impregnates to breed new monsters. This is nonsense of course; everyone knows Japan’s monster problems are caused by American nuclear tests and pollution. – The Kirby Guide to Myths and Lies, 2006 Edition
Kowai Gal – This Japanese villainess attacked Rising Sun in 2001. Described as blonde, tan and sexy she was nonetheless deadly, armed with a pair of nuclear gauntlets. Thankfully Rising Sun was able to defeat her with minimal civilian casualties. Kowai Gal died in the battle. – The Kirby Guide to Villains 2006 Edition
La Sola - Generally considered the sexiest Global Protector, La Sola is also one of the most talented. The Latin bombshell designed the team’s costumes and a lot of their spin-off clothing lines. Smart, funny and caring, she is enormously popular both on and off the team. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Larceny Gang of America – This group of high-tech bandits consists of 8 highly trained criminals named Bruce, Cal, Barry, Hal, Oliver, John, Diana and Arthur. They are not connected to any famous superhero groups. Honest. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The Legion of Galactic Protectors – Time travelers have reported that in the 27th Century the galaxy is defended by a literal army of thousands of superheroines called the Legion of Galactic Protectors. Their powers are diverse ranging from the puny abilities of Parking-Karma Kid to the cosmic powers of Planet-Eater Lass. However researchers at the Allen-Richards Institute have shown that these heroines only represent a possible future, not a certain one. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Liberator and the American Dream – Two iconic heroes of World War II, this hero and heroine married soon after V-J day. They revealed their true identities and became active in politics. The Liberator was elected to the U.S. Senate and championed civil rights during the 50’s. He was planning to run for President when they tragically died in a plane crash. Conspiracy theorists continue to claim they were assassinated but no one has ever found any evidence to support this. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Lone Rider – This legendary cowboy wandered the old west with his Indian companion. After years of fighting bandits and savage Indians he began to fight against corrupt businessmen and government officials to protect the exploited Indian tribes. He disappeared soon after but inspired a long line of TV shows, movies and comic books. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
Madam Manacle and Master Menace – When two bored suburbanites got into S&M they decided to spice things up with some unwilling participants. At first they were happy just kidnapping cheerleaders and Hooters girls but they soon graduated to celebrities and superheroines. Videos of their ‘sessions’ are highly sought after on underground websites. They’ve been captured countless times but their unparalleled knowledge of restraints and locks always allows them to escape. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Maple Leaf – As leader of the Global Protectors, Maple Leaf is tough but fair. She not only leads the team on the battlefield she often puts in 18 hour days running the team’s finances and raising funds for their foundation. In addition she created and markets a best-selling line of motivational books and videos “The Heroine Within”. The National Organization of Women has twice elected her Superheroine of the Year. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
Earl MacDuke – This English supervillain claims his ancestor was made the Earl of New England by King George and that therefore he is the rightful ruler of America. He plans to take over the country and turn it into a feudal aristocracy with serfdom and slavery. He frequently tries to steal American icons such as the Liberty Bell and the Declaration of Independence but has always been foiled by patriotic heroes such as Colonel Liberty, Lieutenant Liberty, Rear Admiral Liberty, Ultra Woman, Ultra Girl, Freedom Girl, Star, Princess Patriot, Liberty Lass, Miss Americana, Flag Girl, American Dream, Ms. Marvelous, Star-Spangled Girl, Glory Woman, American Fox, Butterscotch Fox and Lady Liberty. You’ve gotta figure this guy is getting a bit frustrated by now. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The Minx – Originally known as Night Fox Girl this heroine took on the name the Minx after her mentor retired and she became a solo heroine. Often teaming with the tragic heroine Stella she fought crime throughout the 70s. As the Minx she wore a mink coat, cut low to reveal her cleavage and cut high to show off her legs. Back in the 70s every man in Megapolis wanted to know what she wore under that coat. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 Edition
Mistah Impossible – This fifth dimensional imp seems to have almost limitless powers to twist and alter reality. Fortunately he is only interested in humiliating heroes and heroines with strange games for his own entertainment. The Global Protectors have the record for defeating him, managing to trick him into returning home in less than 5 minutes. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Mister Twister – Although he has no powers this criminal mastermind is among the most feared villains on Earth. He specializes in elaborate psychological games to force heroes and heroines into doing his bidding. Most famously he turned the wholesome Teen Angels into perverted villains. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Mysta the Mystic – The only daughter of Mysto the Magician, Mysta claims to be Earth’s supreme sorceress and tries to protect the world from all sorts of demonic and supernatural threats. However her inexperience has resulted in some costly defeats. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
Necrovores – This legendary alien race is completely devoted to death and destruction. Each one is millions of years old, they wear ebony armor that is powered by the energy of dying souls. The more they kill, the more powerful they become. In the 1960’s Stellar Man barely defeated one of them called Lord Omega. If more of them ever attack the Earth they may be too powerful for our heroes to stop. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Nightcat – Possibly the world’s greatest cat burglar, Nightcat is wanted on eight continents (including Antarctica and Atlantis). A fantastically alluring woman many heroes are interested in her for reasons other than the pursuit of justice. She had been linked romantically to the mysterious vigilante Nightbat but no one is sure if she is really part of the so-called ‘Night Family’. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The Night Family – Since the 40s various vigilantes using the name ‘Night’ have defended Megapolis. Some famous ones include Nightbat, Night Shadow and Night Fox but some lesser ones include Night Huntress, Night Spoiler, Night Oracle and Nightbat Girl. They seem to train one another and share equipment and methods creating a sprawling franchise of heroes only exceeded the endless number of Ex-Titans.
– The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
Panzer Frau – This Nazi super villainess wore black leather and carried a whip. She disappeared in the Balkans before the end of the war and has not been seen since. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The Penalizer – This psychotic Vietnam vet uses military weapons to punish (i.e. kill) criminals. He wears a simple black turtleneck with body armor underneath and a skull covering his chest. He was severely injured fighting Red Jack and has not been seen in almost a year. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
Princess Die! – Little is known about this villainess who led a vendetta against the Global Protectors. She was dressed in a ragged pink prom dress and covered her face with a veil. The Global Protectors have surprisingly little to say about her other than saying she was defeated and that she was responsible for the tragic death of their office manager Eliza Fidelis. – The Kirby Guide to Villains 2006 Edition
The Quick Fox and the Lazy Dog – When this super-speedster and hulking muscle man teamed up they though they had found the perfect criminal duo. The Quick Fox can run faster than sound and the Lazy Dog can lift several tons, Whatever she can’t confuse with agility he can smash with strength. Thankfully for all of us the Global Protectors have proven them wrong several times. – The Kirby Guide to Villains 2006 Edition
Queen Lumina of Gemma – This heroine is the Queen of a distant world where she rules and protects her people with her incredible psychic powers. Astroman met her in the 70s and reported that she was 6’ tall, with pale skin and long deep purple hair streaked with indigo and blue. Astroman also said her world of Gemma was a near paradise with no crime or racial strife and ruled by members of the royal bloodline, all of whom have some superhuman powers. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
Dr. Ratcliff – This scientist developed mind control technology for Villainy eXtreme but was found dead when the Global Protectors raided their base in Lone Pine Mall. However since then rumors continue to spread that he is alive and active, continuing to provide mind control helmets for anyone who can meet his price. He may be responsible for the X-rated ‘Strip Mall’ video which supposedly shows three mind-controlled Global Protectors as VX’s sex slaves. However the Protectors deny the video is true, they say it was created in photoshop. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
The Reaver – This mercenary has not shown any superhuman abilities but is an excellent athlete and martial artist. He does not have any specific agenda but always executes his client’s orders efficiently and professionally. He wears black leather armor and a black face mask and carries a variety of knives, shurikens and other weapons. He has never used a gun. – The Kirby Guide to Villains 2006 edition
Red Jack – For decades rumors circulated of a super serial killer who targeted beautiful heroines for rape and mutilation. The stories seemed too outlandish to believe but in 2004 they turned out to be true! Red Jack nearly killed the entire Global Protector team and with energy adsorbed from them began destroying Megapolis. Only a last minute team-up with the Avenging League of Justice and the Global Protectors was able to stop him. Red Jack usually appeared as a 4’ tall hairless humanoid dressed in blood-stained rags and armed with two knives. After absorbing energy from the Global Protectors he swelled to 10’ tall with rippling muscles. He had the ability to psychically isolate his victims, to track them anywhere and had the gymnastic skills to defeat even the most skilled heroines. He may have somehow absorbed these powers from his victims. After his destruction Kirby Guide researchers estimated Red Jack was responsible for over 20 heroine deaths since World War II. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 Edition
Red Star – The Soviet Union had an entire series of heroines named Red Star. Most Red Stars were champion gymnasts armed with a hammer and a razor-sharp sickle. After a year or two the Soviet press usually reported that the current Red Star had retired and a replacement had been chosen. However since the fall of the Soviet Union we have learned that many of them were actually killed in battle or purged by the Soviet leadership. One disappeared searching for the Wraith Lord, as many as three were killed by Red Jack and two defected to the West. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
Tracey Richards – This 30s detective used high-tech tools like a TV wrist watch to fight various grotesque criminals. Like Lauren Crowe she was a trailblazer for the heroines who would come later. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
Rising Sun - Technology wiz, entertainer, fund-raiser and heroine, is there anything Rising Sun can’t do? This modest beauty designed the Global Protectors’ communication and monitor system that allows them to respond to trouble anywhere in the world. Her anime “Rising Sun & Her Amazing Fliends” is a hit show in Japan. Plus she also finds time to raise money for good causes like the Red Cross. And she does it all with traditional Japanese humility and grace. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Seven Deadly Dwarves – These diminutive thieves use their small stature to infiltrate all sorts of events. They are named Proud, Lazy, Envy, Greedy, Angry, Gluttony and Lusty. They have received several cease-and-desist orders from the Disney ® Corporation. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 edition
Sea King – As the exiled king of Atlantis Sea King can not only swim through the deepest ocean but also talk to fish. For some reason people think that makes him a powerful superhero. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
Shamrock - The quiet Protector, Shamrock rarely does interviews or puts out merchandise. Her only projects have been a calendar for the ASPCA and a book of Gaelic poetry. Though she has few fans compared to some of the other Protectors, this sensitive shy redheaded Irish lass has some of the most loyal. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Silver Swastika – This Tibetan hero is the Guardian of Karma who brings his messages of pacifism and respect for life to people around the world. Unfortunately since most Americans do not associate swastikas with Buddhism he has been attacked four different times by heroes mistaking him for a Nazi supervillain. He has forgiven them each time. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Silver Templar – This legendary superpowered knight from the 1300s wielded a magical silver sword and battled evil across Europe. He vowed never to remove his helmet until all of Europe was at peace. At the time most people believed the Silver Templar was an English knight named Sir Justin but recent scholarship suggests it may actually have been his sister the Lady Justine. The truth will never be known since the Silver Templar disappeared in the Balkans searching for the dungeons of the Wraithlord. – The Kirby Guide to Myths and Lies, 2006 Edition
Slab – Although it has never been proven, there is strong evidence this super-strong thug is actually the former superhero called the Boxer. He has enhanced strength and healing but his healing powers do not restore his skin, his face is out of alignment and his body is a mass of scars. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 edition
Spitfire – This petite British heroine’s career ended before it began. She was due to join the Global Protectors but before her powers could be fully activated she was captured and sold to white slavers. She was eventually rescued by Rising Sun but by then it was too late to fully activate her powers. She now serves as the Global Protectors’ office manager in her civilian identity of Emily Tillbrook. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 Edition
Star – By far the most famous and popular member of the Global Protectors, Star is at least as well known for her music and TV appearances as for her heroics. Actually better known. To tell the truth she is rarely seen fighting alongside her teammates, though she usually shows up to be interviewed and congratulated afterwards. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 edition
Stella – the most tragic heroine of our age, Stella could have been a great champion of justice and right. As Stellar Man’s cousin she gained the same powers and began her career in the 60s as Stellar Man’s secret weapon. After years of training and practice, she debuted as Stellar Girl wearing her famous blue minidress and red cape. After Stellar Man left Earth in 1970 she changed her costume to a loose blue top and red hotpants and changed her codename to Stella. However the permissive atmosphere of the 1970s led to her shocking decent into drugs and sexual perversion. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
Stellar Man – In the 50s, a strange visitor from another world arrived on our planet and bonded with a young Kansas farm boy. The boy was changed forever, endued with immense powers of Stellar Strength, Stellar Power, Stellar Senses, Stellar Speed and Stellar Intellect, all fed by our yellow sun. He swore to defend the Earth against all alien threats, first as Stellar Boy and later as Stellar Man: The Man of the Stars. He was the most powerful and respected hero of the so-called silver age. He departed Earth with his girlfriend Polly Path in 1970 and has not been seen since. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
James Stock –, James Stock is a contradiction in terms, a famous secret agent. He uses his arsenal of cleverly concealed weapons, his flawless wardrobe and irresistible animal magnetism to foil the plots of evil businessmen and foreign agents. As long as James Stock is on the job we can be sure the living daylights of the world’s tomorrows will never die twice. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
The Succubus – Like her brother the Incubus, the Succubus is a legendary demon with the power to seduce and enslave any man. She reportedly could change shape, control minds and drain energy from her conquests. However no one has ever managed to confirm she exists. – The Kirby Guide to Myths and Lies, 2006 Edition
Sun Girl – This novice heroine was actually the Greek goddess Aurora: Princess of the Dawn and Apollo’s protégé. She wore a short white toga decorated with a sun, a red cloak and red sandals. Her beauty was remarkable; one observer said she had the face of an angel, but with the body of a porn star. Trained by the Global Protector Star, she had a brief career marked by several humiliating failures. She soon retired, claiming exhaustion. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
Tangun II – Named after Tangun, the legendary founder of Korea, Tangun II is the South Korean Government’s official superhero. Chosen from thousands of volunteers he was given the best training, equipment and the finest in designer drugs until he was better, stronger and faster than anyone alive. He wears a black leather uniform and mask with discreet um-yang designs worked into the leather and the Korean flag patches on each arm. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
The Teen Angels – This group was carefully chosen from thousands of applicants in early 2000 and given ‘Power Gems’ which allowed them to fly and create force fields. The girls were also given skimpy costumes consisting of mid-riff halter tops, miniskirts and capes. They enjoyed brief success fighting Doctor Droid and other foes but were better known for appearing in Disney World and McDonald’s commercials. Their clean-cut image was shattered after they were kidnapped by the criminal mastermind Mister Twister. They joined him and became villains. Their career as the villainous Twister’s Sisters was even shorter; the newly-formed Global Protectors promptly defeated them and destroyed their power gems. At the trial they attempted to prove they had been brain-washed by Twister but not all of them were convincing.
The members were:
Although the group itself was a failure, the Teen Angels did have a lasting impact on the superhero world. Other groups like the Global Protectors copied their system of product endorsements and TV ads. Like it or not, the Teen Angels changed superheroines forever. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
Theodore Thorne – This 30s villain claimed to be a wizard who used magic to commit crimes. After several painful defeats at the hands of Night Shadow and Doc Hammer he retired and allegedly went into the entertainment industry. The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 edition
The Throne Club – Various underground websites claim there is a club in Megapolis where policewomen, celebrities and even superheroines are forced to perform for the perverted pleasure of supervillains. The most outlandish stories even claim that heroines from alternate realities have been abducted to perform there. However these stores cannot be true since no hero or heroine has ever located this club. – The Kirby Guide to Myths and Lies, 2006 Edition
Tigress - Probably the most feared Global Protector, Tigress is said to have the best fighting and tracking skills on the team. As deputy leader she is responsible for training the Protectors. She practices relentlessly, often spending her own time tracking down teenaged gang members and bringing them in. She also founded the Global Protector’s Second Chance Program where juvenile delinquents have a chance to work in the GP’s headquarters. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
Ultrawoman – Ultrawoman is latest in a long line of Amazon heroines who have defended our world since World War II. Ultrawoman is universally admired and considered the world’s greatest heroine (much to the Global Protectors’ chagrin). There is a popular comic book character who greatly resembles her and many fans have asked Ultrawoman why she doesn’t sue them. The gracious heroine simply points out that the characters are not really the same since she has blond hair while the character has black hair. Besides, surely it doesn’t hurt anyone to have two Amazon heroines running around. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
UNICORN – The United Nations International Crime Organized Reaction Network (UNICORN) was created in the 80's to respond to the growing threat of superpowered criminals that normal authorities could not deal with. While countries like the US and Japan had seemingly endless numbers of heroes and heroines to fight villains the rest of the world was increasingly at the mercy of any mad scientist with a killer robot or freeze ray. UNICORN was the answer. Armed with the latest in high-tech weapons, cyberware and equipment UNICORN agents are the world's elite response force for super criminals. They are based in an old Roman fort on the Mediterranean island of Corsica but have facilities around the world including their superhuman prison in Hokkaido Japan. After a dispute with the U.S. government they were barred from operating on U.S. soil. Among their most famous agents are:
· Captain Mai Lynn Castilian – this cybernetically enhanced agent is the daughter of French war hero and a Vietnamese woman. A religious Buddhist she refuses to use deadly force and instead tries to disable foes without harming them.
· Lieutenant Natasha Gorki – was the first Russian to join after the fall of the Soviet Union. Usually partnered with Castilian her fiery temper causes a lot of problems but her cold effectiveness more than makes up for them.
– The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
UNIVAC the Conqueror – Built in the 60s to be the ultimate computer UNIVAC went rogue and tried to take over the Earth. After being defeated by Stellar Man this robotic villain fled into space sometimes returning to menace the Earth. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 edition
Valkyrie - The smartest Global Protector, Valkyrie has PhDs in science and psychology! Besides fighting crime she is also responsible for the team’s medical care and often spends days in the lab working on projects. But don’t think she’s a bookworm, our sources tell us she’s the strongest Protector as well as the smartest and one of the best looking! Hey guys! How come this hottie is still single? – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
Villainy eXtreme – The most powerful group of mercenary supervillains in the world, VX troops can be seen in almost any engagement. Their foot troops are armed with body armor and blaster rifles while their elite use black power suits equipped with antigravity, force fields and blasters. Each one is a match for almost any superhero. In recent years cyborgs and mind control helmets have also been added to their arsenal. They favor bases located under major shopping centers; one prisoner explained that unlike a deserted warehouse or a castle in the Himalayas, trucks and personnel could come and go from a shopping mall at all hours without attracting suspicion. The base could use the city’s power grid and water supply and everyone would assume it was just the Christmas Lights or fountains, VX could even put cameras and guards all around the base and the customers would actually be grateful! – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 edition
La Voiler – Called the Veil in English this French heroine was active in the 40s. She had the power of isolation and fear, the ability to make someone psychically invisible to others so she could hunt them alone. She was brutally killed by the super serial killer Red Jack. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
White Crane – This Korean-American vigilante had a short career in Megapolis’ Hyung’s Town until she was brutally killed by Red Jack in 2004. There are rumors of a new White Crane operating in the same area but they have not been confirmed. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 Edition
The Wicca Womyn – This trio of hot lesbian witches are regular contenders for the title of World’s Sexiest Heroines. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 2006 Edition
Woman Liberator – Since the Women’s Lib days of the 1970s this California heroine has battle male chauvinist villains across America and the world. Her brash attitude and strident beliefs have won her no fans among the male heroes or authority figures but she is a beloved by radical feminists. She wears a simple white bathing suit with a cut-out over her prominent breasts and a red cape. She says her skimpy costume is a statement that she is not ashamed of who she is or how she looks. Hey we’re not complaining! – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines, 2006 edition
The Wraith Lord – This legendary European necromancer is described as a 7 foot tall skeleton dressed in blood red robes. He is said to have an extra-dimensional dungeon and legions of demons and that he enjoys nothing more than torturing and degrading superheroines. He is known to have battled Ultra Woman countless times and supposedly battled the Global Protectors; however those heroines refuse to talk about it. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 edition
The Yellow Fiend – During the 30s and 40s this oriental mastermind terrorized the western world with his sinister plots and inventions. He was thwarted several times by Doc Hammer and Night Shadow but always returned to plague them again. Today many Asian-American groups say his was a vicious stereotype and that reports of villainy were exaggerated by the racist heroes of that time. – The Kirby Guide to Villains, 2006 edition
Zan-tar the Lion Man – According to reports this wild man, seemingly of European descent, was active all over Africa throughout the second half of the 19th century and even into the 20th. He was reportedly as strong as a gorilla, as fast as a cheetah and as tough as a rhino. Today African-American scholars consider him a racist stereotype, an example of a white man being naturally superior to Africans. – The Kirby Guide to Myths and Lies, 2006 Edition