The Sad Saga of Stella:
The Swinging Stellar Sister of the Seventies!
By Marcus Lycus
Smoggor the Destroyer! He lives! He walks! He destroys!
With special guest stars Astroman and Arrowman!
Legal Horrors – Stella, the Minx and other characters are copyright and trademark Marcus Lycus. All rights reserved.
If you want to use any characters in another story you need my permission. It also means that you can’t repost this story without my permission.
And since this story is meant for people over the age of 18, please don’t read it if you are younger than that.
Any resemblance between characters in this story and any actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental of course.
And finally, please e-mail me with any comments, complaints or suggestions. Remember feedback leads to more stories!
Marcus Lycus
November 2007
Issue 5 – Arrow Man and Astro Man, hard-traveling heroes!
“Planning a cookout ma’am?” The delivery boy unpacked a bag of coal.
“Something like that. Put the rest of the groceries in the fridge, there’s money on the counter. Keep the change.”
“Yes ma’am!” The delivery boy’s eyes lit up as he saw the crisp $50 bill waiting for him. He tried to thank the customer but Gloria Barbarossa was already on her way outside to the terrace with her bag of coal.
“Hey partner, time to earn your keep!”
Lynn looked up sluggishly from where she’d been sunning herself on the terrace. She was wearing one of the skimpy bikinis she’d been buying lately. Stella had been moping around the penthouse for weeks, ever since her mysterious trip into the haunted house. She still refused to talk about. The Minx had finally given up. Gloria tossed Lynn a lump of coal. She just stared at it.
“Do I have to?”
Gloria rolled her eyes and gestured around at the penthouse garden. “If we want to keep paying the rent on this place.”
“But I thought Night Fox left you all that money?”
Gloria sighed. “He left me some money okay? And he left me stately Adams Manor and the Fox Den under it. But between upkeep on the mansion, buying my new gear and getting started I’m almost broke. Besides, it’s not like you can’t do it.”
“It’s really hard! You have to get the pressure and temperature just right or…” Lynn squeezed the lump with both hands. CRUNCH! When she opened them there was just a pile of dust. “See!”
Gloria tossed her another one. “Lucky thing we have a whole bag huh?”
Lynn muttered something under her breath but in the end just said “Fine! Whatever.”
***
Hours later a sharply dressed woman in a wide-brimmed hat and oversized sunglasses ducked into a dusty jewelry shop off of Infantano Street. The bell rang and the shopkeeper emerged from the back.
“Ah! Miss… Smith is it?”
“DeMiller you old thief. How much are you going to cheat me today?” She took out a small silk bundle and spread it on the table. Five flawless diamonds glittered under the florescent lights. DeMiller let out an involuntary gasp. He grabbed his jewelers loop.
“You must tell me where you get these! South Africa? Rhodesia? Not East Timor certainly…”
“You know my terms DeMiller, no questions.”
“Well that service will certainly affect the price…”
They haggled for almost an hour before settling on $17 thousand. Gloria knew she was being robbed but hardly had any other choice. DeMiller was one of the few fences in Megapolis who could afford to move diamonds. And right now that was their only income.
She knew Night Fox would be disappointed if he knew she was dealing with a criminal but what choice did she have? Wes Adams was born rich; he could pay for his crime fighting gear with his trust funds and investments. Gloria Barbarossa was a cop’s daughter, without Stella’s diamond-making skills she’d have to take the bus to crime scenes.
But instead she jumped into her Ferrari convertible and roared down the street. She had one more errand to take care of today.
***
“Mistress Gloria! So good to see you again!”
She kissed the old man on each cheek. “And you Fernando! How is everything?”
“Excellent as always. But I must say the mansion is too quiet now with Master Wes and Master Warren in Florida. But I have kept it in order. The Fox Den as well is ready for your inspection. Come, come let me show you.”
The aging Mexican butler led Gloria down the secret staircase to the cave underneath stately Adams Manor. Even after all this time it was stirring to see the giant nickel, the wooly mammoth, the giant Ace of Spades card, the Fox Computer, the Flying Fox and the other tools and trophies of Night Fox’s war on crime. There were even statues of his greatest allies, Stellar Man, Ferret, Night Fox Girl and even his original female counterpart Night Fox Lady. Gloria wondered what ever happened to her.
One thing caught her eye. She picked up an old Defending League of Justice communicator and slipped it into her purse. Seeing it gave her an idea.
“As you can see Mistress Gloria everything is in order for you. You can return to the Fox Den at any time!”
He sounded so proud. She hesitated. But she had to say it.
“Fernando, first I want to thank you for all of your hard work. The Den looks amazing; I don’t know how you keep everything free of bat guano down here in this cave.”
“Believe me Mistress Gloria, it is not easy.”
“And I spoke with Wes last night, he’s also happy with everything you’ve done. You’ve been with him since the 40s right?”
“Yes madam, ever since the day he rescued me from those smugglers I have been by his side. I’ve not missed a day of work in thirty years.”
“Which is why I want to tell you this… you’re free.”
“Free madam?”
“Yes Fernando. You… you can go now. I’m not going to be using the Fox Den.”
“Mistress Gloria, I don’t understand. Are you giving up your war on crime?”
“What? No, of course not. But let’s face it Fernando, a secret cave miles out of town just isn’t practical. Sure back in the 40s you could take the Fox Mobile and be downtown in fifteen minutes but this is the 70s. Between traffic jams and parking problems it just doesn’t work any more. Plus with the price of gas going up, a rocket-powered sports car isn’t practical. So I’m moving my operations downtown. I already acquired an unfinished subway tunnel and Stella and I are going to convert it into the Minx Pad.”
“But madam-“
“No Fernando, no buts. No excuses. You’ve spent most of your life tending to this damp cave, dusting the suits of armor in the mansion. It’s time for you to live your own life. These are the 70s, they’re already calling it the ‘Me Decade’ it’s time for you to find yourself, live your own life, make your own mark instead of being someone’s servant. I’ve spoken to Wes and he agrees, he’s arranged a very generous pension, you’ll never have to worry about money.”
“I…”
“There’s no need to thank me Fernando. Stella and I will be back at the end of the week to pick up some equipment from the Den, and there’s a team coming next week to properly mothball the mansion. Who knows, maybe it will be museum someday? You can stay until you get your own place of course. But after that, you’re free! Live your own life!”
“T-thank you madam, I… I look forward to it. S-shall I show you out?”
“No, no need, I’m sure you’ll want to get planning and get packing.”
“Yes… of course. Thank you again.”
The impeccable servant waited until Gloria left before he started to sob. Looking over the Fox Den he had helped build, that he had cared for since World War II he cried openly.
“But madam! This is my life!” He howled.
***
“Hey partner!”
Stella was still sitting in her lawn chair on the terrace. Still in the same bikini. It looked like she hadn’t moved since that morning. She still had that look of utter dismay and confusion on her face. Gloria smiled. With any luck her plan would banish the blues.
“Oh, hey Gloria… everything go OK?”
“Yeah, pretty much. Sold the diamonds, so we’re OK for money for another month. Made a down payment on that subway tunnel I told you about. And Fernando took the news better than I expected. So all-in-all a pretty good day. I’ll need your help moving some stuff into the Minx Pad. I also want to dig a tunnel to the river for the old Diving Fox and maybe a secret runway for the Flying Fox. How about you? Did you go on patrol?”
“Huh? No, I just didn’t feel like it y’know. But y’know I used my stellar hearing and stellar sight to keep an eye on things. It was pretty quiet.”
Gloria nodded. On the way back she’d been listening to the police band, there had been three muggings and a holdup that day, and no sign of Stella the whole time. This was getting bad.
Gloria took out the DLJ communicator. “Well I have some good news for you! You’ll never guess who’s coming to town!”
Lynn just shrugged.
“Astroman and Arrowman!”
“Who?”
***
Arrowman – When this marine was stranded behind enemy lines in Vietnam he was forced to rely on his wits and skills. He fashioned a bow and arrows in the jungle and fought his way back to home base. Now back in America this ‘straight arrow’ is using his talents in a new war, the war on crime, indecency and decadence! – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 1970 edition
Astroman – When astronaut Alan Anderson traveled into space he had an adventure even he never expected. Chosen by aliens to serve as the protector of mankind, he was given amazing powers. Now this new-age hero from the stars preaches peace and love for all mankind. Along with his colleagues in the Astro Corps he defends the entire universe. Astroman is a striking Adonis with shoulder-length blond hair and broad, muscular shoulders. He wears a shinning blue and silver skin-tight uniform and was voted Sexiest Hero Alive by Capes and Masks magazine. He recently teamed up with the right-wing hero Arrowman to drive across country ‘looking for America’. – The Kirby Guide to Superheroes and Heroines 1970 edition
***
“Oh right. Them. So?”
“So? So? Think about it Lynn, Astroman is gorgeous. And he’s super-strong, super-tough and can fly in space! If you two hit it off, well… you can actually ‘get it on’ you get my drift.”
“Huh? I don’t…” Then enlightenment dawned on her face. “Starsandcomets!” Lynn vanished in a blur. From her room Gloria could hear the sound of the closet being thrown open and clothing tossed around. “What’ll I wear? Gloria help!”
Gloria smiled. That sounded more like the Lynn she knew.
***
“Ah Megapolis! Mightiest city on this mad orb men call Earth! Home to the greatest of champions, the tallest of towers and the wealthiest of men yet also home to the crime, corruption and chaos that dwell in the hearts of men!”
“You can say that again buddy, it was bad enough when it was just them filthy Puerto Rican street gangs and them degenerate Italian mobsters and them greedy Jewish lawyers but these days even the gooks are moving in. In a couple years they’ll have pictures of Ho Chi Minh and Chairman Mao in Siegel Square. You better believe it.”
Astroman and Arrowman’s beat up Chevy van pulled onto the Sterenko Bridge and crossed the St Giffen River into Megapolis. The two mismatched heroes had been crisscrossing the country in search of the real America. They had fought evil hippies in LA and evil landlords in New York. Everywhere they went they found the best and worst of humanity. And now they were in the heart of the country Megapolis itself; wondering what they would find.
“I got a line on these two hero chicks here.”
“Friends? Companions? Allies in our quest?”
“Nah, barely know them. I met Night Fox Girl a year or two back and out of nowhere she gives me a call on my old Defending League communicator says she wants to get together.”
“Is there some threat to the humble inhabitants of this madly spinning orb?”
“Nah. I think she’s just looking to party. I hear she’s become a real swinger since Night Fox retired. Says there’s a place on the west side, on of them old warehouses got turned into a club.”
The sky overhead became dark and hazy as they pulled under Megapolis’ ever-present smog cloud.
“Alas, I see the inhabitants of this fair city have fouled the air of mother Earth!” Astroman whined.
“Hey, don’t be badmouthing it, this is progress, this is good old American industry, that’s what this is. Yeah I those gooks back in ‘Nam living in fucking grass huts had some blue skies, but there would kill their own mothers to be living here with electricity and air conditioning and everything and don’t you forget it.”
***
Meanwhile across town in the physics lab of Mega University…
“Professor Lowe, are you sure about this?”
“Sure? Of course I’m sure! The electro-static condenser is foolproof. It will create a field of negative ions that will draw in all the pollution in Megapolis. By this time tomorrow the skies will be clean and clear!”
“But professor shouldn’t we check with the mayor or the EPA?”
“Why? So they can tie up my invention in red tape? We’ll activate it tonight and tomorrow they can thank me!”
***
The beat-up van pulled up in front of The Warehouse. The aptly-named old warehouse was now covered in neon and spotlights, the parking lot filled with a weird mix of Mercedes, motorcycles and VW bugs. The crowd too was also a mix of bikers, hippies, artists and preppies. In a mix like that no one gave the two hard-traveling heroes a second look.
As usual Arrowman was in his beat up army surplus gear while Astroman chose an embroidered white robe and a blue headband to hold down his golden locks. They passed under a six-story tall mural of the Warehouse’s founder and guiding light Drake Warlock was painted over the entrance, four pictures of him each in a different color. His albino skin and dark glasses became red, green, blue and violet in the four images. Arrowman grunted and proceeded in. Astroman just stood there watching until Arrowman came back and pulled him in.
“Such beauty and depth… so profound, he is a true genius who can penetrate the soul of this mad realm men call America.” Astroman whispered.
“Yeah, figures you’d like that kind of stuff” Arrowman replied. “Hippy freak” he added under his breath.
“Hey square, you on the list?” A bullet-headed bouncer growled.
Arrowman just smiled.
***
“It’s working! It’s working! The smog is being pulled here!”
“Professor Lowe the system is overloading! We have to shut it down!”
“Shut it down? In our moment of triumph? Don’t you see this is our chance to cleanse the city of all of its foulness?”
“Professor!”
***
“And get a haircut!” Arrowman added stepping over the bouncer’s bruised body. He gave the punk another kick for good measure.
“You actually were on the guest list you know.”
Arrowman looked up at the vision of loveliness waiting for him.
A busty brunette in a hip-hugging miniskirt, fishnets and a midriff halter top was glaring at him. She wore a long fur-trimmed coat over her outfit and an impressive diamond necklace. She could only be-
“Hey Foxy, good to see you again.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“You too Arrows. Still dressing like a bum?”
“Hey this stuff is comfortable and practical. Course there’s something to be said for impractical outfits too…” He put a daring hand on her bare stomach and kissed her lips. Gloria thought about a judo flip but Arrowman was a pretty good kisser. She responded.
“Is that him?!”
She broke off. “Have you met my new partner?”
Arrowman turned his head and checked out the skinny blonde lurking behind Gloria. Stella was wearing a denim minidress fringed at the skirt and on the sleeves with two red leather thigh-high boots and a gold belt over it. A gold peace medallion was on a long chain, hanging to her navel. He tried not to drool.
“Whoa. Um, I mean uh, hey, nice to meet you, I’ve been a big fan even since you were Stellar Girl.” They shook hands. “And have you met my new partner, Astroman?”
Stella looked over his shoulder at the dreamy blond man smiling at her. His teeth were impossibly white; his muscles clearly defined even under his white robes, his hair glowed, almost as brightly as hers. He took her hand and bowed. He kissed it gently.
“Radiant. You are truly radiant.”
Without another word the pair headed for the dance floor.
“See? Told you they were made for each other.”
“Ah, you just don’t know Astro; he’s like that with every girl.”
“We’ll see. Care to buy me a drink?”
Arrowman felt in his pocket for his last three dollars and sighed. “Sure.”
***
The smog was circling now, ball lightning crackling inside the clouds of pollution. It was forming a vortex centered on the Mega University physics lab.
Inside the lab computers and equipment threw off sparks. Glass shattered. Walls shook.
“Professor Lowe!”
“Not now! We’re so close! I just have to reverse the polarity and I can destroy this pollution forever!”
He reached for a lever…
***
Back at the club the music was getting louder, the crowd larger. In one corner a group of hippies sat around a hookah chanting and staring into space. In another, a group of leather wearing bikers were biting beer cans open. A couple of elegant young women were doing lines of coke at the end of the bar, and a couple was having sex on the dance floor.
A typical night at the warehouse.
Arrowman and the Minx sat in a dark corner nursing their drinks.
“So yeah, after coming back from ‘Nam I just wanted to get back to America but once I was here it was like everything was dark and crooked. So I had to do something. Course I couldn’t go around shooting people but I learned how to shoot a bow when I was trapped behind VC lines so I figured I’d become one of those archer heroes. Funny how that works, you go around with a gun and you’re a psycho, carry a bow and all of the sudden you’re a respectable hero.”
“The difference is class Arrows. Any moron can shoot a gun, but to get up to our level of skill you have to be a pretty extraordinary person y’know. So did you make all your trick arrows and stuff too?”
“Nah. I bought them from this guy, Crossbow Man or something.”
“Captain Quarrel? From the Invading Society of Justice?”
“Uh, yeah, I think that was him. How did you know? I never even heard of the guy before I bought his stuff.”
The Minx tapped her head. “Photographic memory. If someone’s been in the Kirby Guides or a major paper, chances are I’ll know him.” Her voice changed.
“Captain Quarrel – Also known as the Crossbow Crusader this millionaire used a collection of trick arrows and a crossbow that once belonged to William Tell to fight crime in the 40’s and 50’s. He often teamed up with Mister Musket and the Silver Saber to make up the Triple Alliance of Law. Retired in 1958 and recently sold his collection of crime fighting equipment to a private collector.” She recited. Arrowman looked impressed. “Want to hear your entry?”
“Nah. But geeze, that’s gotta come in handy.”
“Yeah but it’s hard to keep up. The Kirby Guide only comes out once a year and the Journal of Caped and Masked Heroes once a month. I wish there was some way to spread information instantly, with constant updates. But an integrated network like that would take more computer power and telecommunications bandwidth than the whole world has.”
Arrowman blinked uncomprehendingly.
“Um sorry, just something I’ve been thinking about. Anyway the point is what’s up with you? I haven’t seen you in over a year, what’s with this cross-country trip and hanging out with Space Hippy over there?” She pointed at Astroman, still dancing with Stella.
“It was an accident really. I heard how these punks were causing trouble for a business man and at the same time Astroman was checking out a story about a crooked landlord trying to bulldoze the ghetto. So we fought, then we talked then we teamed up. Turns out the landlord was tied to the mob. So it kind of opened my eyes y’know. So I figured we should try and discover the real America. And we’ve seen so far is pretty ugly. Trash in the national parks, pollution in the rivers, injustice, poverty… It’s like what the hell was I fighting for in Nam?”
“Maybe it was always like this and we’re just seeing it now? I mean segregation only ended in the 50’s, people only got serious about civil rights and women’s rights in the 60’s. Maybe we just have higher standards now.”
“Yeah maybe.”
“Buy me another drink?”
Arrowman felt in his pocket, just a buck left. He looked at the diamonds glittering across the table from him. “Ain’t it your turn? I thought women’s lib made men and women equal?”
The Minx smiled. “Not yet man.”
Across the floor Stella and Astroman started making out.
***
Lightning rained down on the physics building. Wires fell from the ceiling, a monitor exploded and the assistant fell to the floor. The building shook. Professor Lowe pulled the lever and screamed!
***
Before Arrowman could get up, a bottle arrived at the table. “Gloria Barbarossa! Please accept this, compliments of the house.” A thin pale man said.
“Drake Warlock!” The Minx kissed his cheek and gave him a big hug. “But why?”
“Well after you saved my priceless collection of Coca Cola cans I think I owe you a few drinks. Where is your lovely partner tonight?”
“I… I don’t know what you mean... Um, wasn’t it the Minx and Stella who saved your collection?”
Drake Warlock smiled slyly. “Why yes, I must be mistaken.”
There was an awkward silence. “So where is… your blond friend? Lynn Lewis?”
“She’s um, over there, with that guy.”
Astroman and Stella were making out in the corner.
“Lovely. Lovely. So she found a suitable man. She so deserves it. Well see you later. Ciao!”
Arrowman looked bitterly at the departing artist and at his partner. “Does he know your secret ID?”
“Well I guess… I mean I guess we’re not exactly inconspicuous in either identity.”
“Aren’t you worried? I mean Night Fox never told anyone-“
“Aw come on, you’re so uptight. He’s Drake Warlock, the most famous artist in Megapolis. We can trust him.”
“I guess.”
They watched their partners swapping spit on the other side of the warehouse.
“So, you seeing anyone these days?”
The Minx thought of Stanley for a second but said “nah, nothing serious. You?”
Arrowman thought of his long-time girlfriend Nightingale, but the blonde judo expert was off in California teaching orphans. “Nope. So you wanna-“
Then the warehouse shook and a loud voice drowned out the music.
“I AM SMOGGOR THE DESTROYER! SURRENDER TO ME, OR DIE!”
“Crap!” Minx and Arrowman said in unison. They ran for the door, Stella and Astroman behind them.
Outside a crowd was already gathering to watch. An enormous grey figure had formed over the city, its body formed of clouds, crackling with lightning and a crude parody of a human face appearing on the head.
“YOUR DAYS OF FOUL POLLUTION ARE THROUGH! FROM THIS DAY FORWARD I, SMOGGOR, SHALL PURIFY THIS EARTH!”
The massive figure gestured and balls of lightning flew from his crude finger, blasting a factory on the west side.
“INDUSTRY YOUR GAME IS THROUGH! FOR NOW YOU HAVE TO ANSWER TO – SMOGGOR THE DESTROYER!”
“Great Jupiter!” Astroman shouted. His white robes crackled with energy and were replaced with his silver, blue and red skintight uniform. He took off into the air.
“Star and comets!” Stella cried. There was a blur and suddenly her dress and boots were on the ground, she was garbed in her costume. The Minx let out a low whistle; it still amazed her how fast Stella could move when she wanted to. Stella rose into the air, stopped, landed and grabbed the Minx by the shoulders.
“Gloria, what should I do?”
“Um- help Astroman! Try and block those lightning blasts, make sure they don’t hit bystanders.”
“OK! Got it! Thanks!” She vanished in a red and blue blur.
“Huh. So what about us?”
“Don’t suppose you’ve got an anti-smog monster arrow?”
“Nope. Know any good judo tricks for a mile-high pollution monster?”
“Can’t say that I do.”
“Y’know what I do have though. A van with a waterbed.”
“Do you now?” The Minx looked up again. Stella seemed to be blocking the lightning blasts well enough. She thought for a second and couldn’t come up with anything productive she could be doing. “So… which way?”
***
“Hee-hee they tickle!” Stella blocked another barrage of lightning bolts before they could destroy the cars on the Sterenko Bridge. “Hey uh, Astroman, any luck?”
“Saturn’s Rings! Truly this is the most bedeviling foe I have faced! His fists are as solid as the Mountains of Mars but when I strike at his body it is as soft as the Clouds of the Nebula!”
Stella looked at Smoggor with her stellar sight and still saw nothing. There was nothing solid in the vast clouds. But when he reached down to tear out a chunk of highway his hand was solid. She punched it a few times but nothing happened.
“Stars and comets, at this rate he’ll destroy the whole city!”
***
On the waterbed Arrowman had his faded jeans around his ankles and was pulling down the Minx’s panties. He sucked on one of her ample breasts and teased her nipple with his tongue. He squeezed her round ass and gently coaxed her labia open with strokes of his strong archer’s fingers. The Minx yanked off his army jacket and tore open his shirt. Her long fingernails scratched his back. He thrust inside her, driving in deep and hard and fast.
“Uh!” they both cried out and sighed.
They lay side-by-side on the flowing mattress.
“That was good Foxy. I always knew you were into me.”
“Me? You were the one who kept checking out my ‘chest emblem’ during that team-up.”
“Yeah like you weren’t trying to check the size of my ‘arrow’.”
They laughed.
“Was it really just a year ago we were helping Stellar Man and the Defending League against Calvin Crowe and the Black Baron. There must have been two dozens heroes there.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t tell you who half those people were.”
“I knew them all of course. At least I’d read about them. Even the most obscure. Heck, I even knew who you were.”
Arrowman chuckled. “Come on Foxy, that’s low.”
“Low… Lowe? Of course!” She sat up and reached for her purse.
“Huh?”
“Lowe! Professor Lowe at Mega University. He just published a paper on using electrical ionic generators to fight smog! I bet he would know how to combat Smoggor!” She took out a miniaturized version of her costume wrapped in airtight plastic. She tore it open and the coat grew to its normal size.
“But…”
The Minx grabbed Arrowman’s blue tunic off the floor and tossed it at him. “Get dressed, we’re going out!”
***
“Hey it’s working!” Stella hit Smoggor again with her stellar beams, heat rays from her eyes. Part of his arm evaporated. Astroman fired a blast of cosmic energy to the same effect. Smoggor howled in pain.
“MORTAL WORMS! DO YOU NOT REALIZE I AM HERE TO SAVE YOU?”
He tried to swat Stella but she dodged his clumsy blow.
“Hee-hee I think we’re winning!”
“Be not too confident my fair maiden of the stars, the extent of this creature’s power remains unknown.”
“Ha! Power? I’m Stella, the most powerful girl in the world! Watch this!”
She rose high into the sky and dove, spinning like a top, creating a whirlwind of air behind her. She plowed right into Smoggor’s chest, creating a hole the size of a city block before she disappeared into his murky depths.
She didn’t come out.
“Stella! STELLA!” Astroman shouted and flew in after her!
***
The Minx Cycle pulled up outside the physics building. The whole building was shaking like it was about to fall apart. Sparks were flying from the roof into a dark vortex of clouds. They realized this must be the place.
“Fuck - I mean, uh, great Scott.”
“Yeah, me too.” Arrowman notched a rope arrow and fired it into a top-floor window. The Minx nodded and fired a diamond-tipped spike from her bracelet. They started to climb.
***
“W-where am I? It’s c-cold!”
Stella was spread-eagled, grey tendrils wrapped around her wrists and ankles. She tried to free herself, breasts swaying as she wiggled but most of her strength had left her.
A face formed in the grey clouds in front of her. “FOOLISH GIRL OF THE STARS! JUST AS SUNLIGHT CANNOT PENETRATE THE SHROUD OF SMOG OVER THIS CITY SO TOO NO LIGHT CAN PENETRATE THE INKY DEPTHS OF SMOGGOR! YOU ARE POWERLESS, CUT OFF FROM THE SOURCE OF YOUR ABILITIES! HERE YOU SHALL REMAIN IN DARKNESS UNTIL THE EARTH IS ONCE MORE PURE!”
“N-no!” She writhed again but still made no progress. She was starting to shiver, her teeth were chattering, goose bumps appeared on her long legs.
“A-Astroman! M-Minx! Help m-me!”
The clouds in front of her cleared slightly and there was Astroman, similarly spread-eagled and caught like a fly.
“I fear my fair lady of the stars; I too am cut off from the astral energy that empowers me. The scourge of pollution has also made me powerless!”
“S-stars and c-comets! Now what?”
“I know not, woman of the stars, but I know this, I am glad to be here, sharing my final moments with you.”
Stella blushed.
***
“Now what Foxy?”
The lab was in ruins. A graduate student was dead on the floor, his face covered in shattered glass. Dr. Lowe was across the room clutching a lever with several wires wrapped around his head. He was twitching and his lips still moved.
“He’s saying… ‘until the Earth is once more pure’”
“Weird that sounds like something Smoggor would say.”
“Exactly! It’s as if his mind was somehow animating that smog monster outside!”
“But how?”
The Minx snapped her fingers. “Of course! The mind is nothing more than electrical impulses crackling on our neurons, somehow that smog and its ball lightning has become like a massive mind. And Dr. Lowe’s mind to give it shape. We have to get him loose!” She took a step forward but sparks surged driving her back. “Crap. How can we get over there?”
“I think that’s my cue Foxy.” Arrowman notched a trick arrow and fired. The arrow hit a wire, turned and severed the others before flying back into his hand. “Boomerang arrow, gets them coming and going.”
The sparks ceased. Dr. Lowe collapsed to the ground. The Minx ran over and gave him CPR.
Outside the smog monster started to dissipate.
***
“STARS AND COMETS!” Powerless, Stella started to fall.
“I have thee!” Astroman yelled and cradled her in his arms. “Apparently my astral energies replenished themselves faster than your stellar powers.”
“Stars and comets, shut up…”
She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his neck. Then his lips.
She felt strength rushing back into her body. They rose together, up high into the now-clear sky. Energy surrounded them both and Astroman’s costume disappeared. Naked he pressed his hard body against Stella’s soft one. Astroman’s fingers fumbled for Stella’s yellow belt and undid it. He peeled off her red hotpants as they crossed through a cloud. They fluttered towards the Earth. Stella giggled at the feeling of cold wet air on her snatch. But the giggle became a gasp as he entered her. Then the gasp became silence as they left the atmosphere behind.
Which became gasps again as he thrust hard into her and steered their joint flight downward again. Her cries were lost in the sound of rushing air as they descended like missiles towards the mountains of Schwartz National Park. At the last second Astroman swerved upwards and they landed gently on a snow bank. The heat of their bodies sent up clouds of steam.
“Oh stars and comets! Fuck me Astroman, fuck me harder, harder! Uh!”
Her hotpants were long gone, her top was up around her neck, her cape spread out like a blanket and Astroman was thrusting deep inside her. Stella’s back arced like a bow and she screamed again. Her clutching fingers grabbed a chunk of granite and crushed it to powder. Her leg jerked kicking the mountain, and seismographs a hundred miles away detected it.
The Earth moved.
And finally they were spent. The sun began to rise as they lay in their thawed circle under Stella’s cape, kissing and embracing. Finally Astroman sat up.
“I go now to bathe myself in yonder lake” he pointed at a lake several miles down the mountain. “Will you join me fair Stella?”
“Hmm… in a few minutes OK?” She said lazily and rolled over on her side. It had been such a good day. And such a good night. She yawned and everything went dark.
***
“You whore!”
“Wha…OW!”
Someone was pulling Stella by her long blond hair. A hand grabbed her head and slammed it into a boulder, once, twice, three times. “OW! OW! OW!”
“Try to steal my man will you?” Stella was wrenched to her feet to confront her attacker.
It was a girl! A young girl! She looked no more than 14 or 15 years old. Barely five feet tall! Her skin was gold, her hair a very pale blond, almost platinum. Her eyes white. Her ears pointed. She wore a version of Astroman’s blue and red suit but hers was a miniskirt with a bustier leaving her shoulders and arms bare.
“What…” Was all Stella could think to say before the little pixie punched her in the face and sent Stella flying across the valley into a mountain on the other side.
“… the hell?” She finished her question miles away in a crater. And the pixie was flying towards her.
“I don’t know what this is but I’m tired of being everyone’s stellar punching bag!” She rose into the air and gave the pixie a solid blow to the face. There was a crack like thunder and the pixie fell like a meteor. Stella dove after her.
The pixie recovered herself and hovered for a second, enough time for Stella to tackle her in midair and ram her face first into a cliff side.
“Let’s” (Stella slammed her face) “see” (slammed it again) “how” (slam!) “you” (slam!) “like” (slam!) “it!” (one last one for good measure!)
She let go of the girl’s short blond hair and let her fall to the ground. The pixie groaned, she didn’t seem to be hurt badly. She had to be as tough as Astroman himself.
The pixie crawled to her hands and knees and threw up. Stella hovered over her feeling guilty. Yeah the little girl started it but Stella still felt bad for her. She pulled her blouse lower, to cover her private parts, and landed. She reached out a hand.
“Look, I don’t know who you are or why you hit me but maybe we can-“
The pixie looked up, her white eyes turned red. Stella felt her powers leave her.
“You’re pretty strong Star Whore but my cosmic senses tell me you have one weakness, red solar radiation!”
“Hey… no… fair…” Stella backed up a few steps, hoping to get out of range of those burning red eyes.
The pixie picked up a rock and threw it at Stella; she managed to duck so it only caught her on her temple. It still drew blood. Another rock caught her in the stomach and a third on the shoulder. She was lucky so far. If the pixie hit her powerless body at full strength she’d be dead!
Stella stepped back again and tripped over a log. She crawled back a bit but the pixie lightly jumped on to the log and stood over her. “Yeah, that’s right, crawl, crawl you little worm! Astroman is my man!” She delivered a kick to Stella’s bare crotch and made the blonde scream. The pixie wrenched her hair again and held her up. Her hand started to glow red with energy. Stella could feel the heat from it.
“Maybe I won’t have to worry so much after I burn your face!” Her glowing finger was just inches from Stella’s pale skin.
“N-no! Please no! Stars and comets! He’s yours OK? He’s yours!”
“I’m whose?” A deep voice interrupted.
“Astroman!” The two girls cried out in stereo.
“Astropixie, my love! What are you doing here? I thought you were back in your star sector?” He hugged her and they kissed. Stella could see him squeeze the girl’s ass through her miniskirt.
“Oh darling the Celestial Guardians sent me, a sun is going supernova in sector Vector-Sigma, they need the whole Astro Corps!”
“Ah, yes. We’ll leave immediately of course! Miss Stella was it? My apologies, duty calls, we shall have to have a, uh, flying lesson some other time.”
“Flying lesson?” Astropixie sneered.
“Why yes. What did you think we were doing?”
“I… well… from space it looked like…”
He kissed her again. “Nonsense, you know you are the only one for me.”
They took off together.
Astroman never even looked back.
***
Stella felt her powers slowly return. Even once they came back she waited several hours before getting up. Her whole body still hurt. But that was nothing compared to her heart.
“I hate him. I. Hate. Him. I HATE HIM!” She screamed!
“I hope you’re not talking about me?”
Astroman was behind her, she turned and ran to him. To hug him or strangle him she wasn’t sure. But she ran right through him.
“I’m sorry Stella; this is just an astral projection to communicate with you. I am sorry for what I said, as I am sure you noticed Astropixie is quite hot tempered and has a bit of a crush on me, one that I would never reciprocate of course. With billions of lives at stake in Vector-Sigma I had to lie to her so that we could quickly begin our mission.”
“You… you were lying?” She wiped tears from her eyes.
“Of course my love! After what we shared last night how could it be otherwise? You know you are the only one for me.”
“I… I am?”
“Indeed! Although we have already dealt with the supernova I have been delayed a bit on the other side of the galaxy. A few weeks at least. But rest assured I shall find you upon my return.”
“Oh. OK. Um… see you then.”
“Until then remember that I love you.”
“I… I love you too Astroman! Hurry back!”
“I will be counting the hours!”
And then he disappeared.
***
“Oh fuck! What is that thing you’re doing with your tongue?”
Slurping sounds were the Minx’s only answer. Arrowman was on the couch in the Minx’s penthouse and she was giving him a wakeup call he’d never forget.
The patio door opened and Stella walked in. Arrowman covered himself with a pillow. The Minx wiped her mouth and looked up.
The blonde had a black eye and several bruises. She was walking slowly and her eyes were red and puffy.
“Stella? Lynn? Are you OK? You’re hurt! What happened? Astroman didn’t do that did he?”
“Huh? No, I’m fine; it was just a mix-up… He loves me. I’m going to bed now, OK? Oh Arrowman, he said to tell you he’d be back in a few weeks.”
“Um, great. Thanks.”
“G’night…”
They waited until the door closed.
“What do you think that was about?”
“I don’t know, but was it just me or was she not wearing any shorts?”
***
Meanwhile, on the other side of the galaxy…
“Come my handsome off-worlder, come back to bed.”
“Yes my dear, I just needed to send an astral message back home, to my uh, partner.”
The purple-haired queen looked out the window, gauging the position of the sun. “Partner you say? Surely not some low-born harlot from your backwater world?”
“Of course not my queen.”
She stretched on her divan and gestured for him to approach.
“Speaking of partners, I think we still have a few hours before King Solar returns.” She spread her legs exposing her patch of indigo hair between two fine alabaster thighs.
Astroman smiled. “I am so glad I found a chance to visit. You know Queen Lumina you are the only one for me.”
***
And back in Megapolis’ ghettos a young boy picks a pair of red shorts out of the gutter. He looks them over and sees inside a distinctive yellow ‘S’ woven into the fabric.
“Whoa. I bet these are worth something!”
Afterword
After introducing the setting and characters for the first few issues, this issue starts laying the groundwork for the next few.
If you don’t know who Astroman and Arrowman are supposed to be why are you even here? Green Lantern/Green Arrow was a big hit for DC in the 70s pairing liberal and conservative heroes traveling around and having adventures. I thought I’d flip their politics and throw in a bit of Marvel’s space hippy characters too.
Next issue: Meet the new, smaller, more efficient Stella! And her sisters…
Marcus Lycus
November 2007
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