When Vladi Met Kara

by Vladi the Wizard 

Supergirl owned by DC Comics, and Warner. Vladi owned by moi... of course. This is a story about what happened when Harry met Sally.... er, I mean, when the wizard met the superheroine, that led to one of the greatest ... ahhh... love stories (yeah... that's the ticket!) in our genre! Of course, they are from two different worlds, quite literally. Of course, in the story telling I am going to use terms and words and measurements (etc) that you are all familiar with, and not what the various characters would use/say/think, as a way to make things easier for all of use "in the translation". Also, the time frame that I will be using is when I first became aware of Supergirl, which was with Adventure #400, which was published wayyyy back in 1972! (Yup, she gave birth to the pervy old wizard back when he was 11 years old!) I am also putting this in the time frame when Linda Danvers left Stanhope College and moved to San Francisco. And, of course, this is taking place upon a world not exactly our own. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Six - Help! There's a Naked Man in the Park!

"Oh shit..." Vladi heard behind him as he suddenly found himself standing on a cold beach facing the ocean that he had seen from so far away while in the arms of the flying girl. Now, the water was close enough for it to splash it's spray upon his naked flesh.

The wizard blinked as he looked down at himself. He eyesight had returned to normal, and he was now naked, he saw. He immediately figured that it had to do with the teleportation spell that he had cast upon himself. His vision returned to it's normal state because the spell had taken him out of the strange fugue state that he had been in following the planetary communion that he had partaken in. And, his clothes, he imagined that they were still in the grasp of the flying girl, because they were not a part of this world, or a part of him, and such is the problems that often followed one casting teleportation spells.

The wind was cold as it came off the water, and he slowly turned around to take in the sight of dozens of people taking in the sight of him. They stood gaping, though not as much as his naked state as much as it was a man suddenly appearing out of thin air before them.

The wizard took it all in, looking more closely at these people for the first time. There were males and females, but he could see that on this world coupling wasn't just between males and females, as he saw males coupled together as well as females coupled together. He saw couples with children, and people with strange animals of all different sizes that they led about with lines to collars about their necks. Many of those animals appeared to be rather aggressive, and they certainly were noisy with the differing barking that they made towards him. He could see that some of these animals were very protective of their owners, while others appeared to be rather skittish and were actively trying to run away from him.

Vladimire looked at the people who were slowly moving away from him. He saw that the people were of differing colored skin hues, from pinkish white to dark brown to light brown and olive and yellowish. From the sizes of the people and their differing features, he determined that the world he was on had a sizable population with a diverse genetic pool. Most of the worlds that he had visited had only one or two races that walked the surface of their words, and of those most seemed as close to similar to be almost identical as species. But, this world he could tell was full of diversity. He wondered just how diverse this world was, since he had only witnessed a very very small part of it so far.

He was totally comfortable with his body, and was not afraid of his nakedness, though he was becoming more and more aware that his nakedness was affecting those people around him. He could see that some were shocked, and some were worried, just as there were some that were interested and intrigued. He saw that much of this interest came just as much from the males as from the females looking at him.

The thing that was making him more and more uncomfortable, was that he was not able to understand a word that anyone was saying. The teleportation spell that he had cast worked well enough, so he decided to go ahead and cast his spell of understanding upon himself. A number of people moved back cautiously as he brought up his hands to perform the physical gestures of the spell. He felt the strings of the magical energy of the world and slide them around in the proper form and spoke the words of power that he had discovered were the same no matter where he found himself (since they were for his utilization of his skills and abilities), and in the next moment was able to understand what the people were saying around him.

"What the hell is he doing?"

"Did you see where he came from? I swear that he wasn't there a moment ago!"

"Jesus, the guy has no hair. You think he shaves his body?"

"Shit... he's bald even THERE!"

"Who does that!!??"

"Damn he's hung!"

"Quite drooling, Marg!"

"Stop staring, Bob!"

"Shut up, Fido!!"

He felt somewhat better now that he was able to understand the words that the people were saying. He heard that they were talking to each other in different dialects and tongues then, but his spell was allowing him to understand the speech. It would take a little longer for his own tongue to get used to forming such words, but that came with time, as would coming to understand what such words actually meant.

He raised up his hands with palms out to show the men and women looking at him that he had no weapons, and that he was no threat to them. He knew that he didn't need any physical weapons with his mystical powers or physical skills, but he did not want to alarm them any more than he had so far. This was a world that he wanted to learn more of, and it was nearly impossible to learn anything from fleeing people.

"Yeah, that's a good idea buddy!! Get 'em up!" he then heard to the side, and turned to see a man in a blue uniform walking up purposely towards him. He could see that he wore a similar uniform as those men in blue that the Supergirl had helped, complete with a similar metal badge and objects in a belt about his hips. He also had in his hand one of those strange noisy rods that he had seen those men using in that earlier battle in the street. He could see that the man did not have it pointed directly at him, but had no doubt that the man would bring it to bear on him in an instant if he felt threatened.

"Thank God you're here, Officer!"

"That man's NAKED!"

"I can see that, thank you. Now please go your way, citizens. I will take it from here," the officer stated as he motioned with his free hand for those gawking 'citizens' to move away from Vladi and back to their walks on the beach, which they slowly (and a few with some reluctance) finally did.

"Okay buddy, what's your name, and where are your clothes??"

Vladimire told him the truth, of course. He always did. Not that everyone believed him all the time with what he told them. But, that was the problem of those that disbelieved magic and discounted it's practitioners.

"My name is Vla-dee-myer and Sup-er-gurl has my clothes," the mage told the officer, who was looking suspiciously at the side of his head. 

"Now, why would Supergirl have your clothes, Mr Meyer??" the officer asked him, now taking notee of the man's very pale blue eyes while trying not to roll his own. At least it took his attention from his bare naked schlong hanging in the wind! And, was his ears pointed?? He wondered then if this guy was lost from a movie set, and obviously a X-rated set, at that! Still, standing naked in the cold is not something that people normally do, unless under the influence of drugs, so he thought it best to play it careful and keep his weapon ready... just in case. Also, it never hurts when you want to let them know who was in charge, the officer thought to himself.

Vladi didn't know how to answer that question, primarily because he didn't know for sure that she did have his clothes now, and secondly because even if she did (which he truly believed) it would be hard to explain to someone that has no mystical abilities.

"Are you... a... wizard?" Vladimire then asked the man that the others had called 'officer'. Perhaps that was a name for such magic users on this plane. Certainly he had a magical rod in his possession, but he also knew that ownership of magical artifacts did not automatically mean the possessor had magical abilities.

"No, Mister Meyer. I am a police man," the cop answered, thinking now that the man was obviously on something. Probably on LSD.

Vladi looked behind him for a Mister Meyer, but saw no one immediately behind him and turned back to the police man.

"Why did the others then call you Off-e-cyr then, Pol-yce Mon?" the wizard asked the man before him, slowly enunciating the words to get his lips used to forming the words that his magic spell translated for him.

"You must be a foreigner, huh? Well, Mister Meyer," the officer explains, thinking now that this guy must be a German tourist, who got his hands on some acid, and is now his responsibility on the beach where he is freezing his nuts off. "A police man is also known as a police officer, and often called just 'officer' for short." Was this guy a German diplomat, he then wondered. That would make it easier for him, to just turn him over to their consulate. This is where 'diplomatic immunity' would certainly save him on paperwork.

"Four in her?" Vladi asked. He shook his head at the restrictions of the spell of understanding. It may help to understand what is said, but it did not actually help for one to know the meaning of the words. He looked up and back across the expanse of greenery that was between him and the city which he had been flown over. He was thankful that the teleportation spell only put him a short distance away from his start location, because it is much easier to investigate a plane from one location than from a number of separated ones. And, this seemed to be a very interesting plane, with some very interesting ... creatures. Especially that Sup-er-gurl. Where was she at, he wondered, looking in the air over the police man's shoulder.

Chapter Seven - Seek and Ye Shall Find

Where was he? Supergirl wondered as she flew over San Francisco, using her supervision to look for the pointy eared man with the spectacular eyes. She didn't really know what to look for, as she was now holding his clothes. Was he naked, since it was some sort of bath robe that he was wearing, or did he have on some underwear, at least? Still, it was a needle in a huge haystack when looking for a man in the fourth most populous city in the state of California.

At first she had thought that she had dropped him, that he had fallen out of his clothes while she was flying him to the park, but after doing an immediate u-turn, she did not see the man any where near by. He had simply disappeared. Into thin air. Just like he had appeared. Out of thin air. Or, she supposed it would be more accurate to say INTO thin air.

Kara grumbled to herself. This was bothering her more than she cared to admit. She normally dealt with bank robbers and muggers and other type of criminals. Every now and then an alien threat, or a super villain's mischief. She rarely dealt with missing persons, because regardless of her special abilities, unless they were in the middle of a desert or such where people rarely were, it was really next to impossible to find someone, especially in a city of more than eight hundred thousand. Or, eight and a half million people if one would consider the San Jose and Oakland areas added to the greater San Francisco region.

Supergirl turned around to fly back in the direction that she had been going, and then was flying over the Golden Gate Park. She slowed down and was slowly scanning the people that she saw there, paying more attention to single males than couples or groups. Every now and then she thought she saw someone that could be the man, but it was usually a just an Asian with long hair. She was coming to the coat and was just about to turn around to make another search leg when she saw a bunch of people moving away from a cop who was talking to some swimmer. She saw that the swimmer had long black hair so thought it best to give him a good look, just in case.

"Great.. Krypton... " she stammered to herself as she came up short into a hover. The man was not wearing ANYTHING. And, it was the man she was looking for. And, he was... he was... very well endowed! And, obviously not affected by the cold that most men would be. He wasn't even trying to cover himself up. Just standing there tall and proud in front of that policeman, who was doing his best to keep his eyes away from the man's ... very sizable 'package', as the people here would often call such things.

She could feel her face heating up and knew that she was blushing. Normally she would ignore such things, since it was not unusual for her to see a persons genitals when using X-ray vision. But, this was seen with her normal vision. Telescopic certainly, but still normal sight. She then noted that the officer had his gun out, and got immediately worried. He kept it down and to the side, but still it was out of his holster, and while guns did not bother her because of her invulnerability, humans did not have the thickness of skin that she had in such regards to bullets.

The sonic boom reached the pair on the beach just after Supergirl did, which set into motion a series of near simultaneous events which would change the course of the lives of all three. 

"Supergirl!!!" the cop explained as Supergirl landed with a thud from her high speed flight next to him. Some of the sand from her landing kicked up into the policeman's face, and he brought his gun hand up to block the sand. Just then the sonic boom hit them from her super-sonic flight, and the alarmed nature of the officer, with him being off balance caused him to pull the trigger in response to the loud boom. The wizard was turning towards the superheroine with surprise at her sudden appearance, when he noticed the officer stumbling a bit at his side, bringing up the strange rod of power towards him. Supergirl noticed that as well, and immediately stepped forwards as Vladi took a step back to put himself away from the front of the rod. 

"BANG!!" the shot rang out across the beach, and Vladi was first immediately aware of how loud the report was, and second by a terrible pain in his head, followed by a brilliant light which was taken over by a muffled darkness as he fell to the ground with a bullet wound to his temple. Supergirl gasped in shock and the policeman swore as he put his gun in his holster. Supergirl had stepped in front of the bullet, but it ricocheted off her 'S' emblem and into the naked man's head. She immediately X-rayed the wound and was relieved to see that the bullet did not actually enter his brain, but had bounced off his skull in a glancing blow. 

"Holy Shit, Supergirl!! I didn't mean to shoot him!! Shitgoddamnitfuck!!!" the officer swore as he quickly dropped to his knees, putting a hand on the bleeding temple of the wizard who lay lifeless in the sand. 

Supergirl stood in shock as the officer tried to stop the blood with his bare fingers. She had stepped in front of the gun to protect the man from being shot, and he had ended up getting shot anyway. He had stepped back just as she had stepped forward when the officer was pulling the trigger. She knew it was all a terrible accident, but how had the man moved so quickly himself?? If he had just stayed still no one would of been hurt! 

"It's not your fault, Officer! Ahhh... you call this in, and I am going to take him to Saint Mary's, as it's the closest! Did you ever get his name?" Supergirl asked as she scooped the man up into her arms, and wrapped him as best she could in his black bath robe. 

"Ahhh..ummm... I think his name is Meyers. He had a strange first name like Val or... Vlad ... something foreign." the cop answered as he stood up, wiping his bloody hands on his uniform trousers while quickly looking down the beach to spot the nearest phone box. Supergirl was relieved that the officer was not panic stricken and that had his wits about him, and took a note of his name tag before lifting up into the air. 

"I'll get him some help, then call your precinct sergeant and let him know what happened her. Don't you worry, Officer Johnson!" Supergirl said as she turned towards Saint Mary's which was near the end of the park. She brought up part of his clothing to hold over his head where he was bleeding, as she flew as fast as she could, while being careful not to fly so fast that he would not be able to breath from the air turbulence, trying not to think of the guilt that she was feeling for his predicament.

Chapter Eight - Sweet Dreams are Made of These

Wizards always had the strangest dreams. Part of it was because of their magical abilities connects their subconscious to the world around them in ways that normal people are not. The other part was that their dreams are not so much their brains trying to make sense of the world around them, as much as the world around them are trying to give messages to them. Vladi was no different in this as the Earth was taking advantage of his comatose state to communicate with him those things that he needed to know in order to better utilize his powers. Some people would call such powers psychic abilities, but that was seen by wizards as being too limiting to what it was that they actually did.

The wizard named Vladimire was not aware of his flight to the hospital in the arms of Supergirl, though he did have a feeling of repose within the comforting arms of the goddess of Gaia. And, like all wizards, he was able to control his dreams through a lucid state, though he was having some problems with steering and controlling the dreams because of his head injury. The injury also made it harder for him to control and regulate the flow of mystical energies that the world was flowing into and around and through him. 

He did his best to learn about the land that he found himself in, and it was fairly easy for him to get information about San Francisco and the region of California that he found himself in. Some things were more difficult to learn of, such as the regional politics and economics as the land has little concern in such things as the humans upon her surface do. He was able to learn some about such things as the humans of the world cannot help but leave behind the mental residue of things that they feel strongly about, and Vladi started to learn more about this worlds social norms from such generalized feelings from the populace that fed their emotions to the Earth around them. 

He had a thousand questions that needed answering, and for every one question that he finally found the answer to in the strange mystic-psychic ether, a dozen more questions popped up. Many, if not most, of his questions had to do with the strange flying girl named Supergirl.

Such information was actually fairly easy for him to learn this way, because many people had very strong feelings and thoughts about the superheroine, who had done many good things for the Earth, so that the Gaia also had good feelings for her (as much as a planet/ecosystem could have feelings).

But, much of the problem that he was facing, though he was not aware of such in his unconscious state, was that the location that he was in, was filtering the information that he was feeding upon through the prisms of the sick and injured and ill of mind that made up the majority of the people in Saint Mary's hospital. Intense feelings many times over rode more settled thoughts, making it difficult to ascertain what was true versus what was perceived. As a wizard, he knew that perception did not always equate truth, but to those perceiving the world around them, such perceptions where the truth. This is something that wizards often took advantage of, and he was of no exception. 

Time stood still for the comatose wizard, who spent his time exploring his surroundings away from his body. Some had called such things as spirit walking, while others called it astral projection. In any event, it was the witnessing of things away from his corporal body through his mystical senses. He was aware of his body laying on a white bed while surrounded by strange machines, which had lines and tubes to different parts of his body to keep it fed and nourished. In a way, Vladi was actually glad of that, because then he didn't have to concentrate on paying attention to his physical form, to feed and water it and to pay attention to it's different needs. With the HOSPITAL taking care of him, he was able to explore this world to his minds content. Unfortunately, or fortunately as depending on how one would look at it, his mind was never content.

At first he just stayed close to his body, watching those people looking over him, the doctors and nurses and other staff who poked and prodded him, while taking looks into his eyes and mouth and ears while writing down their observations, while talking excitedly among each other about his unusual characteristics. Much of their conversation was confusing to him, as they used many terms that her discovered to be highly specific to their training, which most lay people did not understand. He thought of them as something of peers, as they were men and women who were dedicated to knowledge, but with a more 'scientific' aspect. Most of them openly scoffed and scorned those who were more open to the ways of the spirit and the 'paranormal', which was becoming something that was discussed more and more openly around his bedside.

He was also becoming more and more aware of the strong aspect that sexuality had on this people. On one hand they seemed to go out of their way to pay no attention to, or hide, their sexual properties, such as their breasts and genitals. But, at the same time, they dressed in ways and acted in ways which would often direct the eye to such personal 'areas of privacy'. Every now and then, when things were not as active as it was night time when most of the people were asleep, one or two staff members, would come into his room, and move away his bed coverings to examine his genitals. Some seemed to be very concerned with it's cleanliness and would even clean it in manners to cause his penis to engorge from stimulation, much to their amazement and many times, personal amusement. 

As time went on, Vladi expanded his astral travels further and further away from his body, to the area outside of the hospital where his body lay. And where the hospital was quiet and neat and ordered, the San Francisco outside the hospital was loud and chaotic and disorganized. People came and went, in varying speeds, yelling and talking and hugging and kissing and slapping each other. Again he noted that the coupling arrangements was much different than he was used to in his travels, with same sex couples being very common, with the men often called 'gay', while the women would often be called 'lesbian'.

Many of them had pets, of many shapes and sizes and colors, mostly of the feline variety called 'cats' and a canine variety of species called 'dogs', which they would walk around collared via a line they called a 'leash'. However, mostly he saw dogs treated this way, as the cats would mostly be carried around in containers for their comfort and protection. Occasionally, he would witness some of these people treating other people the same way as their pets, having them walk at their sides or just behind them, the other 'lesser' person wearing a collar and led on a leash. And, while they would be called 'pet', much like one would a dog or a cat, these pets were more about sexuality than ownership (though there was that aspect involved, as well).

As it was, Vladimire spent most of his time staying as close to Saint Mary's hospital as he could, and only slowly expanding his astral range as he became more comfortable with the city, it's neighborhoods, and his own powers and abilities. He was finding it easier and easier to go further from his body, and then to get back quickly to it again. Before too long he no longer needed to travel in a straight line from his body in order to find it again, nor was he needing to have visual landmark cues in order to help him find his way. He was having a great time exploring and spying upon this land, but it was getting more and more frustrating to him that he was not able to interact with the people or the environment in ways in which would help him learn as much as he would like, as fast as he would like. 

Chapter Nine - Just Who Is At Fault, Anyway?

It had been just over seven weeks since Supergirl had brought the mysterious 'Mister Meyer' to Saint Mary's Hospital, and since then little has changed to his condition. She would drop in every now and then to check in on him, as she had taken him under her charge, since in her investigations no one else would, as he seemed to have come from no where, and no one was wanting to take responsibility for him. Except for the SFPD Officer that shot him, Marc Johnson. Many times she would come in to check on Mr. Meyer to find Officer Johnson sitting at his bedside, looking dejected and guilty. She could understand his feelings, all to well, and even though she did her best to convince the policeman that it was not his fault, it was impossible to steer him away from such thoughts, just as it was impossible for her not to feel that his laying in a coma was her fault.

The doctors she spoke to were on one hand unsure why he was still in a coma, but said that such things varied from person to person and case to case, and that all they could really do is wait. But, at the same time they were very fascinated by his case, not in that he was in a coma from a gunshot wound to his head, but that he was so unlike everyone else in the hospital. On one hand he looked human, and tested human in so many different ways. But, on the other hand the doctors were fascinated by his strange eyes. His ears they explained as just some genetic anomaly or even some (very good) cosmetic surgery, but his eyes were nothing like they had ever seen before. Even in the man's comatose state, the eyes were still reactive in ways that would indicate that the man should not be in a coma. Another thing that mystified them, is that in all the time that he was in the coma, his body did not react as one normally would. His muscles did not atrophy nor did his hair get any longer. He did not develop bed sores, nor did he need shaving. In ways, it seemed as if his body had gone into a strange sort of suspended animation, and indeed, he seemed to be in absolutely perfect health, except for the matter of being perpetually unconscious. 

Supergirl did not like leaving him like this in the hospital, but she didn't know what other option she had. There was a city... a state... a country of people that needed her and her powers, and she could not spend much time worrying over one person, no matter how much she may take credit for his condition. Soon, it became a habit of hers to stop in and check on him before she went to her home, regardless of the day she had, be it with a great victory, or the few ignominious defeats. Of course, there were times when she was captured by some alien or villain that kept her away from checking on her charge, but after she escaped or was freed, he would be her last stop of the day. 

She didn't spend much time with Mister Meyer, but the time she did spend with him she made sure that his bed was neat and the sheets fresh, and that there were flowers somewhere in the room. She would also make sure that his room television was on, and kept changing the channel to something new each time, just in case there was some show that he would be more reactive to in his coma. She preferred the variety shows herself, and usually stayed for at least a half hour, holding his hand and laughing at the antics of the various comedians, or singing along with the latest pop rock ballads. 

Vladi was, of course, completely aware of Supergirl when she visited him. He made sure that anytime that she showed up that he would soon be back in his hospital room, watching over Supergirl watch over him. She was a strange enigma to him, at one time vastly powerful, but at the same time softly feminine. She had an amazing power about her that was such much more than the people of the Earth. After a while of investigating, he discovered that she, like him, was not of this world, but had come from a destroyed planet called Krypton, along with the only other survivor of that planet, a hero named Superman. He had heard that there were other heroes and heroines (as they were differentiated between male and female respectably) but they all seemed to stay in one particular place which they guarded, as Supergirl guarded San Francisco, and it's inhabitants. Such as, now, himself. 

He didn't really know what to make of the two, the heroine and the cop, that would often come and stay sitting by him in his hospital room. He had discovered that he had 'been shot' and that the officer Marc Johnson had fired his 'gun' at him, and that the 'bullet' shot from the gun had struck him in the head, which is what caused him to go unconscious. Many of the staff of the hospital had said that he was lucky to be alive, as that no one hardly survives being shot from such a short range. That made him a bit upset with the officer, and thus by extension, those that he represented. It was a little confusing to him, but it seemed like many people in San Francisco had troubles with "The Man" and his authority over them, and that Vladi could very well understand, as wizards were usually a very independent lot. But, this man had almost killed him, while 'enforcing the law', which the officer had often told him, in a near pleading fashion, as he lay unresponsive in the hospital bed before the sorrowful cop. 

Then, there was Supergirl. And she confused him by also apologizing to him, stating that she was sorry for the bullet hitting him after it had bounced off her. Was she now taking the blame away from Officer Johnson and putting it upon herself, he wondered. Was that part of being a hero, or heroine, that they make such sacrifices, which also meant to take the blame from one person for their action and to put it upon their own shoulders? Or, was she really being contrite because his injury really was her fault, and not the accident that so many in the hospital staff had been talking about, that it was no one's fault but just an unfortunate series of moments in time that all added up to his ending up in this hospital bed with tubes and wires attached to him? It was something that he would not find the answer to easily, or quickly. Certainly not in the comatose state he was in. 

Vladi was actually interested in the television that was kept on for him. Actually, it seemed like a common thing in the 'ward' that he was in, where the staff would keep the device on as a means to connect with the unconscious mind of the person in the coma. His favorite programs were actually the 'News' programs, where attractive 'newscasters' would tell 'the viewer' that had happened that day. It was interesting that the newscasters were usually in pairs of male and females, though they would be joined by a 'jock' for 'sports', then a younger and often very attractive (not that any were ugly) person for the weather. He often laughed at how wrong the weather people were in their forecasts, but most of the people watching did not seem to mind that much, often times making disparaging remarks about 'bimbos', who were meant to be seen and not heard, and if heard never believed. 

If attractiveness equated bimbo-ism, would that make Supergirl the premiere bimbo? Vladi wondered. He didn't think that was the case, as many times when she spoke with the doctors and nurses, she showed a very quick and effective grasp of what they were talking about. He usually had no clue of what they were talking about because of all the medical specific jargon that they used, but Supergirl seemed to have no trouble at all conversing with them on the same level of understanding. No, he decided. While she was the most attractive of all the females on this plane (in his mind, and that was the most important to him), she was not a 'bimbo'. No, she was much more than everyone else that he had witnessed so far here. Indeed, she was more than all of them combined, he felt. But, just what was she? He was getting more and more curious about this blonde 'superheroine', and was looking more and more forwards to those times when she would visit him at the hospital. So much so, that he started to get upset when she would not show up in her normal times in the evening, when the hospital would close it's doors to all visitors, including the police (though, never for Supergirl). 

Vladi decided that he had learned enough about the 'citizens' of San Francisco, and the city for the time being, and was now time to learn more about Supergirl. He was finally confident enough in his mystical abilities and control over his astral self to follow Supergirl, and to observe her and how her 'normal day' goes.